There are so many interesting things to note about this list of the highest-paid television talent:
- BALLERS? The Rock is getting paid nearly twice as much for Ballers than Julia Louis-Dreyfus is for Veep? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS BULLSHIT?
- How is it that Jensen Ackles makes the list but Jared Padalecki is nowhere to be found?
- Netflix is just made of cash. It’s a cash factory over there, apparently.
- Judge Judy truly is a boss. I need to find someone to pay me $47 million a year to roll my eyes. I am very good at it.
American Horror Story will be sticking around FX to terrify/exasperate you for a seventh season. Ryan Murphy is already calling it a “narratively strange one,” so buckle up.
Anderson Cooper just dashed your hopes that he would become Kelly Ripa’s co-host on Live! and re-upped with CNN. Although, didn’t he do his own daytime talk show a couple of years ago while hosting 360º? Why can’t he do that again? KEEP HOPE ALIVE.
Simon Cowell will be sticking around America’s Got Talent through 2019. No word yet on Nick Cannon’s turban.
AMC ordered Lodge 49, a drama produced by Paul Giamatti about a surfer dude who joins a fraternal lodge because daddy issues or something.
In other development news:
- CBS bought A Burglar’s Guide to the City, from the team that gave us Scorpion, that is being described as a “modern-day Robin Hood” drama.
Here are your charming reminders that Lin-Manuel Miranda will be hosting Saturday Night Live this weekend.
We have to wait until January for Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. Boo.
Finally! A video tutorial on how to become Dead Barb for Halloween, slug and all.
WATCH THIS
American Horror Story: There is no information about what is going to happen, but if I had to put money on it, I bet the Motts from Freak Show somehow come up. 9 p.m., FX
Frequency: It’s a remake of the Dennis Quaid sorta-time travel movie, but with a female lead because it is on The CW. Series premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
NOVA: A two-hour exploration of how early humans left Africa and populated the entire world. 8 p.m., PBS
Arrow: Season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Ashton Kutcher, Issa Rae, Norah Jones Late Night with Seth Meyers: Chelsea Clinton, Ted Danson, Bishop Briggs, Stanton Moore The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Armie Hammer, Lindsay Vonn, Gustavo Dudamel with the Simon Bolivar Symphony Orchestra The Late Late Show with James Corden: Julie Chen, Beth Behrs, Kristin Chenoweth Jimmy Kimmel Live: Zach Galifianakis, Idina Menzel Conan: Norm Macdonald, ZZ Top The Daily Show: Mark Duplass Watch What Happens Live: Kelly Clarkson, Melissa Etheridge
| WEDS. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | The Goldbergs (new) |
Speechless (new) |
Modern Family (new) |
black-ish (new) |
Designated Survivor (new) |
| CBS | Survivor (new) |
Criminal Minds (new) |
Code Black (new) |
| CW | Arrow (new — PREMIERE) |
The Flash (new — PREMIERE) |
Local |
| FOX | Lethal Weapon (new) |
Empire (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Blindspot (new) |
Law & Order: SVU (new) |
Chicago P.D. (new) |
Where is Padalecki for Supernatural and where is Ed O’Neil with the rest of the Modern Family cast — he was originally the highest paid when the show began but i thought they all had joined together for contract negotiations a la Friends.
And by the by, every one of these actors has Friends to thank for the explosions of their Salary and for the ensemble shows, they have the 6 friends to thank for the acceptability of group extortion, er, negotiability. I feel like someone should be giving David Schwimmer some salary royalties (Ross was my fav friend).
THERESE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? Brace yourself for the inevitable outbreak of a comments war between Jensen, Jared, and Misha-stans.