‘American Horror Story: Freak Show’: A golden god

American Horror Story: Freak Show
“Tupperware Party Massacre”
December 10, 2014

We begin in “Esmerelda” the “fortune teller’s ” tent, where she is actually giving someone their fortune for a change: Dandy’s. Dandy worries that he’s had some “misadventures” with the ladies recently, and the person he counted on for help isn’t there to help anymore on account of having been shot in the face by him.
In fact, as we see in a flashback, Dandy has added to his pile of bodies one Avon lady, whom he beheaded and sewed on to Gloria’s body so as to make a Dot and Bette puppet because oh, hell, why not.

But “Esmerelda” who is of course merely a con artist and not gifted with second sight, assures Dandy that it’s all cool. Sure, there will be some trouble from his past, but it’ll pass, don’t worry about it, he’ll go on breaking hearts like before. Dandy is overwhelmed to hear the news, declares “Esmerelda” his savior, overpays her, and promises to return to take advantage of her “true powers.”

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the carnival, Drunk Jimmy is busily overfeeding Ima and grossing us all out with his gratuitous sex talk about how if she “wants it long and hard,” she needs to be “soft and wide.” Horror story, indeed. As Dandy passes the tent, Drunk Jimmy stumbles out to confront him, demanding to know what Dandy has done with the Twins, and Dandy’s like, “Dude, you took them from me, remember? And oh, by the way, I’m a god and I’m going to destroy everyone and everything you love. Ok, see you later!”

In the midst of her big Emmy-reel death monologue, Ethel mentioned to Elsa that she had hidden the Twins to keep them safe. (At least, that’s what I think she said.) However, it takes all of two minutes of searching through Ethel’s caravan to find her suicide note addressed to Jimmy with the address of the Twins’ location. So Elsa and “Richard Spencer” head to the motel where they’ve been stashed, and are like, “Hey, guys, come on back with us, we won’t kill you, promise.” And the Twins are like, “Hmm, we are suspicious, but sure, OK, what could go wrong, right?”

Back at the carnival: hey, look, it’s Theo Huxtable! What are you doing here Theo Huxtable? (avoid making a Bill Cosby joke…. avoid making a Bill Cosby joke… avoid making a Bill Cosby joke…) Looking for Desiree, a.k.a. “the most beautiful woman in the world,” because you’re her secret “beau?” OK, cool, not random at all.

After establishing Theo Huxtable will be a part of the cast this season, Desiree and “Esmerelda” happen to walk in on Drunk Jimmy and Ima stuffing the turkey, filling the donut, kneading the dough. “Esmerelda” is all, “ugh, gross,” before informing Ima that Drunk Jimmy doesn’t care about her, she could be a sock or a pillow for all it’s worth. And to drive home the point, Drunk Jimmy begins vomiting all over the place. Sexxxxy!

But Drunk Jimmy isn’t done yet, and heads over to his regular “Tupperware Party” gig, where he is unable to perform his lobstering duties, and freaks everyone out when he has a hallucination of his dead mother telling him that he’s really, really embarrassing her already, so sober up. The “Tupperware Party” ladies are like, “ugh, gross, go away?” And so he does, just as Dandy comes to the door, claiming his car has broken down and he needs to borrow the phone. DON’T LET HIM IN, “TUPPERWARE PARTY” LADIES! YOU’RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE, “TUPPERWARE PARTY” LADIES!

And sure enough, when Mr. Tupperware Lady comes home, he finds the entire party bleeding out in the swimming pool, making a terrible mess.

But did you listen, Tupperware Party Ladies?

Meanwhile, “Richard” and Elsa remove the Twins from a fairly comfortable-looking motel room to ensconce them in a dirty shed somewhere, to await the good doctor who they promise is on his way down from Chicago to separate them. Bette is like, “Oh I do not think so, thank you very much,” but “Richard” and Elsa promise that it’s totally cool! They will both survive the surgery! For reals! And as for this operating table plopped down in the middle of this spider-infested shed, that’s just for the initial examination, they are certainly not going to use it to gas them to death, why would you even worry about that?

