The Bachelor
February 17, 2025
The prom hangover is a rough one for the women: what started off as a fun evening devolved quickly when Crying Girl monopolized the entire evening, depriving other women of time with Grant and possibly costing some of them roses. And the other women are pissed. The women confront her about it (though I’m not sure that T-Shirt Girl has any room to open her mouth on the subject), and Crying Girl is like, “It was never about disrespecting anyone else, I just needed some clarity. And I hope we can all move on from this, kthnx shut up.”
Jesse Palmer arrives and informs the women that there will not be a date that day because they’re leaving the McMANsion and heading to Madrid where Grant is already waiting for them, olé.
After a bunch of travel filler and some unnecessary basketball with Jesse Palmer and Grant, the women arrive in Madrid and are just about to enjoy some almuerza and sangria when Grant shows up to interrupt their good time to take one of them on a date. The unlucky woman who has to abandon her sangria? Hand Model.
Grant and Hand Model go on the only category of Bachelor date that I would agree to: the “wandering around a city” date, and even then I would be disappointed at how overproduced it was. Oh look, here are some adorable children who want to play soccer with Grant so he can show off what great father material he is. Hey, here are some precious older people in traditional dress dancing in the middle of a square like they always do to make us fantasize about growing old with someone. Whaddya know, here’s an Instagram-ready storefront that posts “wishes” in its front window and they’d love for Grant and Hand Model to post their own wishes. And wow, here’s a cute little row boat and a pequeño lago to paddle around for a while, where Hand Model can talk about how she wants to be an equal partner in a relationship and that Grant shouldn’t have to shoulder all the responsibility. This blows this man’s mind for some reason. (That reason being, of course, that The Bachelor and its franchises are inherently reactionary and promote a patriarchal view of heterosexual relationships in which both parties must strictly adhere to traditional gender roles, BUT I DIGRESS.)
That night at dinner, these two have an exceptionally boring conversation where Grant tells Hand Model she reminds him of his mother (GIRL, RUN), and Hand Model admits that she’s an ice queen who has a difficult time talking about her feelings because big family? I don’t think these two things have anything to do with each other — as someone whose extended family is very large, I can assure you my relatives are plenty capable of expressing how they’re feeling even when no one asked.
Hand Model asks Grant about why his last relationship didn’t work out and he claims he worked too much. Hand Model seems to accept this answer and he offers her the date rose.
Back at the hotel, while Crying Girl bitches about knowing that Grant is on a date with someone else, and whines about not wanting to go on a group date despite the fact that she just came back from a one-on-one that involved a private jet, the women receive the next date card:
“Llama Drama; Miss Mormon; Crying Girl; Worry Stone; Rose is a Rose; PowerPoint Girl; T-Shirt Gun; Front runner: Love’s a wild ride. Love, Grant.”
This means Big Head receives the remaining one-on-one date, and Crying Girl pouts. “Oh, I’m so excited for her, I love sharing him with several other women. If I’m lucky, someone might kiss him in front of me,” she whines on camera.
Hey, real quick: remind me what Crying Girl does for a living?
Cool.
And then there’s PowerPoint Girl who I would have sent home on night one after she showed me the terrifying PowerPoint presentation with our AI-created babies, but has since grown on me. This poor woman explains that she’s having a rough day: there’s a pimple, she burnt her chest with her curling iron, and her spray tan is chipping: basically, if something can go wrong with her skin, it has on this day. But I appreciate that she’s laughing about it on camera and I hope she wins it all. She won’t, but she now has my vote.
As for the date, the women are brought to Chinchón, Spain, a charming ancient village about an hour outside of Madrid. There, the women are put on burros and ride them to the Plaza del Toros where the group is greeted by Caren la Matadora.
Many years ago I went to Madrid and attended a bullfight. I hated every minute of it. I thought it was cruel and awful and to this day I regret going.
That said … what I would give for a proper matadora costume:
Caren la Matadora teaches them the basics of bullfighting and then sends the women off to put on their own matadora costumes, which the women are very excited about, having seen Caren’s.
They shouldn’t have been.
Instead of a traje de luces, they are outfitted in a traje de Party City.
Oh, and instead of fighting bulls, they are tasked with riding a mechanical bull while bored Spaniards look on.
Obsessed with these aggressively bored Madrileños who somehow got tricked into serving as the audience for a #TheBachelor group date.
