Let’s look at some Halloween costume ideas and not talk about the news.
Let’s talk about a throw pillow on the Murphy Brown set and not the news. We can also talk about how Hillary Clinton was on the Murphy Brown premiere last night which is closer to news but still not the news.
Here are all the jokes on The Good Place you might have missed because you were too busy raging about the news.
HBO is going to stop broadcasting boxing which is good news and not the news.
This is Tom Hanks dressed as Mister Rogers which is a very good antidote to the news.
This post wonders if Great News or Quantico could possibly be revived by a streaming service, and the answer is no and this is not news.
Marcia Cross is recovering from cancer which is good news.
A Jeopardy! contestant proposed on camera which is much happier news than the news.
JWoww and Roger are divorcing because love is dead but that is not news.
Time’s Up
Bill Cosby’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame has been vandalized in the most predictable turn of events ever.
Kanye West reportedly wanted Louis C.K. to host Saturday Night Live this week because SHUT THE FUCK UP, KANYE.
Micahel Darby, husband of Ashley Darby on The Real Housewives of Potomac, has been charged with sexual assault after he groped a cameraman.
Rose McGowan has apologized to Asia Argento for comparing her to Harvey Weinstein. I mean, whatever.
Nelly has settled with a rape accuser.
In Development
- Like Magic, a workplace comedy from the Superstore folks, is in development at NBC.
- Ruthless, a drama from Michael Weatherly’s production comedy, is in development at The CW.
- I-Land, October Faction, and Warrior Nun, all sci-fi series, have been ordered by Netflix.
- Virgin River and Sweet Magnolias have been ordered by Netflix.
- Trashers is in development at FX.
- Crossing Swords, an animated series, has been ordered by Hulu.
- The Cold Blue has been bought by HBO.
Casting News
- Terry Crews will host America’s Got Talent: The Champions on NBC.
- Seth Meyers and Awkwafina are going to host Saturday Night Live with Paul Simon and Travis Scott as the musical guests respectively.
- Kelly Rowland and Kelly Price are joining BET’s American Soul.
- Paul Sorvino has been cast in Godfather of Harlem on Epix.
- Teddy Sears is joining Chicago Fire.
- Dominique Fishback is joining the Jaime Foxx/Joseph Gordon-Levitt Netflix movie.
- Joe Budden and Cyn Santana will return to Love & Hip Hop: New York on VH1.
Mark Your Calendar
- Star Trek: Short Treks premieres on CBS All Access on October 4.
- Station 19 returns next Thursday on ABC and will crossover with Grey’s Anatomy.
- A President Show Documentary: The Fall of Donald Trump will air on Comedy Central on October 22.
- Expedition Unknown: Search for the Afterlife will debut on Discovery on October 7.
- Hocus Pocus: 25th Anniversary Bash will air on Freeform on October 20.
- Scraps returns on FYI on October 11.
- Outrageous Acts of Science returns on Science Channel on October 17.
- Buying it Blind and Sweet Home will premiere on Bravo on November 2.
- Welcome to the Wayne will return on Nickelodeon on October 8.
- The Little Couple will return to TLC on October 9.
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
King Lear: Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson star in this adaptation of the classic Shakespearean drama. Amazon
Chef’s Table: Season five. Netflix
Last Man Standing: Tim Allen is back. How long before he starts “tweeting on Ambien?” Series premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
MacGyver: “Mac puts aside his differences with his father and returns when he hears Jack is the target of a murderous dictator he double-crossed.” Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
The Cool Kids: Vicki Lawrence, Martin Mull, David Allen Grier, and Leslie Jordan in a retirement home comedy by the Sunny guys. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS
Hawaii Five-0: “After Steve’s CIA agent friend is killed, McGarrett lets himself be captured by the group he thinks is responsible and endures a torturous sensory deprivation tank to find the killer.” Um, what? Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Hell’s Kitchen: Season premiere. 8 p.m. Fox
Blue Bloods: “Danny takes on a personal case involving a drug cartel member, Louis Delgado, who Danny believes is responsible for torching his house.” Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
Truth & Lies: Jonestown, Paradise Lost: A look at the 1978 massacre 40 years later. 7 p.m., ABC
Wynonna Earp: “Wynonna has a run in with the Revenants that leads her to an unexpected revelation about the curse.” Season finale. 8 p.m., Syfy
Outcast: “Kyle reluctantly teams up with the mysterious stranger in an attempt to finally end the possession threat.” Season finale. 9 p.m., Cinemax
SATURDAY
Saturday Night Live: Adam Driver & Kanye. 10:30 p.m., NBC
Phantom Thread: A 1950s tailor becomes obsessed with a working-class woman in this Oscar bait film. 7 p.m., HBO
SUNDAY
America’s Funniest Home Videos: Season premiere. (Except in Houston.) 6 p.m., ABC
The Simpsons: Basically, you know that movie about the boy who claims to have gone to heaven? Heaven is Real? That, but with Bart. Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Bob’s Burgers: “Tina decides to disguise herself as a boy and sneak into the Boyz 4 Now auditions.” Season premiere. 7:30 p.m., Fox
God Friended Me: God stalks a dude on social media. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS
Family Guy: “Brian meets and falls in love with a woman named Jess, who reveals she has cancer.” Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
NCIS: Los Angeles: “Gravely injured and unable to communicate with the team in the U.S., Callen, Sam, and Kensi, with an unconscious Deeks in tow, search for a safe way home as a cartel boss places a “dead or alive” bounty on their heads.” Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., CBS
Fear the Walking Dead: Hey, remember how I was going to blog this season? Yeah. Season finale. 8 p.m., AMC
Insecure: Season finale. 9:30 p.m., HBO
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (Friday): Paul Giamatti, Common, Shin Lim The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: (Friday): Kristen Bell Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Dr. Simone Whitmore, Dave Holmes
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Truth & Lies: Jonestown, Paradise Lost (new) |
20/20 (new) |
| CBS | MacGyver (new) |
Hawaii Five-0 (new) |
Blue Bloods (new) |
| CW | Masters of Illusion (new) |
Masters of Illusion (repeat) |
Penn & Teller: Fool Us (repeat) |
Local |
| FOX | Last Man Standing (new) |
The Cool Kids (new) |
Hell’s Kitchen (new) |
Local |
| NBC | Manifest (repeat) |
New Amsterdam (repeat) |
Dateline (new) |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | College Football: Ohio State at Penn State (live) |
News/Local |
| CBS | Magnum P.I. (repeat) |
48 Hours (new) |
News/Local |
| FOX | College Football: BYU at Washington (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | College Football: Stanford at Notre Dame (live) |
News/Local | Saturday Night Live (Adam Driver & Kanye West) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
Frozen | Shark Tank (new) |
| CBS | NFL (new) |
60 Minutes (new) |
God Friended Me (new) |
NCIS: Los Angeles (new) |
FBI (repeat) |
| FOX | The Simpsons (repeat) |
Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
The Simpsons (new) |
Bob’s Burgers (new) |
Family Guy (new) |
Rel (new) |
Local/News |
| NBC | Sunday Night Football: Ravens at Steelers (live) |