Over at the Mott Mansion, Regina pops in to Dandy’s playroom to be all, “Hey, weirdo, guess what, I’ve called the cops to help me find Miss Patti LaBelle.” Dandy, who is preparing another bath, is like, “Well, I totally killed her, and my mother and a whole Tupperware Party full of ladies just this morning, and in fact I’m going to take a bath in their blood. Here’s an idea! How about you climb into the bath with me, it’ll be fun!” Regina is all “Thanks but no thanks, I’m gonna go now, k?” And after going on a long ramble about his “destiny” and how he’s an unstoppable deity who is above the law, Dandy just lets Regina leave? Huh. Didn’t see that coming.

Back in the spider shed, the Twins discuss the upcoming surgery, and Bette is like, “You know that only one of us is going to survive this right?” In response, Dot whines that she is done with being stuck with Bette, and Bette is all, “Look, I can face facts, I’d never survive without you. So if we’re really going to go through with this, I want you to be the one to live.” And then they cry and cry and cry.

With Ghost Ethel’s encouragement, the Commish tries to hang himself because of Teh Ghey, but Desiree finds him in the nick of time and cuts him down. Whatever.

Back at his motel room, “Richard Spencer” Stanley preps Doctor Sexypants on his upcoming role as the Twins’ surgeon. Doctor Sexypants is an idiot who can not remember his one line, and worries that he’ll actually have to perform the operation. Stanely assures Doctor Dum-Dum that they will only be doing a little “euthanasia,” he shouldn’t be worrying his pretty little head about it. Now time to scrub the scrubs!

Over at the Mott Mansion, Regina arrives with Officer HeyIt’sThatGuy, and informs Dandy that she’s told the officer everything. Dandy is like, “That’s cool. The thing is, I come from a frozen food fortune and I’m a god and I’m willing to pay you one million dollars to kill Regina right now.” And with nary a moment of hesitation, Officer¬†HeyIt’sThatGuy shoots Regina in the face. Hey, one million dollars, right?

Back at the carnival, Drunk Jimmy has a fit when the performers try to remove Ethel’s banner, and stumbles into his caravan where he finds the Twins waiting for him. There, Dot explains that she was about to do something terrible, but has changed her mind because Bette is awesome. And anyway, long story short, Dot wants to ease Drunk Jimmy’s pain if he knows what she means. To make sure he knows what she means, the Twins drop their robe and are like, “Well?” Drunk Jimmy asks Bette if this is cool with her, and she’s all, “I mean, yeah? I guess?” And so Drunk Jimmy kisses Dot, but when Bette goes in to kiss him it becomes a step too weird and Drunk Jimmy is overwhelmed with NOPE. He informs the Twins that he’s really sorry, but he’s in love with someone else, OK BYE NOW, before sending them back to their spider shed.

And that’s when the police arrive and arrest Drunk Jimmy for the “Tupperware Party” Ladies’ murders.

Bye, Drunk Jimmy! Hope you fare better in the joint than Meep!

I wasn’t going to write much more about this episode because honestly, I’m losing patience with this season. We’ve come to that dangerous latter portion of the season where all the ideas have seemed to worn away, characters are killed off without rhyme or reason (so that’s how you’re gonna do Gabourey Sidibe,¬†writers?), and we all are somewhat ready for it to be over already. There are no mysteries left other than whether or not Stanley and Maggie will actually claim their two-headed trophy and whether or not Dandy will be stopped. But I find myself struggling to care, frankly.

But because I am the way I am, I can’t not point out that the writers seem to be trying to establish another theme in this episode: this idea of deification and salvation. It is interesting that Dandy refers to himself as a god in this episode, three times to be exact: to Drunk Jimmy, to Regina and to Officer Familiar Face. It’s the ravings of a lunatic, obviously, but ravings that so far have borne out: no one can seem to stop Dandy, and he appears to, in fact, be above human law (as money often is). But what is interesting about Dandy referring to himself repeatedly is that before he does so, he tells “Esmerelda the Fortune Teller” that she is his “savior.” Is this foreshadowing some role that “Esmerelda” may play in finally being able to stop, contain or kill Dandy?

The savior motif threads through the other stories in the episode as well: Desiree literally saves The Commish’s life; Bette offers her own life to save Dot’s only to have Dot save Bette by choosing to not go through with the surgery; and might Theo Huxtable be there to save Desiree from this whole mess, to give her the normal life she has always wanted? That, or he is going to turn out to be another raving psychopath or Nazi alien with a nipple fixation or a witch-hunting minotaur. You just never know with this show. Someone needs to save it from itself already.

American Horror Story: Freak Show aired on FX.

This post originally appeared on the Hearst site Tubular.

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