Happy Monday, let’s scream into the void together.

by Therese Odell, posted in watch this

Before the screaming, PUT HER ON YOUR LAP:

This is Elly. She was wondering if that lap was taken, and if she could perhaps sit on it. Promises she won't take up too much space. 13/10 #SeniorPupSaturday(IG: elly___1206)

— WeRateDogs (@weratedogs.com) 2025-03-22T12:27:45.908Z

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

Conan O’Brien received the Mark Twain Prize at the Kennedy Center last night:

On Sunday, O’Brien specifically thanked Rubenstein and Rutter — drawing an extended round of applause — and also Kennedy Center staffers who, he said, were “worried about what the future might bring.”

He said the example of Mark Twain’s own life and career was particularly resonant at this moment in American history.

“Twain hated bullies…. He punched up, not down, and he deeply empathized with the weak,” O’Brien said. “Twain loved America, but he knew it was deeply flawed.”

I’m going to give you three guesses who said this and who he said it about, and you will never guess either correctly:

“Since I’ve got divorced and was raising the kids on my own, he’s come to every Christmas and Thanksgiving that I do with my kids. He comes to them, and so we just had him for Christmas, we had him for Thanksgiving, and he, the last Thanksgiving, he sent in — I posted it on my Instagram a little while ago — but he sent me an invoice.”

Did you guess Gavin Rossdale about Jack McBrayer? No? BECAUSE OF COURSE YOU DIDN’T but here we are. The way I need a Gavin Rossdale and Jack McBrayer holiday special. Or better yet: A Gavin Rossdale and Jack McBrayer holiday rom-com.

CBS is the newest network to leave their pricey Times Square real estate behind.

I don’t know, but it sounds like someone is trying to push George Stephanopoulos out at ABC News.

In news that makes perfect sense if you just think about it for a minute, studio movies that have a theatrical release do better on Netflix than their original features or acquired series.

Speaking of, so how badly did Electric State — possibly Netflix’s most expensive movie ever — do for the streamer? Really badly.

No spoilers on my part, but MAJOR spoilers in the article: Patrick Schwarzenegger has a really interesting interpretation of what happened with the Ratliff brothers in last night’s White Lotus episode.

JUSTICE FOR TANYA!

And here’s the history of the Mike White show that you’ll never be able to watch. Maybe.

Are you missing Severance already? This is a decent list of 7 shows that are similar in tone that you might want to check out.

The Love is Blind triangle continues to be a mess. Monica is claiming that Joey and Sara are dating and she first learned of it at the reunion from a question that was cut out of the special; Joey is claiming they’re “close” but nothing has progressed … yet.

That SNL50 special turned out to be a COVID superspreader event.

While we’re discussing Saturday Night Live: did you know that Gilda Radner, who famously was married to Gene Wilder, also dated Martin Short, and all of the Ghostbusters with the exception of Ernie Hudson (that we know of) and was briefly married to G.E. Smith?

And Tina Fey’s dad was a huge fan of Fred Armisen and would send him little sketches he had made of him. This is the sweetest thing you’ll read on the internet today.

The lost pilot of Family Guy has been found, if you Seth MacFarlane fans are interested.

WILL SMITH: DO YOUR LAWYERS KNOW YOU ARE CONSIDERING BEING THE SUBJECT OF THE NEXT NETFLIX COMEDY ROAST? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD REALLY TALK TO THEM ABOUT IT BEFORE SIGNING ANYTHING, SIR.

In another universe, Ray Romano is Joe Rogan.

Tina Fey is judging you, Gwenyth.

I give them 2 years.

This is interesting: on March 27, The Bold and the Beautiful will air an all-female episode, written and directed by star Heather Tom.

Director Carl Erik Rinsch has been arrested for fraud and money laundering after stealing $11 million from Netflix.

Danette Colbert was charged with murder in the death of Super Bowl reporter Adan Manzano.

Take care of yourself, Matt Owens:

Wishing Christina Applegate better health in her ongoing battle with MS.

Get all healed up soon, Katherine Ryan.

Congratulations to Katie Thurston and Jeff Arcuri!

Congratulations to Jacqueline MacInnes Wood (But girl, five babies in six years is A LOT).

PolUGHtics

YouTube’s play button doing the lord’s work

— Keith Edwards (@keithedwards.bsky.social) 2025-03-20T01:35:11.097Z

Oh good, the FCC is now threatening media companies that have DEI policies.

Not a single TV news outlet used the name “Gulf of Mexico” while covering the return of the astronauts. Pathetic.

GULF OF FEAR: This past week, when NASA astronauts returned to Earth, TV news networks avoided calling the body of water they splashed down in as the Gulf of Mexico. Instead, they performed linguistic gymnastics to stay out of Trump’s crosshairs.More in Status: http://www.status.news/p/gulf-of-me…

— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy.bsky.social) 2025-03-23T22:13:47.735Z

Meanwhile, Nikki Glaser is worried about doing political comedy anymore, and who can blame her?

“Like, you just are scared that you’re gonna get doxxed and death threats or who knows where this leads, like, detained. Honestly that’s not even like a joke. It’s like a real fear. So it’s unfortunate that that’s true, but I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t think about that sometimes and go, ‘Oh, god. Can I just say, I hope they all know, I can be up on the gallows and say I was just joking. I’m a comedian.’ I hope that that’s a defense.”

Over on Fox News, they’re giving up entirely on the Constitutional concept of “due process.” This is related to the deportation of planeloads of Venezuelans to El Salvador without giving them due process, i.e. a court hearing on their status and whether or not they should be removed at all.

