The Walking Dead
October 20, 2013
ALRIGHT. WHOEVER YOU ARE SNEAKING OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITH THE FLASHLIGHT TO FEED RATS TO THE FENCE WALKERS, YOU NEED TO CUT THAT OUT IMMEDIATELY. I MEAN IT. THAT IS ENOUGH.
Inside the prison, Tyrese attempts to woo Karen with his version of “I’ve Got You Under My Skin” which is sweet and kind of sexy but also kind of creepy but definitely very foreshadowy. Ultimately what it is is unsuccessful as Karen wants to wait before they take this thing between them to the next sexytimes level. Girl, you are crazy.
But she sticks to her guns and heads back to her cell block, checking out the creepy kids’ art on the walls and swinging by the bathroom for a quick cooldown. Karen hears something banging around in the showers, but her flashlight dies before she can see that it’s Zombie Phineas. So instead of, I don’t know, finding someone with a gun and a working flashlight to help her investigate, she’s like, OH WELL, I’M SURE IT’S NOTHING. HO HUM, I’LL JUST GO TO BED NOW. Of course Zombie Phineas follows her back to the cellblock where he’s drawn to one of her coughing neighbors and proceeds to NOM NOM NOMs on the sleeping man’s throat. NOM.
And Zombie Phineas is still nomming on Coughing Man the next morning, demonstrating remarkable focus for a walker, but leaving me with certain questions. Namely, how long, exactly, does it take to turn into a walker? Because it would seem Zombie Phineas has been gorging on Coughing Man’s intestines for hours now, and it’s only when the sun comes up that Coughing Man finally turns. Sooooo?
Apparently, Glenn and Maggie have taken up residence in the guard tower, for a little privacy, I suppose, and maybe to keep an eye on the growing throng at the gates. But hey, guess what, I have more questions. From the first season until now, how much time has passed? And in that time, which has to be at least a couple of years now just based on Judith’s gestation, birth and current age, have we had a single winter? Because it’s going to get cold up there in that open-air guard tower, that is what I’m saying. I know it’s the south, but Georgia has winters.
But that’s not the point of this scene. The point of this scene is Glenn takes a picture of a sleeping Maggie with his Big Lots! camera, and she wakes up and playfully demands he throw it away and he playfully refuses and ohmygod are they going to kill Maggie leaving Glenn with only that picture of her ohmygod I bet they are going to kill Maggie ohmygod.
Michonne heads out for a supply/find The Governor run, offering to pick up comics and candy for Carl, before asking him for the audience why he no longer wears his hat. Carl explains that it’s not a “farming hat” because Symbolism.
While Rick and Carl feed the three little pigs, Carl asks his father when he can have his gun back, but before Rick can be like, Uh, how about never? Will never work for you? they hear gunshots from inside the prison. PANIC PANIC PANIC.
Rick runs into the prison, and Michonne turns back, trailing a couple of walkers behind her. Before the gates can open, Michonne hops off her horse, for some reason, and struggles with the two walkers,. Carl dispatches one with a shotgun until Maggie can come down from the tower and drag a hobbled Michonne inside to safety.
Inside cell block D, Rick, Glenn, Daryl, Tyrese and Carol come upon a crazypants scene: walkers, children screaming, chaos chaos chaos, blood. After much running around and carrying children out and shooting walkers in the head, Daryl and Rick go about making sure the dead stay dead, stabbing the corpses through their heads. Stab stab stab. And that’s when they discover that one of the bodies is Phineas’s. R.I.P., Zombie Phineas.
Carol finds one man bitten on the arm and shoves him into a cell so as to amputate, but yikes, he’s also been bitten in the back of the neck and there’s just no amputating that. Man realizes that he’s not going to make it and asks Carol to take care of his two young daughters as her own, and Carol agrees, obviously. But first! To properly traumatize them, she brings Young Daughters, Lizzie and Mika, in to say their goodbyes/kill their Not Yet Dead Dad, you know, if they feel like it. Mika steps up to the knife, but in the end can’t bring herself to do it BECAUSE IT IS HER DAD, so Carol finishes him off with the girls in the room. Fun new family you’ve got there, Carol!
Rick, Daryl, Hershel, and New Character Dr. S investigate one walker who was locked into his cell on account of being a sleepwalker, and they realize that, like Zombie Phineas, he hadn’t been bitten or injured in any other way. He just dropped dead. Dr. S explains that the corpse shows signs of having choked to death on his own blood, that must have died from a fast-acting flu — something that can spread quickly in tight quarters. “WELL, GREAT. JUST GREAT,” everyone says.
Rick goes outside and tries to wave Carl off from hugging him but TOO LATE. Rick then explains to Maggie, Carl and Michonne what happened in cell block D, including Zombie Phineas, and warns them to try to avoid getting too close to anyone who has been exposed, which now includes you, Carl. SIGH.
The council, which apparently is made up of Hersh, Glenn, Carol, Daryl and Sasha, meet to discuss this new flu nonsense, and decide that they should quarantine the exposed on death row. And that’s when they hear tell-tale coughing out in the hallway. It’s Karen, who is being helped back to her cell by Tyrese who explains that it’s no biggie, Karen just has a cold or something and she’s going to go lie down. NOPE, say The Council. NOT A GOOD IDEA, say The Council, explaining that Tyrese’s ladyfriend is going to have to enjoy a little alone time. Tyrese is not happy about it, but Karen understands, and offers that someone named David has been coughing, too.
