‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’: Sister, sister

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
“Not Easy to Love”
March 1, 2016

Let’s just get this whole Lisa Rinna’s daughter’s tonsils thing out of the way first.

no1curr-no-one-cares-dog

Not only do I not care about Lisa Rinna’s daughter’s tonsils, I’m angry that I had to spend any time at all even contemplating Lisa Rinna’s daughter’s tonsils, much less even type the words, “Lisa Rinna’s daughter’s tonsils.” THIS IS NOT A STORY. GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK.

In more interesting news, happily married couple David and Yoyawnda Foster prepare to host a dinner party at some restaurant, and promise that an “extraordinary” artist is going to perform for them. We are reminded that the Fosters always have “extraordinary” artists perform at their dinners, artists like Babyface and Musical Genius David Foster. “NO SING-ALONGS,” Musical Genius David Foster yelled at his guests that one time because he’s the best.

So Kyle swings by PINK HOUSE before dinner to have a staged conversation with Lisa Vanderpump so as to remind us that Yoyawnda recently sent Kyle a scolding email on which she CC’d the rest of the cast. Kyle notes that dinner might be awkward, but it only make things worse if she skipped it. And besides, there’s always a chance Musical Genius David Foster could yell at everyone again, and who’d want to miss that?

Everyone begins arriving to the restaurant, and Kyle makes a point of quietly telling Yoyawnda that she wants to talk about the email later. Then Yoyawnda turns to Lisa Vanderpump and tries to make a coffee date with her, only to have Lisa Vanderpump sniff that she doesn’t drink coffee, darling, only Vandertea. Lisa Vanderpump tries to avoid having Vandertea altogether by just telling Yoyawnda then and there that she never said anything derogatory about Yoyawnda’s children. At this, Yoyawnda begins tearing up and hurries away. It’s all very strange.

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When Eileen arrives Lisa Vanderpump begins demanding to know if they’re still “Vandergood.” Eileen is like, “as Vandergood as we were as of yesterday, which is to say, no.” But instead of getting into another tedious argument, the women just stare icily at each other and move to their separate corners.

Lisa Vanderpump has other fish to fry anyway, and turns her attention to Erika, confronting her about telling Kathryn not to get tangled in her so-called Vanderweb. Erika, to her credit, totally admits it, but then explains she said it because Lisa Vanderpump and Kathryn both asked her within a week of each other how long she has known Yoyawnda. Erika’s point is that Lisa Vanderpump encouraged Kathryn to ask Erika this question, and the question itself is an attempt to discredit Erika’s relationship with Yoyawnda. Lisa Vanderpump tries to Vanderargue against this for a while, but eventually just Vandernsiffs that she won’t bother to ask Erika any questions in the future.

Over dinner of roasted lemons — I’m not even kidding — Lisa Rinna asks Kyle if it would be weird for her to text Kim and wish her a happy birthday: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KIM. ALSO, WATCH YOUR BACK. ~birthday cake emoji~ ~gun emoji~ ~gun emoji~”

oprah no

And Eileen becomes kinda angry at Lisa Rinna? For some reason? For defending Lisa Vanderpump and saying that she’s not manipulative? I think that’s what is happening here? Or maybe Eileen is just trying to create conflict with someone, anyone to keep herself relevant on the show, especially now that Brandi isn’t around to throw glasses of water on her for no good reason. I think that’s what happened here.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the table, Erika confronts Kathryn for telling Lisa Vanderpump what she had said about her in confidence, and Kathryn is all, “Welp, don’t say something if you don’t want it repeated.”

erika disapproving rhobh eyes

And then Yoyawnda makes everyone move to a different room where they reveal their special guest, Andrea Bocelli, and make him sing “Ave Maria.” And because everything is obviously about Kyle, she decides that this song is a message from her dead mother, and that message is: “contact Kim.” Having a world-famous opera singer perform your favorite song in a private concert doesn’t seem like the easiest way to convey a message from the afterlife, but sure. OK.

Later, Kyle, Mauricio and a couple of her daughters have dinner, and their dog, Bambi, steals baked potatoes off of the table. So apparently one thing the Richards sisters have in common is a complete unwillingness to train their dogs.

Elsewhere, Yoyawnda, Erika and Eileen meet in some park somewhere  and discuss how not cool it was for Kathryn to immediately tattle on Erika to Lisa Vanderpump. Then Eileen is like, “WHAT ABOUT MY THING WITH LISA VANDERPUMP, LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT AGAIN AND NEVER LET IT END.”

fiona eyeroll

Meanwhile, over at PINK HOUSE, The Sultan delivers a tiny pink barn for Lisa’s mini-Vanderhorses, and we’re reminded that Lisa was Vanderfriends with him long before she was Vanderfriends with Yoyawnda. That is the entire point of this whole scene, just Lisa picking Vandersides.

As for Kathryn, she meets with her sisters to discuss their mother’s struggle with dementia. Fortunately for their mother, she will soon forget her daughters were discussing her struggle with dementia on national television.

Finally, Kyle and Kim. After 13 Kim-free episodes, Kim shows up at Kyle’s house to talk things over with her sister, but they end up doing the typical Richards sisters nonsense where they don’t actually talk about much of anything. I mean, at one point, Kyle says that she feels like Kim hates her, and Kim is taken aback and tells her sister that she loves her with all her heart. And they agree that they can’t be going for such long periods of time without seeing each other. But other than that? There’s just more talking vaguely around their issues instead of dealing with them in honest way, and long story short, Kyle needs to GO TO AL-ANON ALREADY, GAH.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs on Bravo on Tuesdays at 8 p.m.

This post originally appeared on the Hearst site Chron.com.

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