Hello, it’s Thanksgiving week and time REALLY doesn’t mean anything during the holidays, so you’ll just have to trust me when I tell you that it’s Monday right now.
Also, it’s best not to keep beavers in your house. They’re hell on the furniture.
Political Crap
Because the current President of the United States is a toddler literally having a tantrum over his loss, President-elect Joe Biden still hasn’t been granted access to an orderly transition process: no funds, no access to classified documents, no background checks, no staffing. And that’s bad! For many reasons, including important national security ones!
But President-elect Biden, like a rational adult, is ignoring President Two-Year-Old’s meltdown and proceeding as though everything is fine and normal. Over the past few days, President-elect Biden has been announcing his cabinet picks, and God bless him, I’ve never heard of ANY of these people! No one appears to be related to him, I don’t recognize any of these people as being regular contributors to MSNBC, CNN, or Fox News, they aren’t lobbyists, there’s nary a pillow salesman in sight. And get this: he seems to be choosing qualified people who have actual experience and understand how government works instead of looking like they “came from central casting.” LUNACY.
Biden, asked by a pool reporter why he chose to name his national security picks first, replies: “Because it's national security.”
— Geoff Bennett (@GeoffRBennett) November 23, 2020
Just imagine … in the not-so-distant future, we might all be able to go a day or two or even three not worrying about what is happening in Washington D.C. or even THINKING about the president.
But, as I said, the tantrum continues, though time is running short for the buffoonery.
- Georgia certified their results on Friday, but Team Dumbass is demanding another recount because I suppose President So Much Winning! just loves losing over and over again;
- The federal court in Pennsylvania dispatched Rudy Giuliani’s lawsuit with a blistering opinion: “In the United States of America, this cannot justify the disenfranchisement of a single voter, let alone all the voters of its sixth most populated state. Our people, laws, and institutions demand more,” and “This Court has been unable to find any case in which a plaintiff has sought such a drastic remedy in the contest of an election, in terms of the sheer volume of votes asked to be invalidated,” he said, “One might expect that when seeking such a startling outcome, a plaintiff would come formidably armed with compelling legal arguments and factual proof of rampant corruption … That has not happened.”
- Chris Christie called President Kraken’s legal team “a national embarrassment:”
“Yes,” Chris Christie tells @GStephanopoulos when asked if it’s time for President Trump to stop challenging the 2020 election results, adding that the president’s legal team has been a “national embarrassment.” https://t.co/9HKDetYpa5 pic.twitter.com/zuGivUyqYo
— This Week (@ThisWeekABC) November 22, 2020
- And a member of that team, Qanon conspiracy nutjob Sidney Powell, who suggested that Brian Kemp and Bernie Sanders and Hugo Chavez all conspired to steal the election from President Windbag, was summarily fired, proving to be too crazy for even President Tinfoil MAGA Hat.
- Carl Bernstein called out 21 Republican senators who have privately said that this whole situation is a fucking circus:
The 21 GOP Senators who have privately expressed their disdain for Trump are: Portman, Alexander, Sasse, Blunt, Collins, Murkowski, Cornyn, Thune, Romney, Braun, Young, Tim Scott, Rick Scott, Rubio, Grassley, Burr, Toomey, McSally, Moran, Roberts, Shelby. (2/3)
— Carl Bernstein (@carlbernstein) November 23, 2020
- It should be noted that of these senators, Romney and Sasse have actually made public statements saying that this nonsense is just that, and Lisa Murkowski put out a firm statement yesterday, ahead of Bernstein’s tweet:
— Sen. Lisa Murkowski (@lisamurkowski) November 22, 2020
- Michigan and Pennsylvania are set to certify their elections today — and despite all the dramaz involving state legislators and canvassers, the certifications are most likely to happen. And when they are, President Attempted Coup’s little scheme will all but be dead.
And here’s how I know this farce of a coup is pretty much over: we are at the part of the story where dumbasses start calling for Biden to pardon President Crime Spree for “unity” or some such bullshit.
Opinion | Michael Conway: If President-elect Joe Biden hopes to fulfill his pledge to unify the nation, he should do the unthinkable and pardon Donald Trump. –@NBCNewsTHINKhttps://t.co/c4amMCtAO3
— MSNBC (@MSNBC) November 17, 2020
No. Absolutely not. Prosecute him and his whole grifter family and send them all directly to jail, goddammit.
Also? This is just gross. Not surprising, unfortunately, but definitely gross.
Silver Spoons actor Rick Schroder, who was arrested for domestic violence in 2019, and the My Pillow CEO Michael Lindell, who was arrested for domestic violence in 2008, helped pay Kyle Rittenhouse’s $2 million bond. Because toxic masculinity… https://t.co/oiS9mlYVto
— Shannon Watts (@shannonrwatts) November 21, 2020
Finally, if you’ve had enough of all that, here’s Brian Williams being a shady bitch to wash it all away:
Love that people are just now noticing how good Brian Williams is at reaming Trump. He's been really good at it for a really long time but this is some next level shit. 😂pic.twitter.com/hBRIeF1TYH
— Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) November 21, 2020
Going Viral
Dummy Jr. has tested positive for the virus. Thoughts and prayers.
Guess we know cocaine doesn’t help prevent the virus now https://t.co/n1e1B4XOI8
— Kels 🧜🏼♀️ (@KellySlayAnn) November 20, 2020
Don Jr: Hey dad it’s me, looks like I got “the rona” too haha, guess that’s just another thing we’ve got in common huh?
