The Bachelor
February 24, 2025
We’re in Edinburgh now — well, really Edinburgh adjacent: they’re staying at some country club outside of the city so that Jesse Palmer can play golf.
No, literally.
Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if this entire Scottish jaunt is so that Jesse Palmer can go play at St. Andrews while they’re filming the dates.
After Grant and Jesse Palmer get their holes in, the ladies are reminded that this is the last week before the Dreaded Hometowns. Jesse Palmer also explains that there will be two one-on-one dates and one group date, but ZERO date roses, so everyone is gonna be sweating it out at the Rose Ceremony.
And before we open up that first date card, a reminder: T-Shirt Gun and Front Runner are the only two women who have not received one-on-one dates. We spend all of our time with T-Shirt Gun specifically stressing about wanting one of these one-on-one dates, so obviously:
“Front Runner: Our love is a fairy tale love. Grant.”
T-Shirt Gun:
But Front Runner obliviously bounces off to her date where she and Grant are whisked into a helicopter and flown to a castle. There, she and Grant are greeted by a valet who explains the castle will be theirs for the day.
To begin, they meet with a stylist who has allegedly dressed some royals, whose entire role here appears to be to point them toward some clothing racks. Some of the dresses Front Runner is offered are clearly meant to be unflattering and over the top, while Grant’s counterpart is a full formal kilt get-up, which suggests, “Oh, how silly, he’d never wear that!” but which I think he looks great in. In fact, and I know I can’t speak for all women, but I’ve personally never met a woman who would turn away a handsome man in a kilt.
Ultimately they choose a boring tux and hot pink evening gown and Grant presents Front Runner a necklace (unclear if it’s real or if she gets to keep it), before going downstairs where a chamber orchestra is playing “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” as a group of dancers perform a choreographed ballroom dance and NOW I GET IT, we’re doing a Bridgerton date, but we can’t call it that. Got it.
Anyway, they dance. Not very well.
That night at dinner, Front Runner opens up to Grant about how she’s not always the happy-go-lucky bubbly person he’s seen so far. Front Runner explains that when she was younger, someone close to her had a problem with addiction and ruined her childhood young adulthood.* Front Runner acknowledges that she had a loving family that she is deeply appreciative of, but that she also felt like she was all alone. As a result, she struggled with how to deal with her emotions and anger, but ultimately the experience made her stronger.
Grant, who has been open about his father’s struggle with addiction being the defining thing in his life, marvels at this and feels like he’s “looking at a reflection of [himself].” Grant goes on to tell her that while the physical attraction was always there for him, knowing this about her has attracted him emotionally to her, it made her more “real” for him.
Come for the boobs, stay for the trauma.
Front Runner goes on to talk about how “alone” she’s felt in life, like a “lone wolf” which blows Grant’s mind, because he has a “lone wolf” tattoo on his arm. And it’s exactly as Three Wolves Howling at the Moon t-shirt as you expect it to be:
Grant decides that their similar stories dealing with addictive family members and loneliness means that they could “heal each other.”
OR, and hear me out, it’s a recipe for FUCKING DISASTER.
Anyway, they kiss while fireworks go off over their castle.
Back at the golf resort, the next date card arrives: “Big Head; Llama Drama; Crying Girl; Hand Model and … T-Shirt Gun: I’m looking for my queen. Grant.”
That’s right: T-Shirt model, the only contestant who has not received a one-on-one date will never receive a one-on-one date, at least not before the Dreaded Hometowns. Instead, Miss Mormon is the lucky recipient of two one-on-one dates, which has to bode well for her chances, right?
The other women who understand social cues and empathy are like, “Oh damn that’s terrible.” But not Crying Girl, who is all, “LOL,” and then gets offended when the other women are like, “What the fuck is wrong with you, sociopath?”
As for the group date, it’s some sort of “Highland Fair” which involves a lot of cosplay, log hurling, musical chairs, and Crying Girl making a huge show of pouting and not participating.
Eventually, Grant steps away from the other women to take Crying Girl aside to check on her, infuriating the rest. Crying Girl admits that she’s struggling with the whole “dating the same guy with a bunch of other women” thing, i.e., the show, and she’s now seeing that it is more and more obvious that she’s not his first choice and that he’s making connections with other women.