— Kristen Baldwin (@kristengbaldwin.bsky.social) 2025-02-18T01:38:26.661Z
For the most part, the women are all thrown off the bull after a few seconds: 4 seconds here, 7 seconds there. But then Llama Drama comes up with an interesting strategy: she loops her arms under the bull’s horns and face down/ass up, manages to hang on for an impressive 47 seconds. Unfortunately for Llama Drama, she’s not the final competitor, and T-Shirt Gun — who is — uses her method to hang on longer than Llama Drama and win a little extra time with Grant.
That night at the cocktail party, Grant spends a little time with PowerPoint Girl and presents her with a rock from Spain for her collection, which was a very thoughtful thing for production to come up with.
Rose is a Rose has a very frank discussion with Grant, noting that their relationship has fallen behind thanks to the whole mess with Crying Girl the week before. (You know, when Rose told Crying Girl that Grant told her that he was thinking about her when he was dancing with Crying Girl — which he did — and then Crying Girl cried to Grant about it who then confronted Rose and gaslit her by saying he said no such thing even though he is on tape doing so. That whole mess.)
Grant admires her maturity in having the conversation and tells her that he believes that they have room to grow. But based on this man’s face and body language during this conversation, I believe him as far as I can throw him.
During her conversation with Grant, T-Shirt Gun decides to stop waiting for a one-on-one date, and drop her sob story early. T-Shirt Gun explains that she and her sister were adopted by a family in a predominately white part of Southern Virginia, and as a result, she always felt out of place and endured abuse from her peers. She was never told she was beautiful, and didn’t feel worthy of friendship, much less a relationship. Grant tells her that what she is saying resonates with him, and he appreciates that she is opening up to him.
Meanwhile, out in the lobby, Crying Girl is bitching to the other women that while she sees potential with Grant, there are “so many unanswered questions” and she doesn’t feel like she has many answers. She goes on to whine that she needs more time with Grant to get to know him, and how is she expected to get engaged to someone she’s only been on one date with?
The other women — not one of whom went on a private jet date to Las Vegas with Grant — while Crying Girl is carrying on with this pity party:
So Front Runner takes it upon herself to take Crying Girl aside privately to have a “BITCH, PLEASE” talk.
When they are alone, Front Runner tells Crying Girl that after having gone on a lavish one-on-one date with Grant, it’s unseemly to be so vocal about how unsure she is about Grant. The other women think it’s rude and hurtful, in fact.
Crying Girl:
When they return to the group, the other ladies confirm to Crying Girl what Front Runner told her: it’s difficult to hear her being so negative about Grant when they’ve had so much less time with him. Crying Girl is like, “WELL FINE, IF YOU DON’T WANT MY OPINION, DON’T ASK,” to which Front Runner is all, “Except you share your opinion unprompted.” Crying Girl fires back, “I know you are, what am I?”
As the women continue to try to explain themselves to Crying Girl and why her behavior is so hurtful, Crying Girl does what Crying Girl does best: starts crying. She admits that she’s never felt this way for anyone in such a short amount of time and that she feels insane that she’s thinking about introducing Grant to her parents already. And everyone is like, “Yes, the entire premise of this show is insane. We all knew that when we signed up for it. Did you?”
And that’s when Grant returns, with Crying Girl mid-sob, and the other women exasperated once again.
Grant takes Crying Girl aside to check on her.
The other women:
Alone with Grant, Crying Girl tattles on Front Runner, saying that Front Runner demanded that Crying Girl “be honest” with Grant that she has doubts about the process — which she does — BUT IT’S NOT FAIR FOR PEOPLE TO BE QUESTIONING HER INTENTIONS. Of course, that’s not what happened, but whatever. Grant assures her that he sees wifey material in her and that she needs to focus on just them, not anyone else.
Grant then returns to the group and is like, “I WAS going to give this rose out tonight but now I’m not, hope y’all are happy.”
After he stomps out, Front Runner is like, “You know what? This is all my fault, and I am sorry that I ruined everyone’s chances for that date rose.” The other women are like, “I mean, it wasn’t YOUR fault, Front Runner.”
Crying Girl cries.
The next day, Big Head and Grant drive to their one-on-one date which he insists will be fun. But he’s not convincing because he doesn’t mean it: it’s another “jump off a high thing” date — this time a couple’s bungee jump off a bridge. No thank you please!
But Big Head is ALL ABOUT IT and is excited to be having this bonding experience with Grant. In fact, she’s calmer and braver than he is throughout the whole thing and helps him get through it. After, Grant yammers about love and leaps of faith, per the usual script.
And presumably, off-camera he demands that this be the LAST FUCKING THING HE JUMPS OFF ON THIS SHOW.
That night at dinner, Grant commends Big Head for giving him courage and helping him power through the jump. Big Head agrees that the day was fun, and she hopes he can get to know her and all of her quirks and weirdness.
