foolish watcher

Dakota Johnson and Justin Timberlake stop by ‘Saturday Night Live’ for the first time in years

Therese Odell
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Saturday Night Live
Dakota Johnson & Justin Timberlake
January 27, 2024

Dakota Johnson (and not Fanning as I attempted to call her throughout this recap) has returned to host Saturday Night Live for the first time since 2015 — which I did recap, but it was so long ago, it was before this website existed. Thus the recap has long ago vanished, along with any trace of Tubular.

R.I.P. Tubular.

But somehow, more remarkably, it’s been even longer than eight years since musical guest and former SNL regular, Justin Timberlake has been on the show. Timberlake, who has hosted five times (separate from the other two times he was only the musical guest and the EIGHT times he made a cameo), hasn’t set foot in Studio 8H (at least not on air) since 2013. SINCE 2013.

That’s right: neither the host nor the musical guest have been on Saturday Night Live since OBAMA WAS PRESIDENT. If that doesn’t make you feel old, I don’t know what will. In any event, despite having to brush off a few cobwebs, both Johnson and Timberlake were up to the task and performed well last night. If anything, Johnson seemed worlds more confident and mature than the last time she hosted, and she was the best thing about the episode.

CBS’s NFL commentators lament that today’s playoff games is the “last day of football,” as the Super Bowl is about commercials and people watching who don’t know how the game is played — and they’re kinda not wrong? They manage to sneak in a good little dig at SNL “There is no other live TV that is even remotely watchable” before ruining the sketch by breaking out in a poorly rehearsed singalong to “‘Til I See You Again.” But hey, it wasn’t about politics, so it has that going for it.

Grade: B

Dakota Johnson’s monologue begins with a Former President $83 Million-Poorer/Taylor Swift joke, before being hijacked by musical guest Justin Timberlake who would like you to know he’s ready to be in any sketches as need be. They are also joined by Jimmy Fallon in his Barry Gibb get-up, who is also ready to be in a sketch. If need be.

Grade: B

In a baffling first sketch choice, Sarah Squirm and Johnson are waitresses who insist they don’t need to write down a family’s order, only to botch it spectacularly. That’s the entire joke, aside from a weird Manson Family bit. And I hate it as much as anyone when waiters refuse to write down my order — WE WILL ALL FEEL A LOT BETTER IF YOU’D JUST WRITE IT DOWN — but I’m not sure that it makes for an entire sketch.

Grade: C+

Here, a family sits down to watch some family home videos, including the one in which Dad finds out he’s going to be a father: on a show that is clearly The Maury Povich Show.

First of all, no one does white trash better than Mikey Day, and Johnson goes all in — she’s fantastic. But as much as I enjoyed it — and I did enjoy it — I also happened to see this TikTok last week, so it’s hard to give it many points for originality:

@alexisgracewilliams

♬ original sound – Alexis Grace

Grade: A-

So you know how Jimmy Fallon was all dressed up in his Barry Gibb costume in the monologue? And it was treated like it was just a bit? Yeah, they went ahead and did a “The Barry Gibb Show” sketch, with Timberlake as Robin Gibb.

Here’s the thing: I don’t mind Timberlake being in a sketch while serving as the musical guest — despite how I might be feeling about him as a human being right about now (NOT GREAT) it’s impossible to deny that he has a pretty storied history with the show, especially during the Samburg/Fallon years. But it seems like stepping on your own joke to do the bit that you referenced in the monologue.

BUT ALSO, one of the jokes of the bit is that Barry Gibb talks the way he sings: in a high falsetto. And Fallon completely loses that about a third of the way through.

Points for the Elie Mystal reference though:

Grade: B-

In this “Please Don’t Destroy” bit, Dakota Johnson and the PDD boys viciously roast each other. It is easily, and without question, the best “Please Don’t Destroy” bit to date. It is brutal and hilarious.

Grade: A++

It’s that Big Dumb Hats sketch from Amy Schumer’s 2022 episode, except make it about Stanley Cups. Like the original “Big Dumb Hat” bit it veers into the absurd at the end, but until then, it hits at some pretty hard truths about basic bitches. “This is the cup that says, ‘I’m a virgin and I also have 6 kids.'”

Grade: A-

Thanks to a former President who can’t keep his fucking lying mouth shut and a New York jury, “Weekend Update” had plenty of material to work with this week. They obviously make light of the E. Jean Carroll verdict, but also Ron DeSantis, Nikki Haley, the Texas teen pregnancy rate, Disney maternity wards, and “man camps” and it’s all pretty strong. Also, Che sneaks a nasty little OJ Simpson joke in there.

Grade: A-

Here, Bowen Yang is “Ethan,” a man of uncertain age who ostensibly is there to talk about the Oscar snubs, but instead tells Jost about his own awards ceremony, The Ethans. It’s fully mediocre. Bring back bitchy Bowen.

Grade: C+

A couple of weeks ago, Fox News brought on a tarot card reader who did not have a good prognostication about Former President Tang’s future. Weekend Update brings out Jan Jaby, British tarot card reader to give her predictions about the 2024 election season, but instead of focusing on President Biden and the Former Liar-in-Chief, she only has predictions for Michael Che’s future. And they aren’t positive.

Grade: B-

A member of a ladies’ book club has big news for her friends: she is about to sell her million-dollar idea to the sharks on Shark Tank — a T-shirt that reads, “Don’t ask if I’m OK. I’m OK. But if everyone asks if I’m OK, I’m going to start crying.” When her book club members express skepticism about the shirt, she proves it’s true by asking one of her fellow members if she’s OK until she cries. Mark Cuban and Barbara Corcoran then show up which I suppose was the whole point? Don’t know, don’t care, bad sketch.

Grade: C

The final sketch of the night finds Johnson recovering her lost duffel bag at Delta’s baggage claim, only to have the counter guys read from her diary and reveal her embarrassing meds in front of the guy she had been flirting with. It’s dumb and feels like a test run for a recurring Devon Walker character.

Grade: B-

Before we get to the rest of it, why on earth is Dave Chappelle on the stage for goodbyes? He wasn’t on the show. Go away, Dave Chappelle.

ANYWAY, AS I WAS SAYING. Cut for time was this horror trailer about how husbands become “Horny Little Dorks” at the slightest provocation. It was better than three of the sketches that did make it on air.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And as I mentioned, I’m not exactly happy with Justin Timberlake at the moment. I truly think he could have handled the Britney Spears revelations with a lot more maturity and grace, and I’m not sure it’s the moment for a big comeback attempt. But here we are.

And I wasn’t going to post either of his performances but then suddenly Houston’s own  Tobe Nwigwe came along and saved this song. I LOVE Tobe and if this is how more people learn about him, then I can’t be mad.

Also, what a wonderful full circle moment for Tobe Nwigwe and his song, “Fye Fye”: “If you black/We N’Sync/Bye bye bye.”

I MEAN, COME ON.

Final Grade: B+. That “Please Don’t Destroy” video really saved this episode.

Saturday Night Live airs at 10:30/11:30 p.m. Saturdays on NBC and streams on Peacock.

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