Grant asks her if she even wants to be there anymore, and she protests that she isn’t asking for validation. She tells him that she’s worried about bringing him home, having her family “fall in love” with him, only to not be the one he chooses, and breaking their hearts. Which, interestingly, is also the most blatant demand for validation I’ve seen yet this season.
As she cries (because of course Crying Girl is crying throughout this), Grant feels bad that she’s in her head, and tells her that he’s looking for a partner he can trust and who can trust him through any circumstance. With that, he asks if she’s ready to move forward, and she agrees.
Meanwhile, the other women are positively SEETHING.
But by the time Grant is finished propping up Crying Girl’s ego, again, the fair has been rained out, and the cocktail portion of the evening is set to begin.
Grant arrives in a tense situation, and asks the women if they had fun. Hand Model, who had up to this point been Crying Girl’s biggest defender is like, “Wellllll…” but Grant forges on, reminding everyone that Dreaded Hometowns are next week and that family is hugely important to him.
Grant speaks with T-Shirt Gun first — AS HE SHOULD — and she’s like, “HEY. WHAT’S UP WITH NOT GETTING A ONE-ON-ONE, SIR?” Grant suggests that he didn’t need a one-on-one with her because his conversations with her previous to this week had been so good.
T-Shirt Gun, looking for something, anything to cling to, is like “GOOD ENOUGH.”
As for Big Head, she tells Grant that if he chooses her, he’ll be the first person in 6 years that she’s brought home and that her Mom will love him. And Llama Drama admits to Grant that this has been the first difficult week for her.
Meanwhile, out in the lobby, Hand Model and Big Head discuss how irritating it was that they didn’t get much time with Grant during the date portion of the day thanks to SOMEONE MONOPOLIZING HIS TIME WITH HER BOO-HOOING.
Crying Girl, who is sitting right there:
Crying Girl calls them out for talking shit about her in front of her, and they’re like, “Well, you ruined the day with your negativity, so.” Crying Girl declares that she’s not going to pretend to be happy about not receiving another one-on-one date, but they aren’t impressed with this. 1. What makes her think she deserved another one-on-one and 2. That didn’t give her the right to force Grant to spend the entire day with her.
And let me just pause here and note that while I agree largely in principle with the anger the other women are feeling towards Crying Girl — she was clearly being emotionally manipulative in an attempt to consume all of his time and that is immature and selfish — it’s unclear to me how long this conversation between the two of them actually was. On the show it lasted all of five minutes, but how long was it in real time? Because if it was under 20 or 30 minutes even, it doesn’t seem like that would be enough to ruin the entire date for everyone else. Or am I missing something?
ANYWAY. Crying Girl protests that she doesn’t have to explain herself to them, to which Hand Model reveals the real source of her anger: she advocated for Crying Girl when the other women were mad at her only to watch her act like a damsel in distress and grab him. Crying Girl protests that she didn’t grab him; he grabbed her, but come the fuck on. Grant wouldn’t have spent all that time alone with her if she hadn’t been throwing a tantrum.
Somehow the question of free will gets thrown into the mix, and Crying Girl decides to go find Grant to talk to him while Hand Model watches in disbelief, adding that it would be crazy if after spending all day talking to him she pulled him again.
“I guess I’m crazy and evvvvvvilllllll,” Crying Girl sings as she makes her way up the stairs while the producers high-five and pop champagne.
As for their conversation, Crying Girl isn’t crying for once, instead enjoying being in the catbird seat while everyone else is FREAKING OUT. She tells Grant that she’s sorry if she made it seem like she didn’t care about being there — if she didn’t care, she would have left a long time ago. Looking once again for Grant to offer her a smidge of reassurance about her place in all of this, she tells him again that she’s hesitant to introduce him to her family because she doesn’t want them to get attached to him “for nothing.”
And, look. I get what she’s doing here (and earlier): she wants Grant to say something along the lines that meeting her parents wouldn’t be “for nothing.” But I have to ask: whose parents fall in love at first sight with some guy their daughter brings home? Especially when daughter has only been dating said guy for like 6 weeks? On a TV show? While he’s dating several other women?