Grant is like, “Well, I do have one issue: when we kiss, it feels like you’re holding back. And I understand that — you don’t want to get hurt.”
But Big Head is like, “Oh no, it’s not that, it’s because my mom’s watching.”
And honestly? Best answer ever. Adorable.
Grant is charmed by this answer and asks her what her mother’s advice was going into the show. Big Head replies that her Mom told her to find someone that cares about her and treats her with respect, to be herself, and that at the end of the day, make sure she is someone she can look in the mirror and be proud of.
MOMS! They’re the best!
Big Head goes on to explain that her mother was a single mom, and for so long she was embarrassed to not have a traditional family or a dad around. She hated missing out on father-daughter dances and for the longest time, she didn’t want to have a wedding, because she felt like she wouldn’t have someone to walk her down the aisle. But! Before I can start screaming at my television that HER MOTHER CAN WALK HER DOWN THE AISLE, Big Head notes that she came to understand that her mother taught her to be a strong person and that she has nothing to be ashamed of.
Grant asks her if she feels her relationships have been damaged by her situation with her parents, and she doesn’t really answer, instead saying that she has been hurt in the past by people who have told her that while she looks great on paper, they just weren’t able to connect with her. But, she adds, she’s willing to share so much with Grant because she feels like he’s worth it: she jumped off a bridge for him in the pouring rain, after all.
Grant calls her sincere and genuine and ready for a relationship and after being a big baby at the bungee jump where she was so brave, there’s no way he can send her home now he offers her the date rose which she accepts, the end.
And then it’s Rose Ceremony Time.
When Grant arrives, the first thing he does is ask to speak to Front Runner, wanting to hear her side of the whole Crying Girl mess. So Front Runner’s like, “Yeah, she’s out here telling anyone who will listen that she’s questioning the journey, as if she hasn’t been able to spend all this time with you.” Front Runner goes on to tell him that Crying Girl has had nothing positive to say about their date, only negativity and judgment.
Grant:
So Grant takes Crying Girl aside and is like, “Hey, I hear you’ve been talking shit.” Crying Girl tries to explain that she has some hesitations about everything because she’s taking this so seriously, and it would be weird if she didn’t have some questions about someone she barely knew who she was also considering marrying.
Grant hears her but admonishes her to come to him with any doubts or issues she might have in the future.
Crying Girl begins crying.
When Crying Girl returns to the group, Hand Model is there to support her, defending her behavior by saying that she was one of the early women to get a one-on-one and she just wants to hold on to that connection. And this is going to surprise you, but Crying Girl cries again.
Meanwhile, while Grant is visiting with Worry Stone and telling her how emotionally taxing this whole thing is for him, Rose is a Rose is getting more and more concerned about her chances with Grant.
Rose tells the other women that she doesn’t feel like she’s going to be there much longer and doesn’t know what is being said to Grant about her. Crying Girl is all, “What, do you think we’re talking about you to him? Because I don’t think anyone would have a reason to be talking about you to him you’re just not that important.”
Rose, who is still pissed off at Crying Girl for getting her in trouble with Grant last week is like, “MA’AM YOU FUCKED ME OVER IN A BIG FAT FUCKING WAY, SO YEAH, I’M A LITTLE CONCERNED. Your actions set me back, they sabotaged me. Did I say what I said? Yes, but I said it in confidence. I became the martyr of your feelings (great line), and I am now the one whose character is being questioned.”
Crying Girl is like, “I’m sorry, I guess, but not really,” while Rose cries that Crying Girl backstabbed her, and did her “dirty.”
Rose continues to work herself up until she’s in full sob, and announcing that she doesn’t want to be there anymore. With that, she goes to find Grant, sits him down, and tells him that it’s in her best interest to go home.
Grant:
And with that, Rose abdicates the rose she was never going to receive that night anyway, and gets into the airport van.
The rest of the women, however, still have to endure a Rose Ceremony and line up outside in their coats. (Was there not an indoor space they could have used?)
Rose #1: Miss Mormon
Rose #2: Front Runner
Rose #3: Llama Drama
Rose #4: T-Shirt Gun
Rose #5: Crying Girl
This means the women who must go away now are: PowerPoint Girl and Worry Stones. PowerPoint Girl is particularly blindsided after he gave her that Spanish rock, and wonders if she talked about rocks too much?
Oh, honey, no. If anything, you didn’t talk about rocks nearly enough.
Here are the ladies who have been eliminated along with their very not good nicknames:
Here are the women along with their dumb nicknames who are still “dating” Grant:
The Bachelor airs on ABC on Mondays at 7/8 p.m. and streams on Hulu.
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