foolish watcher

I’ll give you one guess which former President you’d want to binge-watch TV with

Therese Odell
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It’s Wednesday! Here’s a baby pig having a bath!

I know I only have 35 more days to scream about President Dumpsterfire, but I’m going to give us all a break from it today. Don’t worry, I’ll be back to set my hair on fire about whatever stupid shit he’s tweeting and doing tomorrow.

Going Viral

I write about this virus every single day, I am well aware of what is going on out there, and yet somehow it wasn’t until I saw this picture of Houston’s-own Dr. Hotez receiving the vaccine that I became emotional about it. It’s really happening, we’re really close to the end of this thing. We just have to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe for a few more months.

Remember, once you do get the vaccine, you’ll need to go back for a second dose!

And don’t be duped that this is just an old person’s disease: this July was the deadliest month for U.S. adults ages 25 to 44 in modern American history. I shudder to learn what this winter brings.

California is considering rationing care. This, theme park CEOs, is why you weren’t allowed to fling DinseyLand wide open.

While filming Mission Impossible 7 (SEVEN), Tom Cruise saw two crew members standing too close together by a monitor and LOST. HIS. SHIT.

“You can tell it to the people who are losing their fucking homes because our industry is shut down. It’s not going to put food on their table or pay for their college education. That’s what I sleep with every night – the future of this fucking industry! So I’m sorry, I am beyond your apologies. I have told you, and now I want it, and if you don’t do it, you’re out. We are not shutting this fucking movie down! Is it understood? If I see it again, you’re fucking gone.”

“Am I clear? Do you understand what I want?” Cruise asked. “Do you understand the responsibility that I have? Because I will deal with your reason, and if you can’t be reasonable and I can’t deal with your logic, you’re fired. That’s it. That is it. I trust you guys to be here.”

I mean, he’s not wrong.

Kamala Harris promises that there won’t be a punishment if people disregard her administration’s 100-day mask mandate. (But there should be. GO TO MAKSLESS JAIL AND SEE HOW COMFORTABLE YOU ARE THEN.)

Ivanka needs to shut the hell up and sit the hell down. Can not be done with these garbage people soon enough.

Maine senator Angus King is asking streaming services to make themselves available for free during the holidays to encourage people to stay home. They did this at the beginning of this crisis, and it’s not a terrible idea now, too, but I don’t think some free Netflix is going to convince some family of Karens who is determined to give grandma COVID this Christmas to not do so.

Nathan Apodaca, the viral Fleetwood Mac “Dreams” skateboarder, has contracted the virus.

Secretary of State (not for long) Mike Pompeo is in quarantine after being exposed to someone with the virus and NOT because he’s hiding in embarrassment after his 900-person State Department party only garnered 70 RSVPs and even fewer guests and he canceled his appearance.

All Other TV News

Better Call Saul, The Good Place, The Boys and Watchmen: It shouldn’t surprise you that Barack Obama has good taste in TV.

“Better Call Saul, because of its great characters and examination of the dark side of the American dream. The Good Place — it’s a wise and sweet combination of goofy comedy and big philosophical questions. And Watchmen and The Boys, for how they turn superhero conventions on their heads to lay bare issues of race, capitalism, and the distorting effects of corporate power and mass media. Oh, and the NBA playoffs — because it’s hoops!”

Hey, the first three episodes of The Expanse have dropped on Amazon early.

The showrunner of One Day at a Time has revealed what would have been in season 4. Sigh.

PETA is SO MAD at The Pack for a rappelling competition.

Showtime is going with a “quality over quantity” approach to its marketing. I mean, good luck with that.

Miltos Yerolemou, the actor who played Syrio Forel, the First Sword of Braavos on Game of Thrones, is offering virtual “water dancing” classes for all of you Arya wannabes.

Renewals

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

R.I.P.

Scott Marshall Smith, Screenwriter of Men of Honor and The Score

Catie Lazarus, Comedian and writer who hosted Employee of the Month, an onstage New York celebrity talk show

Edgardo del Villar, Telemundo anchor in the New York-New Jersey area

Robert Werden, Film industry publicist

WATCH THIS

The Masked Singer: The three finalists perform one last time before being demasked and one takes home the prized Golden Mask Trophy. Season finale. 7 p.m., Fox

The Expanse: Season five premiere (and first three episodes). Amazon

The Amazing Race: One team finishes the race first and wins the one million dollar prize in New Orleans. Season finale. 7 p.m., CBS

Devils: Series finale. 7 p.m., The CW

How to Ruin Christmas: A sister tries to make things right after ruining her sister’s Christmas wedding in this new comedy series. Series premiere. Netflix

The Ripper: This limited docuseries explores the Yorkshire Ripper who terrorized England in the late 70s (and who just recently died of COVID-19 in prison — oh, spoiler alert: they caught him). Premiere. Netflix

The Art of Political Murder: An examination of the murder of Guatemalan Bishop, Juan Gerardi, who had been looking into the atrocities committed in his country during the brutal civil war of the 80s. Premiere. 8 p.m., HBO

Late Night:

WEDS. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Great Christmas Light Fight
(new)		 For Life
(new)
CBS The Amazing Race
(new)		 SEAL Team
(new)		 S.W.A.T.
(new)
CW Devils
(new)		 Penn & Teller: Fool Us
(repeat)		 Local
FOX The Masked Singer
(new)		 News/Local
NBC Christmas Spectacular: Starring the Radio City Rockettes at Home Holiday Special
(repeat)		 Saturday Night Live Christmas Special
(new)
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