Slap the belly.
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Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News
Stephen Colbert filmed his upcoming Elsbeth role the same week he found out he’d been canceled.
Speaking of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, which producer’s dunderheaded idea was this?
Dan Rather is also worried about Bari Weiss taking over CBS News, and with good reason.
The Emmys have responded to Seth Rogen’s claim that he’s been blacklisted from being a presenter, and … they’re not exactly denying the charge: “The Television Academy congratulates Mr. Rogen on his multiple Emmy wins this past September, and we look forward to seeing him in the audience at many ceremonies to come.”
Elisabeth Hasselbeck is literally crying about her Rosie O’Donnell feud from nearly 20 years ago. Get over it, lady.
Someone is becoming desperate to not be fired from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
The Real Housewives of Potomac‘s Dr. Wendy Osefo and her husband, Eddie, have been arrested for fraud after claiming they had been burglarized and then being seen wearing some of the jewelry they claimed was stolen. They also allegedly returned to stores many of the items they claimed were stolen for refunds, after claiming a $450,000 property loss.
Diesel Brothers‘ David “Heavy D” Sparks was arrested after being in contempt of court after having violated, obviously enough, the Clean Air Act.
Human Rights Watch does not want Aziz Ansari’s dirty Saudi money.
LOL, Drake’s whiny lawsuit over “Not Like Us” has been thrown out. Cry more.
President Department of War didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize because OF COURSE HE DIDN’T WIN THE FUCKING NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. But I need you to look at these two headlines about it because what the fuck, TMZ?
BoingBoing: “Authoritarian Trump loses peace prize to antifascist”
TMZ: “President Trump Snubbed By Nobel Committee … Peace Prize Handed to Venezuelan Politician”
He wasn’t “snubbed,” he didn’t earn it. And he didn’t earn it by, OH I DON’T KNOW, waging war on his own citizens, deporting people without due process to countries they’ve never been to, bombing fishing boats, silencing dissent, prosecuting his “enemies” on specious grounds, instigating a goddamned insurrection, and, perhaps my favorite, renaming “The Department of Defense” “The Department of War.” This man is out here with a straight fucking face demanding the Nobel Peace Prize. BE SO SERIOUS.
Or, as the Nobel committee chair put it more diplomatically:
View on Threads
Renewals
- MasterChef has been renewed for two more seasons on Fox, bringing it up to season 17.
- Star Trek: Starfleet Academy has been renewed for a second season ahead of its series premiere.
Cancellations
- Countdown has been canceled after one season on Prime Video.
- Butterfly has been canceled after one season on Prime Video.
In Development
- Embassy, a geo-political thriller starring Anna Kendrick and J.K. Simmons, is in the works and being shopped around.
- Genuine Fraud, starring Rain Spencer, has been ordered at Prime Video.
- Aught to Be, a romantic comedy series, is in development at Prime Video.
Casting News
- Christopher Briney has joined Hacks on HBO Max.
- Jessica Madsen and Brett Gelman have joined Wild Things on Apple TV+.
- Kelly McCreary is returning to Grey’s Anatomy on ABC.
- Raúl Castillo has joined The Walking Dead: Dead City on AMC.
Mark Your Calendar
- Cross will return on Prime Video on February 11.
- Aileen: Queen of the Serial Killers debuts on Netflix on October 30.
- Solar Opposites returns on Hulu on October 13.
- Southern Charm returns on Bravo on November 19.
- Ready to Love returns on OWN on November 7.
- Genndy Tartakovsky’s Primal returns on Adult Swim in January.
- The Elixir premieres on Netflix on October 23.
R.I.P.
John Lodge, Singer, bassist, and songwriter for the Moody Blues
Michael Barnes, British TV documentarian
Mike Greenwell, Former Red Sox player
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
Vicious: Dakota Fanning is terrorized by a box(?) delivered to her by a strange late-night visitor. The trailer is a little silly, but the truth is, I’ll watch pretty much anything Kathryn Hunter is in. Paramount+
The Woman in Cabin 10: Keira Knightley stars as a travel writer who uncovers a dark secret while on a luxury yacht. Premiere. Netflix
How to Train Your Dragon: Streaming premiere. Peacock
The Last Frontier: When a prison transport plane crashes in the remote wilderness of Alaska, the lone U.S. marshal in the area must protect his town and investigate whether the crash was an accident at all. Series premiere. Apple TV+
The Alabama Solution: Incarcerated men expose a huge cover-up in one of the country’s deadliest prisons in this documentary. HBO Max
John Candy: I Like Me: This documentary explores the life of beloved Canadian comedian, John Candy. Premiere. Prime Video
My Father, the BTK Killer: Kerri Rawson opens up about what it is like to be the child of one of the country’s most notorious serial killers. Premiere. Netflix
Knife Edge: Chasing Michelin Stars: This documentary follows Michelin Guide Inspectors from Los Angeles to London. Premiere. Apple TV+
Penn & Teller: Fool Us: Season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW
Masters of Illusion: Season premiere. 8 p.m., The CW
SATURDAY
Saturday Night Live: Amy Poehler & Role Model 10:30 p.m., NBC
The Substance: Body horror at its most hilarious/awful/insightful. Demi was robbed at the Oscars. 7 p.m., HBO
The Sixth Sense: Look. Say what you will about M. Night Shyamalan, this is a classic. 8:10 p.m., FXM
SUNDAY
The Chair Company: Tim Robinson stars in this new comedy series about a man who finds himself investigating a far-flung conspiracy after an embarrassing incident at work. Series premiere. HBO & HBO Max
Matlock: The team takes on an arson case. Season premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS
Elsbeth: Comedy delights Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris, and Andy Richter guest-star in the season premiere. 8:30 p.m., CBS
Friday the 13th: Sometimes you’re just looking for a classic, you know? 6 p.m., AMC
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | 9-1-1: Nashville (repeat) |
20/20 |
| CBS | Fire Country (repeat) |
Fire Country (repeat) |
Blue Bloods (repeat) |
| CW | Penn & Teller: Fool Us (new) |
Masters of Illusion (new) |
News/Local |
| FOX | The Floor (repeat) |
College Football (live) |
| NBC | On Brand with Jimmy Fallon (new) |
Dateline |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | College Football (live) |
News/Local |
| CBS | Elsbeth (repeat) |
NCIS (repeat) |
48 Hours | News/Local |
| FOX | MLB Baseball (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | College Football (live) |
News/ Local |
Saturday Night Live (Amy Poehler & Role Model) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
Haunted Mansion |
| CBS | NFL Football (live) |
60 Minutes | Matlock (new) |
Elsbeth (new) |
Tracker (new) |
| The CW | National Treasure: Book of Secrets | Local/News |
| FOX | Krap-opolis (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
Universal Basic Guys (repeat) |
Krap-opolis (repeat) |
Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
Local/News |
| NBC | Sunday Night Football (live) |