The Access Hollywood tape that should have tanked his chance at the Presidency but, somehow, did not — WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, AMERICA? — has come back to haunt Trump again. According to The New York Times, in the raid on Michael Cohen’s office Monday, the FBI sought all documents related to the infamous tape in which President Sexual Assaulter brags to Billy Bush that when one is famous, “they let you do it. You can do anything … Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
From the article:
It’s unclear what role, if any, Cohen played in regards to the tape, which was made public a month before the election and nearly derailed Trump’s candidacy. But, as the Times notes, the fact that agents were looking for documents related to the tape exposed a “new front” in the investigation into Cohen by the United States attorney’s office in Manhattan.
This development has some wondering what Trump saying gross things to a lesser Bush, or having an affair with a porn star has to do with Russia interfering in our election, to which I say the following: pay attention, dummies.
First of all, the raid on Michael Cohen’s office was not done by Mueller as a part of the Russia investigation. Instead, in his investigation, he came upon something that smelled an awful lot like a crime that was unrelated to Russia, and he brought it to Rod Rosenstein’s attention. Rod Rosenstein then gave it to the FBI’s Southern District of New York office and they opened an investigation into bank fraud and violations of campaign finance laws, in part related to the Stormy Daniels’ payoff.
Now, it’s most likely that the FBI is asking for the Access Hollywood information to create a timeline for the Stormy Daniels’ payment and its relationship to the campaign. And I am going to prepare myself for that being the simplest and most realistic answer.
That said, there is another intriguing possibility:
ZOMGBBQPONIES COULD COHEN HAVE CONTACTED SOMEONE AFTER “GRAB ‘EM BY THE PUSSY” LEAKED AND HAD THEM FACILITATE THE PODESTA EMAIL DUMP THAT WIKILEAKS — A.K.A. RUSSIA — RELEASED 30 MINUTES LATER AND COULD THIS BE THE THING THAT PROVES THE CAMPAIGN WAS COLLUDING TO STEAL THE ELECTION?
I swear to God, if a porn star and the Access Hollywood tape are the elements that end up bringing this sexually assaulting misogynistic pig down once and for all … well, I don’t know what I’ll do. Maybe become a Buddhist, because if that doesn’t prove that karma is an actual force in the universe, nothing does.
This is just a very sound argument that Kevin Jonas is responsible for Trump being President today.
Laura Ingraham has lost Slimfast, IBM, and Mitsubishi. She’s lost 24 advertisers so far. Still, she’s trying to position herself as a fighter for free speech, framing boycotting as a repression of free speech instead of another form of free speech. LOL OK. Good luck with that.
Today’s Game of Thrones spoiler.
Some small hints about what is to come for the characters on Westworld. (These barely qualify as spoilers, btw.)
Bravo is going to start airing original programming seven nights a week, see below:
Renewals
- Bravo has renewed 20 shows: All of the Real Housewives franchises, Vanderpump Rules, Married to Medicine, Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles, Don’t Be Tardy, Flipping Out, Shahs of Sunset, Southern Charm Savannah, Million Dollar Listing New York, Imposters, Southern Charm, Below Deck Mediterranean, Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen and Top Chef.
- Barry and Silicon Valley have been renewed by HBO
- Loudermilk has been renewed by Audience Network.
- Granchester has been renewed by PBS & ITV.
- CNN renewed Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown; United Shades of America with W. Kamau Bell; This is Life with Lisa Ling; The History of Comedy; and Declassified: Untold Stories of American Spies.
- Fuse renewed 10 series, but the only one mentioned in this article is Hollywood Puppet Show.
In Development
- Treadstone; Erase; Briarpatch; and Dare Me have been ordered as pilots by USA. Treadstone is a Bourne Identity prequel from the creator of Heroes, Erase will star Dennis Leary.
- Boomerang is being turned into a series at BET.
- The Grand Hustle has been ordered at BET.
- Chasing Life with Sanjay Gupta, Tricky Dick, American Dynasties: The Bushes, American Style (working title), Once in a Great City: Detroit 1962-64 and The Redemption Project have all been ordered by CNN.
- Sticker Shock has been ordered by Discovery.
- T.O.T.S. has been greenlit at Disney.
- Injection is being developed into a TV series.
- Fuse media has ordered 7 new shows, but the only ones mentioned in this piece are Side Gig, Hip-Hop Houdini and The 212.
- Baby Doll Records, Boss Cheer, and Dirt have all been ordered by digital network, Brat.
Casting News
- Wayne Brady Peyton List, Graham McTavish, and Waleed Zuaiter are joining Colony. Wait, that Wayne Brady?
Mark Your Calendars
- Outcast — which is an EXCELLENT horror series for those of you who are fans of the genre — returns on Cinemax on July 20. It’s from the creator of The Walking Dead, and it is far superior.
- ABC released their season finale dates.
- Pose will debut on FX on June 3.
- The Break with Michelle Wolf premieres on Netflix on May 27.
- Picnic at Hanging Rock will launch on May 25.
- Terrence Howard’s Fright Club will air on Fox on May 24.
- Alaskan Bush People returns on Discovery on May 4.
- Misfit Garage returns on Discovery on May 2.
- Bobby Kennedy for President will launch on Netflix on April 27.
- Gotti: Godfather & Son will air on A&E on June 9.
- Wood Work premieres on DIY on May 9.
- Driven: Oklahoma State Cowboys premieres on Golf Channel on May 7.
WATCH THIS
Supernatural: Things don’t go the way Lucifer plans. 7 p.m., The CW
Atlanta: Just because it is the best show currently airing. 9 p.m., FX
RuPaul’s Drag Race: The queens design global-warming looks for “the last ball ever” in the most depressing episode of “Drag Race” ever. 7 p.m., VH1
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jack White, Grace Jones, Tinashe featuring Offset Late Night with Seth Meyers: Aubrey Plaza, Ari Melber, Jason Reynolds, Gil Sharone The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Diane Sawyer, Joshua Jackson, John Prine featuring Sturgill Simpson & Brandi Carlile The Late Late Show with James Corden: Shaquille O’Neal, Victoria Beckham, Jamiroquai Jimmy Kimmel Live: Shia LaBeouf, Sandra Oh, First Aid Kit Conan: Ike Barinholtz, JC Currais The Daily Show: Karlie Kloss The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Bari A. Williams Watch What Happens Live: Anna Faris, Snoop Dogg
| THURS | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Grey’s Anatomy (new) |
Station 19 (new) |
Scandal (new) |
| CBS | The Big Bang Theory (new) |
Young Sheldon (new) |
Mom (new) |
Life in Pieces (new) |
S.W.A.T. (new) |
| CW | Supernatural (new) |
Arrow (new) |
News/Local |
| FOX | Gotham (new) |
Showtime at the Apollo (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Superstore (new) |
A.P. Bio (new) |
Will & Grace (repeat) |
Champions (new) |
Chicago Fire (new) |