And here we go — Fox News is now saying we should get rid of "due process" because it's too cumbersome.Brian Kilmeade: "But I also think it's not practical to think that we can do due process on 8 million people."www.mediamatters.org/brian-kilmea…

— Justin Baragona (@justinbaragona.bsky.social) 2025-03-24T14:31:11.436Z

Quick reminder:

The clause in the Fifth Amendment to the United States Constitution provides:

No person shall … be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.[4]

The clause in Section One of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution provides:

… nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law.

This same Fox Host is calling for the arrest of John Cusack and Jasmine Crockett for being critical of Elon Musk and Tesla:

And if that’s not batshit crazy enough, now Fox News is talking about the death penalty for vandalizing Teslas:

Fox News is now talking about people getting the death penalty for attacking Teslas

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) 2025-03-20T15:26:08.867Z

An update on President Tesla Salesman’s attack on the actual courts and law: One of the big firms he attacked, Paul Weiss, made the shocking decision to bend the knee, meeting with him in the Oval Office and agreeing to abandon DEI policies and offer $40 million of pro bono work on cases that support his causes.

And now President Convicted Felon is directing the Department of Justice to “to seek sanctions against attorneys and law firms who engage in frivolous, unreasonable, and vexatious litigation against the United States or in matters before executive departments and agencies of the United States.” That’s right: law firms that represent clients who are fighting the government are now being threatened. He wants to intimidate lawyers and big firms from opposing his administration in the courts, and if more firms behave the way Paul Weiss has chosen to do, there will be no one left to represent us against his authoritarian ambitions.

Other organizations that are capitulating to President Dictator on Day One’s whims: universities. Columbia University has agreed to “ban masks during protests on campus, hire 36 new campus police officers and empower them to ‘remove individuals from campus and/or arrest them when appropriate,’ appoint a senior vice provost with broad authority to oversee the department of Middle East, South Asian, and African Studies as well as the Center for Palestine Studies, among other things.”

Regardless of how you feel about the campus protests over Gaza, this is a dangerous precedent being set, attacking academic freedom, student expression and the First Amendment.

President Microdick is out here screaming about how The New York Times is the “enemy of the people” again for reporting that Elon Musk was going to be briefed by the Pentagon on war plans against China. He’s also big mad at CNN and MSNBC, again, for reporting the news.

Oh, and because there is no bottom to the incompetence of this administration, when they’re not inviting Elon Musk to their war planning sessions, they are literally texting reporters their war plans before enacting them.

This is all in addition to: using the IRS to identify immigrants for deportation who have been paying taxes; revoking security clearances for his political enemies; trying to get a judge disqualified from presiding over a case regarding those law firms; stripping the Department of Education of their powers over special needs education and student loans; halting funding for legal representation for migrant children; cut back Social Security services over the phone; called people who complain about not receiving their Social Security checks “fraudsters”; held back hundreds of millions of dollars from food banks; and erased war heroes from military websites, including Jackie Robinson, the Navajo Code Talkers, and one of the Iwo Jima heroes, for being “DEI” … you know, among many other things.

But don’t worry, President Petty Little Bitch is also worried about the important things: bitching about George Clooney and a portrait of him hanging in the Colorado Capitol placed there by a Republican governor.

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Andor returns on Disney+ on April 22.
  • Dying for Sex premieres on FX on April 4.
  • Doctor Who returns on April 12 on Disney+.
  • The Conners returns on March 26 on ABC.
  • Law and Order: Organized Crime will premiere on NBC on April 17 before making its move to Peacock.
  • The Diamond Heist will debut on Netflix on April 16.
  • Too Hot to Handle: Italy debuts on Netflix on May 9.
  • Karma premieres on Netflix on April 4.
  • The Reserve debuts on Netflix on May 15.

R.I.P.

George Foreman, Heavyweight boxing champion, grill mogul, Houston legend

Marty Callner, Director of music videos and comedy specials

Philip Rogers, Producer of Lifetime movies, the 60s sitcom Love on a Rooftop, and the film Shoot to Kill

Carole D’Andrea, Broadway and film actress in both versions of West Side Story

Larry Tamblyn, Lead singer of The Standells, brother of Russ Tamblyn, and uncle of Amber Tamblyn

Nadia Cassini, Actress and Italian sex symbol

Max Frankel, Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times journalist and Executive Editor

Joe McFadden, Music industry executive

Camilla Row, Wife of Hallmark star Brennan Elliott

WATCH THIS

The Bachelor: Who will Grant choose and then dump in 6 months? 7 p.m., ABC

Blue Velvet: Dive into David Lynch’s brilliant fever dream. 8 p.m., HBO 2

Road House: There’s only one Road House as far as I’m concerned, and it stars Houston’s own Patrick Swayze. 5:30 p.m., Sundance TV

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Nikki Glaser, Randall Park, Bozoma Saint John, Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jake Gyllenhaal, Roxane Gay
  • After Midnight: Jen Tullock, Michael Chernus, Sunita Mani
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Pedro Pascal, Ike Barinholtz, Trisha Yearwood
  • The Daily Show: Paul Rudd, host Jon Stewart
  • Watch What Happens Live: Debra Messing, Ellen Pompeo

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor
(new)
CBS The Neighbor-hood
(new)		 Poppa’s House
(new)		 NCIS
(new)		 NCIS: Origins
(new)
CW All American
(new)		 The Next Generation: Breaking Fentanyl’s Grip Local
FOX Extracted
(new)		 Rescue: HI-Surf
(new)		 News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)		 The Hunting Party
(new)

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