Late Night had a lot to say about EscalateGate

by Therese Odell, posted in watch this

TAKE OFF THE CONE OF SHAAAAAAAAME

@enzothebluestaffordshire

No more cone please:( #enzothebluestaffordshire #staffordshirebullterrier #talkingdog #fyp #fy

♬ original sound – enzothebluestaffordshire

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

Listen, if it’s true that talks between Taylor Swift and the NFL over the Super Bowl Halftime Show broke down because she made these demands: GOOD FOR HER. First of all, good for you for knowing your worth, Tay-Tay. Second of all, hasn’t she already made enough money for you, NFL?  And that’s just by showing up in the crowd at a few games — imagine the eyeballs she’d bring to your premiere event by performing at it. The fucking least you could do is allow her ownership of her own performance and maybe pay her for her time. She, as all the superstars who perform the Halftime Show these days, hardly need to perform for free for “exposure.”

Liam Hemsworth stayed off of social media for a year because people were so mad he replaced Henry Cavill as The Witcher and at some point, we might need to collectively agree that the internet just has not been a collective good. AND I SAY THAT AS AN INTERNET PERSON.

Basically, the Duffer Brothers are leaving Netflix because they want to make movies that will be seen in actual movie theaters.

What is most interesting to me about this story is that it reveals General Hospital is working on about a three-week turnaround period. Also, I wouldn’t be mad if they kept Miss Slezak around.

Nate Bargatze is trying to defend his stupid Oscars stunt by saying that “everybody at home loved it.” And maybe in his home, everybody loved it, but pretty much everyone else in their homes thought it was stupid and disrespectful.

Teresa Giudice is still in denial that The Real Housewives of New Jersey might move on without her. I’m not saying it will happen, but she seems to believe in her soul that she can’t possibly be fired, which is some top-tier delusion.

Groooooooossssssssss. They should all be ashamed.

Get well soon, Carnie Wilson!

Late night jumped all over the week’s biggest story, EscalateGate:

Stephen Colbert:

“I’m so glad neither of those two people were injured. Because I will enjoy showing that footage every night until May.”

Jimmy Kimmel:

“They act like they dropped him into shark-infested waters. It was an escalator. You know what another word for frozen escalator is? Stairs!

“I mean, I’m confused. Is he the strongest, healthiest, most physically powerful man-beast ever elected President, or a brittle bone grandma with osteoporosis? I don’t know. Which is it?”

Seth Meyers:

“Everywhere they look, MAGA sees a shadowy conspiracy, whether it’s escalators, climate change or elections they don’t win.”

“Reality doesn’t conform to their preexisting agendas. So they have to imagine a sinister fantasy in which scientists are making up a climate change hoax, where Democrats are stuffing ballot boxes with fraudulent votes and where saboteurs are orchestrating a secretive, far-reaching plot that ends with an escalator slightly lurching forward.”

The Daily Show‘s Jordan Kelpper:

“I like how he’s just looking around when it broke, thinking, ‘Do I walk up these fifteen stairs or do I just live here now?'”

It’s so embarrassing that our authoritarian leader is defeated by an escalator, you guys.

I don’t have anything insightful to say about the Department of Justice indicting James Comey and how the DoJ has clearly been completely compromised, and now that the President of the United States is coming after his perceived enemies on trumped-up charges, pun fully intended, charges that are so flimsy that Fox News thinks they are bullshit and will probably (hopefully) not stand up in a court of law, which clearly means we can with our full chests declare that we are in an authoritarian state except, I don’t know, I told you so? Also, release the Epstein files.

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Ghost Adventures returns on Discovery+ on October 15 and Discovery on October 29.
  • Red Alert debuts on Paramount+ on October 7.
  • The Alabama Solution will premiere on HBO on October 10.
  • The Great Escaper will debut on PBS on November 23.
  • O’ahu Shores premieres on Peacock on October 9.
  • War Dawgz debuts on BET+ on October 16.
  • The Braxtons returns on WeTV on October 10.
  • The Great American Baking Show: Celebrity Halloween premieres on Roku on October 1.
  • Murdoch Mysteries debuts on Ovation on October 7.
  • Star Wars: Visions returns on Disney+ on October 29.
  • Haha, You Clowns debuts on Adult Swim on October 19 and HBO Max on October 20.
  • Charlotte’s Web will premiere on HBO Max on October 2.
  • The Chosen Adventures debuts on Prime Video on October 17.
  • Physical: Asia debuts on Netflix soon.
  • Film Club will premiere on BBCi Player and BBC3 on October 7.

WATCH THIS

FRIDAY

The Savant: Jessica Chastain stars in this new series as an undercover investigator who infiltrates extremist online groups to try to prevent domestic terror attacks. More relevant than ever, I’m afraid. Premiere. Apple TV+

In fact, it was so relevant, Apple has pulled it from the schedule indefinitely, lest it offend those on the Right. Strange, dark times we’re living in right now, y’all.

All of You: Brett Goldstein and Imogen Poots star in this futuristic romance about two best friends who are in love with each other even though one of them has made a match with their “soulmate.” Apple TV+

M3GAN 2.0: Streaming premiere. Peacock

Celebrity Wheel of Fortune: Season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC

SATURDAY

The Blues Brothers: “I hate Illinois Nazis.” 8:30 p.m., Sundance TV

Seven: We all know what’s in the box. 7 p.m., HBO

SUNDAY

America’s Funniest Home Videos: Season premiere. 6 p.m., ABC

The Simpsons: In the season premiere, Lisa raids her mother’s 90’s fashion and becomes a member of the school’s super-elite fashion club. 7 p.m., ABC

Big Brother: Season finale. 7:30 p.m., CBS

Universal Basic Guys: Mark creates a hockey team for Darren. Season premiere. 7:30 p.m., Fox

Krapopolis: Tyrannis holds the world’s first democratic elections. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox

Bob’s Burgers: Bob and Linda remember when the restaurant first opened. Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., Fox

FRI. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Celebrity Wheel of Fortune
(new)		 20/20
CBS Big Brother
(new)		 Fire Country
(repeat)		 Blue Bloods
(new)
CW MLB Baseball
(live)
FOX Murder in a Small Town
(new)		 College Football
NBC Brilliant Minds
(repeat)		 Dateline

—

SAT. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30
ABC College Football
(live)		 News/Local
CBS An Evening with Elton John and Brandi Carlisle
(repeat)		 48 Hours News/Local
FOX MLB Baseball
(live)		 News/Local
NBC College Football
(live)		 News/
Local		 Saturday Night Live
(repeat)

—

SUN. 6:00 6:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC America’s Funniest Home Videos
(new)		 Guardians of the Galaxy
CBS NFL Football
(live)		 60 Minutes Big Brother
(new)		 Matlock
(repeat)
The CW Trivial Pursuit
(new)		 Sweet Home Alabama Local/News
FOX Krap-opolis
(repeat)		 The Simpsons
(repeat)		 The Simpsons
(new)		 Universal Basic Guys
(new)		 Krap-opolis
(new)		 Bob’s Burfers
(new)		 Local/News
NBC Sunday Night Football
(live)

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