foolish watcher

It’s Election Eve, SO WHO ELSE IS FREAKING OUT?

Therese Odell
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Election Day is tomorrow, and I’m FREAKING OUT. I am trying so hard to ignore polls, including that positive Iowa one, because what’s the point? What can I do about polls here in a blue dot in a red state that could change the fate of this country if our people WOULD JUST GO VOTE but for some reason won’t or can’t or … WHATEVER. ~breathe~

But I find that I can’t stop checking the early voting numbers around the country and warming myself against a dim flame of hope off of the fact that women are voting at a rate of almost 10 points higher than men. This is not intended as an attack on my similarly-minded male readers — if you guys haven’t voted already, I hope all you guys have a plan for tomorrow (especially here in Houston, Texas, where the weather is not looking particularly cooperative). But women, and our collective anger at having our rights stripped away by a sex pest and his Supreme Court nominees, we will be the ones to take Vice President Kamala Harris into the White House, and the ones to banish Former President Protect Women Whether They Like it Or Not from politics forever.

All that said, I’ve been here before in 2016, and my PTSD simply won’t allow me to relax and be confident that we’ve got this. Thanks to Former President Hang Mike Pence’s previous fuckery, I won’t be able to relax until Kamala Harris is sworn in on January 20, 2025.

BUT HOW THIS IS RACE EVEN CLOSE? I mean, just look at this nonsense:

 

 
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As John Oliver says in the video below:

“There’s one final thing I’m going to be very excited for on Tuesday, and that is: If Donald Trump loses this election, he’s basically finished,” he stated. “I know he’d put us through hell before he left the stage, but when the dust settled, he’d have lost two elections in a row, and he’d be campaigning as an 82-year-old next time. I think he’d be done. And doesn’t that sound great?”

An emotional Oliver added, “I know the problems he’s a symptom of would, of course, remain, but we wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. Wouldn’t it be great to live in a world where he’s no longer an active threat, just an annoyance? Where he can yell about ice cream machines and complain about windmills and we all have the option of just not giving a shit about any of it at all?”

Because Saturday Night Live had Kamala Harris make a surprise appearance on Saturday night, NBC was required by law to give Former President Suspend NBC’s Licenses equal time. They broadcast this message during NASCAR and following Sunday Night Football:

 

 
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Wow. Great closing message, Former President Compulsive Liar.  Don’t you have some journalists to threaten? Maybe a microphone to fellate?

These soap stars are ready to turn the page on Former President Grandpa McRambles:

And we have all the best heroes on our side:

But the only ones who have any real powers to do anything tomorrow are the voters. If you’ve already voted, thank you. If you haven’t yet, I hope you make time to do so tomorrow. We can save this country — again — from the threat of a fascist, sexist, racist, wannabe dictator who would have and wield unlimited powers, but only if we all exercise our most precious right, and do so in numbers they can’t argue or fuck with.

Let’s do this thing. Again.

 

 
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(This is a different clip from the one above, I promise. Also, it name-checks Ted “Cancun” Cruz, so that alone makes this worth watching.)

Here’s A BUNCH OF TV News

Apparently, things were messy behind the scenes of Nobody Wants This on Netflix. The show’s creator, Erin Foster, sounds like she was a pill, which, considering she is a nepo baby, is not entirely surprising.

Netflix is pulling all of its interactive titles this month.

Saturday Night Live has been racist?!?!!! This is my shocked face at this shocking news!

Kieran Culkin still hasn’t watched the series finale of Succession.

Days of Our Lives will finally pay tribute to Bill Hayes this week. (My mother has been driving me crazy asking when this would happen since the actor died in January. She can’t be the only one wondering.)

Patrick Warburton’s family was horrified by his role on Seinfeld, because the first episode he was in involved premarital sex, and women’s pleasure in particular. His mother also tried to get Family Guy canceled while Patrick was on it, even though he was supporting his parents with his Family Guy money.

An upcoming episode of Celebrity Wheel of Fortune will mark Pat Sajak’s final episode. For real this time.

Ryan Murphy learned NOTHING from The Killing. According to Niecy Nash, season two of Grotesquerie was always the plan, but that doesn’t mean the way they ended season one wasn’t some bullshit. I just watched this series this weekend, and I’m here to tell you, it’s a mess.

Paramount is being sued for selling all of your viewing data to other sources.

Congratulations to Cecily Strong!

Hoping Dorit Kemsley’s son is doing better.

Sending James Van Der Beek good wishes as he battles colorectal cancer.

Get better soon, Coach Gregg Popovich!

Love is dead again.

JD Vance calls Emily in Paris a “masterpiece” was not a headline I expected to read on this election eve.

Hahahahaha, bye, bitch.

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

R.I.P.

Quincy Jones, The legendary 28-time Grammy-winner who was a musician, composer, producer and songwriter and worked with everyone from Michael Jackson to Frank Sinatra to Miles Davis, and the father of actress Rashida Jones

 

 
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Alan Rachins, Actor who appeared on L.A. Law, Dharma and Greg and others

Greg Hildebrandt, Artist who created the iconic poster for Star Wars and other films, and drew some Marvel characters

Nadia Cattouse, British actress and singer

Jehane Markham, British playwright and author who wrote for television, radio and theater

James Ledbetter, Media critic

Janey Godley, Scottish comedian who famously opposed Former President Cunt. Let’s win this election for her.

 

 
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WATCH THIS

Saturday Night Live Election Special: LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW WHILE YOU CAN. 9 p.m., NBC

All the President’s Men: A wild fantasy in which Washington Post reporters, editors, and owners take a dangerous but principled stance against a corrupt President. 3 p.m., Sundance

Or Just Lock Yourself in a Dark Closet and Do Breathing Exercises: Because admit it, you’re not going to be able to focus on anything. All day long, Your Closet

Late Night:

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Monday Night Football
(live)
CBS The Neighbor-hood
(new)		 Poppa’s House
(new)		 NCIS
(new)		 NCIS: Origins
(new)
CW Superman & Lois
(new)		 Driving the Vote
(new)		 Local
FOX 9-1-1: Lone Star
(new)		 Rescue: HI-Surf
(new)		 News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)		 The SNL Election Special
(new)
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