foolish watcher

The World Series, ‘What We Do in the Shadows,’ ‘Somebody Somewhere,’ ‘Poppa’s House,’ and everything else you don’t want to miss on TV this week

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MONDAY

The Neighborhood: Baby Daphne comes home from the hospital. Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS

Poppa’s House: A happily divorced radio talk-show host who lives with his adult son is challenged by a new female co-worker in this new Wayans family production. Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS

What We Do in the Shadows: My favorite vampires are back for one last season. Season premiere. 9 p.m., FX

Carved: A group of people trapped in a historical reenactment village find themselves hunted by a sentient and vengeful pumpkin. You read that correctly. Hulu

Midsommar: Get the bear suit. 7:58 p.m., HBO2

TUESDAY

Hasan Minaj: Off With His Head: In his new special, Minaj addresses the story that cost him The Daily Show hosting gig.  Netflix

Game 7: This new anthology series explores some of the most exciting game 7s in sports history. Premiere. Prime Video

Slice: Chance the Rapper and Zazie Beetz star in this pizza delivery horror-comedy.  9 p.m., Thriller Max

WEDNESDAY

Love is Blind: Wedding time. Maybe. Netflix

This is the Zodiac Speaking: This new documentary explores the theory that Arthur Leigh Allen was the notorious Zodiac Killer. Premiere. Netflix

Breath of Fire: A millennial YouTube astrologer rebrands herself as a guru in this documentary that explores the dangers of modern new age spirituality and cultural appropriation.  8 p.m., HBO

Final Destination: Want to know what being a parent is like? You suddenly develop the gift of envisioning every potential disaster unfold right before it does, just like in this movie. 7 p.m., AMC

THURSDAY

Territory: Powerful factions move in to try to take control of Australia’s largest cattle station in what sounds like some sort of Aussie mix between Yellowstone and Succession + Anna Torv. Series premiere. Netflix

Canary Black: Kate Beckinsale stars in this thriller as a woman who is blackmailed by terrorists to betray her country in order to save her husband. Premiere. Prime Video

Beauty in Black: This is NOT “Beyond Black Beauty” which is a take on the classic Black Beauty story, but instead a Tyler Perry series about a stripper and and a wealthy family who is in cosmetics or something. Very different. Netflix

Star Trek: Lower Decks: Season premiere. Paramount+

Old: I’m not saying this movie is good, because it definitely is not. But it is batshit insane, which is something, I guess. 7:05 p.m., Syfy

FRIDAY

World Series: Game 1: Welp, it’s Yankees vs. Dodgers, so Astros fans, who are you rooting for? (None of the above here at FW HQ). 7 p.m., Fox

Before: Billy Crystal stars in this psychological thriller as a child psychologist who believes one of his clients has a connection to his dead son. Series premiere. Apple TV+

Road Dairy: Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band: A look behind the scenes of the band’s 2023-2024 world tour. Premiere. Hulu

Simone Biles Rising, Part 2: Part 2 follows Houston’s hero as she makes her way to Paris and makes history as the world’s most decorated gymnast. Premiere. Netflix

Don’t Move: A killer injects a woman with a paralytic agent, and she must run, hide, and fight before her body completely shuts down in this dark thriller. Premiere. Netflix

Azrael: Samara Weaving stars in this horror film as a young woman who is expected to be sacrificed to a dark evil in the woods, but who has other plans for herself. Premiere. Shudder

Jennifer’s Body: A possessed cheerleader becomes a succubus in this largely misunderstood little feminist gem. 8:05 p.m., Showtime Women

SATURDAY

World Series: Game 2: More baseball. 7 p.m., Fox

Seth Meyers: Dad Man Walking: The late night host’s new stand-up special addresses the chaos of being the parent to three small children. 9 p.m., HBO

Poltergeist: The horror movie that traumatized me when I was nine, and made me the horror nerd I am today. 7:15 p.m., BBC America

SUNDAY

Somebody Somewhere: Season three premiere. 9:30 p.m., HBO

Special Ops: Lionness: Season two premiere. Paramount+

The Marlow Murder Club: A retired archeologist and two other women uncover a series of clues regarding a killer. Series premiere. 8 p.m., PBS

Beyond: UFOs and the Unknown: Now that we know that UFOs are real, the question is what are they? Series premiere. MGM+

Scream: The wicked little neo-slasher that changed the genre forever. 8:35 p.m., HBO2 West

 

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