Other end of the phone: [dial tone, there’s nobody there and there never was]
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) November 20, 2020
Georgia senator Kelly Loeffler is quarantining after testing positive.
California Governor Gavin Newsom is quarantining after his kids were exposed to someone with COVID-19.
Bad Bunny has tested positive for the virus and had to drop out of last night’s AMAs.
R&B singer Jeremih‘s condition is improving.
Andrew Cuomo has RECEIVED AN EMMY for his COVID-19 briefings because we live in dumb times.
Fox Corp’s offices won’t reopen until April.
The Fox NFL Sunday cast had to be replaced on yesterday’s broadcast because of COVID concerns.
Interesting fact: implementing COVID safety protocols cost TV shows anywhere between $200,000 – $500,000 PER EPISODE. And every day a production is shut down costs about $100,000. Damn.
All Other TV News
The Queen’s Gambit is the most-watched limited series on Netflix and chessboard sales are skyrocketing.
Alison Brie is pissing all over our hope for a G.L.O.W. movie.
It looks like the end of the Trump era will also be the end of the Jeff Zucker era at CNN. Interesting.
The Justice Department is coming for Jeff Lowe, the guy who took over from Joe Exotic. Finally, Trump’s Justice Department has done something I can get behind.
A Wipeout contestant died shortly after completing an obstacle course and requiring medical attention. That’s … not great. I’m sure this show is lawyered up to the neck, but lawsuits are coming …
The guy in jeans is The Mandalorian‘s Starbuck’s cup.
DO NOT LIE ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS YOU GODDAMND GHOULS
Actors are often (not always but often) treated like garbage and taken advantage of because “we’re just lucky to have a job” and “we’re gonna take the job anyway” etc etc. It’s very fucked up. https://t.co/z8YbVScAW3
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) November 21, 2020
Cancellations
- Black Lightning will be canceled after this upcoming fourth season at The CW.
In Development
- The Last of Us, a drama based on the video game, has been ordered to series at HBO. Craig Mazin (Chernobyl) and Carolyn Strauss (Chernobyl & Game of Thrones) will executive produce, along with the game creator Neil Druckmann.
Synopsis: “Twenty years after modern civilization has been destroyed Joel, a hardened survivor, is hired to smuggle Ellie, a 14-year-old girl, out of an oppressive quarantine zone. What starts as a small job soon becomes a brutal, heartbreaking journey, as they both must traverse across the U.S. and depend on each other for survival.” - A documentary about Nicki Minaj is being produced by Nicki Minaj at HBO.
- Frozen Land, “an eight-part limited series exploring the story of real-life Russian serial killer Dmitry Lebed,” is being developed for streamer Topic.
- Kimberly Latrice Jones has signed an overall deal with Warner Brother Television.
Casting News
- Robert Englund, Jamie Campbell Bower, Eduardo Franco, Joseph Quinn, Tom Wlaschiha, Sherman Augustus, Mason Dye, and Nikola Djuricko are joining the cast of Stranger Things on Netflix.
- Paul James has been added to the cast of I Love This for You on Showtime.
Mark Your Calendar
NBC has announced their January premiere dates (more return dates at the link):
- The Wall: Jan. 4
- Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist: Jan. 5
- Mr. Mayor: Jan. 7
- Coming 2 America will premiere on Amazon on March 5.
- Walking with Elephants will air on Animal Planet on December 15.
- Elliot: The Littlest Reindeer will debut on Crackle on December 1.
- Kindred Spirits returns on Travel Channel on January 2.
- Time Person of the Year will air on NBC on January 10.
- Supermarket Stakeout will air on Food Network on December 29.
- Dr. Pimple Popper: Season’s Squeezings and My Feet Are Killing Me: Under the Mistletoes will air on TLC on December 21.
R.I.P.
Herbert F. Solow, TV production executive who helped create Star Trek and Mission: Impossible
Charlie Hauck, Writer-producer who worked on Maude, Home Improvement, Fraiser, and One Day a Time among others
Lance Heflin, Executive producer of America’s Most Wanted
Art Wolff, TV director
Robert Garland, Screenwriter who wrote That Girl and Sanford and Son and The Electric Horseman and No Way Out
Valentina Pedicini, Italian documentary filmmaker
WATCH THIS
Black Narcissus: A group of nuns attempts to establish a mission in a remote location in the Himalayas which contains many dark secrets. Series premiere. 7 p.m., FX
Shawn Mendes: In Wonder: A documentary film about the Canadian superstar and his “normal” life. Netflix
Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life: The Netflix postscript of the popular show comes to The CW. 7 p.m., The CW
Dancing with the Stars: The disco ball goes home tonight. Season finale. 7 p.m., ABC
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Emma Stone, Ben Falcone, Josh Groban
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Mandy Moore, Jeff Tweedy
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Glenn Close, Kane Brown featuring Swae Lee & Khalid
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Michael J. Fox
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Amy Adams, Jack Huston, Jewel
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Kim Zolciak-Biermann, Capt. Lee Rosbach
| MON. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Dancing With the Stars (new) |
The Good Doctor (new) |
| CBS | The Neighborhood (new) |
Bob ♥ Abishola (new) |
All Rise (new) |
Bull (new) |
| CW | Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life | Local |
| FOX | L.A.’s Finest (new) |
Filthy Rich (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | The Voice (new) |
Weakest Link (new) |