Daryl heads out to bury the dead, stopping to check on Carol who is having a worried about her new daughters who had been around Phineas so much. Yeah, well, who hadn’t, right? Carol then finds Lizzie and Mika outside near the fence and informs them that they are going to bury Dad soon, before launching into a lecture about how they need to be stronger and kill their parents if the time comes, which ohmygod are they going to kill Carol forcing the girls to stab her in the throat to prevent her from becoming a walker ohmygod they are totally going to kill Carol ohmygod. In response to being called weak for NOT KILLING HER DADDY, Mika freaks out that someone has killed her favorite fence walker, “Nick.” HE WAS SPECIAL!
As Mika runs off in a snit, her sister Lizzie explains to Carol that Mika is “messed up” not weak.
While burying bodies, Daryl and Rick have an Important Conversation about whether or not Rick needs to put down the shovel and pick up his gun. Daryl gets it: Rick has earned some time off, but, you know, they could really use his help. Daryl can’t stop thinking about poor dead Beaver, and how if Rick had been with them on that Big Lots! run, you know, maybe.
And that’s when Maggie starts screaming from the tower about yet another threat: the fence is about to give way in one section thanks to walker build-up. Daryl, Rick, Sasha, Maggie and Glenn stab at the fence walkers with their crowbars for a while, but there are just too many and, I don’t know, but maybe they should have done some fence reinforcements before now.
And there’s one horrible moment where one walker is pressed up so hard against the fence that his eyeball pops out and I am not going to post the gif of that one because OH MY GOD. That’s when Sasha finds a pile of headless rats next to the fence, and everyone is like, “Well, that can’t possibly be good.” But no time for worrying about that — this fence is not going to keep itself up, and Rick, gazing back into the yard, comes up with a plan: Daryl, get the truck.
So with Daryl driving and Rick riding on the back of a trailer with a big box, they head outside the gates of the prison, drawing the attention of the walkers away from the fence. One-by-one, Rick grabs a piglet from the box, draws a knife over its haunches and drops it into a clump of walkers while on the other side, Sasha, Maggie and Glenn reinforce the fence with poles. Which, again, is maybe something they could have done earlier, while keeping the bacon around a while longer. Who knows.
Let’s look at these swimming pigs for a while and not think about those poor baby pigs being eaten by walkers.
Inside the prison, Sister wraps Michonne’s hurt ankle. While Michonne complains that Carl and Maggie shouldn’t have saved her, they could have been hurt, Sister explains that hurt is the cost of caring about people. It’s part of the package. While Baby Judith wails nearby to Michonne’s obvious irritation, Sister non sequiturs about how there are names for widows and orphans, but wonders why there isn’t a word for a parent who has lost a child because foreshadowing. Sister then asks Michonne to hold Baby Judith for a second, which Michonne reluctantly agrees to do before hugging the baby and bursting into tears because obviously Michonne has lost a kid, sad.
Carl busies himself making a cross for Phineas’ grave, which is where Carol finds him to ask him if he’s going to tattle to his daddy about what she’s been teaching the other kids. She’s not asking Carl to lie, she’s just asking him to lie through omission — which, for the record, parents universally consider lying.
Carol then heads outside where she finds the girls staring at the walkers again, and explains to them that they don’t get to feel bad about Nick the Walker dying, they have to feel bad about their Dad dying. Even though they didn’t kill him. Even though they should have. After Carol tucks a flower behind Mika’s ear, Mika takes Carol’s knife and slips it into her belt. And I don’t know, you guys, but this seems like a really unhealthy start to this whole family dynamic, yikes. I get it: SOPHIA!!! but still. Yikes.
Carl finds his father taking the pig pen apart and wonders if the pigs were making them sick. In response, Rick suggests that they might have been the ones making the pigs sick, and tells Carl that until they are sure they don’t have the flu, they need to stay away from Baby Judith. As Rick pours gasoline on the pig pen parts, Carl tattles on Carol but adds that he thinks Rick should allow her to continue teaching the kids how to defend themselves. Rick chews on this for a moment before telling Carl that he won’t stop Carol. Rick then retrieves Carl’s gun from a toolbox where he has been keeping stuff and things and gives it back to his son before taking out his own gun belt and putting it on, too. And then Rick sets the pig pen pieces on fire onto which he tosses his pig blood-stained shirt which, uh, yes please? More of that, please?
Meanwhile, inside the prison, Tyrese takes some flowers to Karen in the quarantine cell block. Yay, Karen and Tyrese! We should come up with a snappy nickname for them, Karese? Tyren? Except, OH NO! Her cell, it is empty! But for a trail of blood that leads out to the yard! Where he finds Karen’s and this David person’s bodies burnt to a crisp next to a gasoline can! YIKES! WHAT?! NO! WHO DID THIS? WHAT?!
The Walking Dead airs on AMC on Sundays at 8/9 p.m.
This post originally appeared on the Hearst site Tubular.