As for Hand Model, strategically she speaks with Grant last and asks him how he felt the date went. Grant claims that it went well, and that she in particular was a bright spot for him. Hand Model is like, “Well yeah because I’m not a negative succubus who makes herself out to be a damsel in distress so as to take time away from everyone else.”
Grant notes that it’s true that everyone has different personalities and that it’s his job to try to manage that. Hand Model is like, “And that’s great, except when Some People monopolize your time. Some People are only thinking about themselves, and Some People refuse to take accountability for the things they do.” Hand Model goes on to lament that she defended Some People last week but now she understands what Some People did to piss Other People off so much.
Grant is genuinely surprised by this conversation — because men rarely know when they are being emotionally manipulated, bless them — but notes that he trusts Hand Model and her judgment.
As for his date with Miss Mormon, they spend the day wandering around Edinburgh: eating haggis, drinking whisky (well … maybe), playing bagpipes, listening to poetry, petting the dog statue … you know, Edinburgh things. (One of my all-time favorite cities; 10/10; highly recommend.)
They also “meet” two women who are knitting in the middle of the street — you know, how women be doing — who teach them about “tying the knot,” a Celtic marriage ceremony that involves wrapping the couple’s hands with a scarf in such a way that it ends with the scarf being knotted and a symbol of their union.
That night, they have dinner in what appears to be yet another castle, where Miss Mormon comes clean about being Mormon. (So, I’m guessing she didn’t actually taste that whisky — they never show her actually drink it — which is a damn shame.) She goes on to tell Grant she’s nervous about hometowns because she’s never dated anyone outside of her faith. And she emphasizes that it’s important to her that God be a part of her marriage, and wants her children to grow up in a house that knows God loves them, and that their parents love them.
Miss Mormon then asks Grant about his relationship with God and religion, and he insists that while he hasn’t always made the best decisions, his relationship with God is a cornerstone to his living the right way. His approach to religion is a lot looser than the Mormons: he doesn’t think there are a bunch of rules and he doesn’t pray every day, but he does live in compassion and love.
And brace yourselves, but I’m going to praise the show for a change: GOOD FOR THEM FOR TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW. Having the same religion, values and politics — especially now — are such important parts of any relationship, that they must be discussed. That’s not to say that people can’t be of differing beliefs without it being a disaster, but you have to at least talk about it before going too deep in any relationship. More of this, whoever the next producers are, please.
Grant goes on to talk about how his childhood was difficult and lonely — that he often ate his dinner in his room alone — and that his children will be raised differently. He begins openly weeping, thinking about how he can’t wait to have a loving family of his own one day. It is a genuinely sweet and vulnerable exchange and GOD, I hope this man is in therapy.
Grant goes on to say that he feels safe with Miss Mormon, that she accepts him, and that he wants to be a better person for her. He adds that he feels like she’s someone he can build a life with and that he’s fallen for her.
They dance to some singer, I don’t know, and then Miss Mormon tells the producers that she’s fallen in love with Grant.
Finally, it’s Rose Ceremony time, and there’s not going to be a lot of chitchat for Crying Girl to hijack tonight, so LINE UP.
But first! Crying Girl asks to speak to Hand Model, where she tells her that she doesn’t know what will happen tonight or when she’ll see her again, but that she is grateful for everything Hand Model did for her and that she wishes her the best. Hand Model agrees that she wants things to be good between them and they hug it out.
Alright NOW line up:
Rose #1: Miss Mormon
Rose #2: Front Runner
Rose #3: Hand Model
Rose #4: T-Shirt Gun
Which means the women who must go away now are: Big Head, Llama Drama, and, yes, Crying Girl.
Adios, La Loca. You kept it tiresome interesting.
Here are the ladies who have been eliminated along with their very not good nicknames:
Here are the women along with their dumb nicknames who are still “dating” Grant:
The Bachelor airs on ABC on Mondays at 7/8 p.m. and streams on Hulu.
*I think I misunderstood this conversation and that this incident in her life took place with a friend or boyfriend, not a family member. Just wanted to clarify.