It’s Election Day. We can get through this. It might require a comic amount of alcohol, but we can get through this.

It’s time. Please vote. 

Please, please vote.

Please, I’m begging you, vote.

If not for me, for Momma Ru:

Here is something that we can actually thank Donald Trump for: television writers, like the creator of Jane the Virgin, are making consent much clearer in romantic scenes.

And if you are, somehow, impossibly still an undecided voter, never forget: Donald Trump does not know how to say “Beyoncé”:

To take your mind off of things, look at these hilarious pictures of dogs or watch this live feed of red pandas (beginning at noon Central time).


Now listen, these Game of Thrones spoilers are not the average Game of Thrones spoilers I usually post here. These are huge — like potentially the entire plot of season 7 huge. I don’t know how trustworthy these spoilers are, but I imagine HBO fucking furious right now no matter how accurate they are. Personally I kind of wish I hadn’t read these, but if you just can’t resist having the whole season spoiled for you — seriously — here you go. (And a full list of spoilers is here and it is crazy.) I tried to warn you.

If you thought that penguin drama was exciting yesterday, this iguana chase scene is going to BLOW YOUR MIND. I can not wait for Planet Earth 2.

Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen are going to return to Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is terrific mostly because it means Curb Your Enthusiasm is actually moving forward and not just being talked about, hooray!

Sean Astin and Paul Reiser are joining the cast of Stranger Things, which is really doubling down on that 80s vibe.

Love is real: Amanda and Josh from Bachelor in Paradise are still together, and she is somehow making $13,0000 A MONTH from HER BLOG. I am doing this whole blog thing wrong.

American Woman, the dramedy based on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills‘ Kyle Richards’ life (and not to be confused with American Housewife) has been ordered by TV Land and will star Alicia Silverstone. Cue Kim’s bender.

In other development news:

Hulu, which has resisted the binge model, will finally surrender to it with their new series Shut Eye. GIVE IN TO THE BINGE.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is returning on January 4th so between that and The Mick which will debut on January 1st, you’ll be having a lot of Sweet Dee in your life. I have nothing to say about Man Seeking Woman.

Break out the Christmas Cookie: Taraji P. Henson’s White Hot Holidays special will be returning on Fox next month.


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Election coverage: Almost there, guys.7 p.m. ABC, CBS, FOX, NBC, PBS, CSPAN, CNN, MSNBC, FOX News, Pretty much everywhere. 

The View Live Election Special: The ladies of The View go primetime, because that’s just what everyone wanted: more The View.  8 p.m., Lifetime

Escape the Election: Just smooth jazz and clouds and rainbows. No, really. Beginning at 2 p.m., The Weather Channel

Stephen Colbert’s Live Election Night Democracy’s Series Finale: Who’s Going to Clean Up This Shit?: Stephen Colbert heads to premium cable to cover the election results so that he can say the bad words. 10 p.m., Showtime

Late Night: The Daily Show: Live election night coverage

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Election Coverage
CBS Election Coverage
CW The Flash
No Tomorrow
FOX Election Coverage
NBC Election Coverage
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