According to the Comey memos, in an attempt to discredit the Steele Dossier — specifically the part that claimed he had Russian prostitutes in his room, peeing on the bed the Obamas had slept in — The Piss-Play-Enthusiast-in-Chief told James Comey that he didn’t spend the night in Moscow on his trip there for the Miss Universe Pageant. HEY GUESS WHAT, HE LIED. The pee pee tape is real.
I will also pause to note that President Liar’s claim that he didn’t spend the night in Moscow had already been discredited by his bodyguard Keith Schiller when he testified before Congress in November. According to sources, Schiller told Congress that at a business meeting, a “Russian participant” offered to send five women to Trump’s Moscow Ritz-Carlton hotel room, but Schiller thought it was “a joke.”
That night, two sources said, Schiller said he discussed the conversation with Trump as Trump was walking back to his hotel room, and Schiller said the two men laughed about it as Trump went to bed alone. Schiller testified that he stood outside Trump’s hotel room for a time and then went to bed.
One source noted that Schiller testified he eventually left Trump’s hotel room door and could not say for sure what happened during the remainder of the night.
THE PEE PEE TAPE IS REAL.
As predicted, the Sean Hannity story is starting to become interesting. Still no evidence that Hannity did anything illegal here, but he certainly was in bed with people who were doing illegal things — and he indirectly benefitted. Stay tuned.
Allison Mack, that culty Smallville actress who was just arrested for being culty, tried to recruit Emma Watson and Kelly Clarkson to her sex cult. Somehow, she wasn’t successful.
- NBC’s upfronts are on Monday, May 14 at 9:30 a.m.
- Fox’s Monday, May 14 at 3 p.m.
- ABC’s will be Tuesday, May 15 at 3 p.m.
- CBS’s Wednesday, May 16 at 3 p.m.
- The CW on Thursday, May 17 at 10 a.m.
Here are all the FAKE NEWS outlets that won Peabody Awards.
Aaron Sorkin is threatening to make that West Wing reboot — just as soon as he comes up with the right idea for it.
After some 37 years, Bruce Campbell is retired from Ash. Sigh.
Here are some long-distance shots of Game of Thrones sets if that is a thing you are interested in.
A little-needed love for Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which is currently in the cancelation danger zone.
Alright, one last Jane the Virgin theory that hadn’t been mentioned: amnesia! And here are a few more Westworld notes and theories, some which I don’t think were mentioned in the links I posted yesterday. Hosts in the outside world? MAYBE.
Get well soon, Leslie Charleston!
Ratings
- The Crossing is probably doomed on ABC.
- Taken is essentially canceled at NBC.
- Lethal Weapon is a toss-up thanks to that report about Clayne Crawford being an asshole.
- Ransom is beneath the Cancel Bear’s consideration, apparently.
In Development
- Netflix is working on a Fast and the Furious animated series, which is apt since the franchise is nothing but a ridiculous cartoon.
- Shrill is being adapted into a Hulu series that will star Aidy Bryant — WAIT DOES THAT MEAN AIDY BRYANT IS LEAVING SNL PLEASE NO DON’T GO …
- Gretchen Carlson has signed a deal to make original documentaries for A&E.
- Crackle is developing a series based on Heart of Darkness.
- Wayne, an action series by some Deadpool writers, is coming to YouTube Red.
- Living the Dream is in development over at Comedy Central.
- Sky has ordered a documentary on Clem Burke, the drummer for Blondie.
Casting News
- Martha Stewart is going to be a recurring guest judge on Chopped.
- Tony Plana is joining the cast of Mayans MC.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Oscars will air on February 24, nominations will be announced January 22.
- The Rain debuts on Netflix on May 4.
- Harlots returns on Hulu on June 11.
- 90 Days Fiancé returns on TLC on May 20.
- The Last Defense debuts on ABC on June 12.
- Citizen Rose returns on E! on May 17.
- iHeartRadio Wango Tango premieres on Freeform on June 3.
- Street Outlaws returns on Discovery on May 28.
- Reelz revealed a bunch of new shows and their air dates.
R.I.P.
Bob Dorough, “Schoolhouse Rock!” performer and writer
Joan Konner, TV Producer
Charles Bohl, Screenwriter and producer
Philip D’Antoni, Producer
WATCH THIS
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: Let the reunion begin. 8 p.m., Bravo
The 100: Clarke’s space friends find a beacon of hope in the season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
Genius: Antonio Banderas is Picasso. Antonio Banderas looks nothing like Picasso. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Nat Geo
First Civilizations: An exploration of early civilizations — the premiere episode examines how “war destroys lives but creates civilizations.” 8 p.m., PBS
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Kevin James, Questlove, Sigrid Late Night with Seth Meyers: Ice-T, Sarah Kendzior, Sarah Tomek The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Hank Azaria, Ronan Farrow, Grace VanderWaal The Late Late Show with James Corden: Anthony Mackie, Judy Greer, Snow Patrol Jimmy Kimmel Live: Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hiddleston, Danai Gurira, Dave Bautista, Bleachers Conan: Zach Braff, Alia Shawkat, Andrew W.K. The Daily Show: Jonah Goldberg The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Justin Simien Watch What Happens Live: Kelly Ripa, Mark Consuelos
| TUES. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Roseanne (new) |
The Middle (new) |
black-ish (new) |
Splitting Up Together (new) |
For the People (new) |
| CBS | NCIS (new) |
Bull (new) |
NCIS: New Orleans (new) |
| CW | The Flash (new) |
Black Lightning (new) |
Local |
| FOX | Lethal Weapon (new) |
L.A. to Vegas (new) |
New Girl (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | The Voice (new) |
Rise (new) |
Chicago Med (new) |