MONDAY
Ringo & Friends at the Ryman: We’re celebrating Ringo Starr through ~checks notes~ country music? Uhhhh … sure. 7 p.m., CBS
The Bachelor: Oh snap, it’s already Women Tell All time. 7 p.m., ABC
Confessions of Octomom: A look into the life of Natalie Suleman, mother of FOURTEEN HUMAN PEOPLE. Premiere. 9 p.m., Lifetime
TUESDAY
Last Take: Rust and the Story of Halyna: A look into the tragic events on the set of Rust. Hulu
The Women of World War II: A look into the women who built and flew the planes, cracked codes, and fought on the frontlines abroad and at home. In other words, a bunch of DEI nonsense that Trump doesn’t want you to watch. 8:30 p.m., PBS
White House Down: The movies where a badass action hero strives to save the President seem hilariously quaint to me these days. White House down? DAMN, DON’T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN’T KEEP. 9:35 p.m., Starz Encore
WEDNESDAY
Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney: Mulaney gets his own talk show, finally. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Netflix
Moana 2: Moana and Maui are united three years later in this sequel to a movie that came out 9 years ago. Premiere. Disney+
Temptation Island: This trash has moved to Netflix now. Series/season premiere. Netflix
THURSDAY
Top Chef: It’s set in Canada this season. Interesting timing. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo
Adolescence: A 13-year-old is accused of killing a classmate in this harrowing new limited drama series, filmed in one take. Series premiere. Netflix
Long Bright River: A Philly cop realizes she might be tied to a series of murders in a hard-hit neighborhood. Series premiere. Peacock
The Parenting: A couple decides to introduce each other to their respective parents in a rental house that is also occupied by a 400-year-old poltergeist in this new horror-comedy film. Max
The Wheel of Time: Season three premiere. Prime Video
Animal Control: Animal Control has no dogs available for adoption at the new kennel’s groundbreaking ceremony in the season finale. 8 p.m., Fox
Going Dutch: The Colonel forgets Captain Maggie’s birthday again. Season finale. 8:30 p.m., Fox
FRIDAY
Dope Thief: A pair of low-life criminals pose as DEA agents to rob a house only to have their scheme turn into life-or-death stakes in this new drama. Series premiere. Apple TV+
The Electric State: Millie Bobby Brown, Chris Pratt, and his mustache star in this new science fiction adventure comedy. Premiere. Netflix
Pulp Fiction: The movie equivalent of an adrenaline shot. 9:35 p.m., Showtime Showcase
SATURDAY
Dolly Parton: Here I Am: In honor of Dolly’s husband and the love of her life, this documentary that details the people and places who helped shape her career. 7 p.m., PBS
Face Off: In which two heterosexual men transition into becoming each other. 8 p.m., Paramount+ with Showtime
SUNDAY
The White Lotus: “Rick visits an old friend in Bangkok.” 👀 8 p.m., HBO
Dune: I’m mostly including this to ask what kind of sociopath begins watching Dune at 9:30 IN THE P.M.? 9:30 p.m., TNT