It’s Thursday again, and people are out here actually giving their dogs mullets. I have never been more disappointed to have a short-haired dog in my life.
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Black Lives Matter
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
Last week that main character was Jonathan VanBoskerc, a Las Vegas resident who wrote an editorial for the Orlando Sentinel complaining that Walt Disney World has become too “woke,” and threatening that he and his family won’t be going back. (They will totally be going back.) His evidence of said “wokeness” is that the Pirates of the Caribbean took out a sex trafficking scene, the Jungle Cruise ride took out a racist character, Splash Mountain will change its design scheme from Song of the South to Princess and the Frog, and employees will be allowed to have tattoos and horror of horrors, cut their hair the way they choose. With all of these changes, how can he, a white middle-aged Christian man, be expected to enjoy himself at the park?
“Disney, please return to the values and vision of Walt. The customer experience should be the core of your business model. Immersion should not be sacrificed on the altar of political correctness and appeasing the Twitter mob.”
See, the thing is, the “customer experience” IS the core of Disney’s business model and they’ve determined there are more customers who would like to experience less racism and misogyny in the parks than there are old white dudes who are angry and scared that the world is changing and they aren’t at the center of it anymore. Overhauling rides is an expensive proposition, one that Disney is not going to undertake just to appease a few loud Twitter critics. They must know that it will benefit their profits down the line or they wouldn’t bother doing it. Also, at least two of the changes listed above were to incorporate more synergy between the theme parks and Disney’s more recent movies. It’s called capitalism, something Mr. VanBoskerc and his fellow whiners like Marco Rubio should look into sometime.
My woke Disney vacation pic.twitter.com/bWYXwMI00o
— Brent Terhune (@BrentTerhune) April 23, 2021
A Jeopardy! contestant was accused of making a white power hand signal on the show, and he vigorously denies it, saying he was just signifying his third win.
(CNN employee’s overt racism and ignorance.) https://t.co/awZdUGtofE
— Soledad O'Brien (@soledadobrien) April 26, 2021
— Krysta Fauria (@krystafauria) April 21, 2021
— Jimmy Kimmel Live (@JimmyKimmelLive) April 23, 2021
And he got a response from Atlanta Mayor Keisha Bottoms:
Sorry to hear about your experience. It’s my understanding that this was not APD, but another one of the many agencies working in the airport. We are working to confirm. https://t.co/PhhCMxDbM2
— Keisha Lance Bottoms (@KeishaBottoms) April 21, 2021
There’s a dissertation to be written about this interaction and this interaction alone.
State of the system in one minute. https://t.co/JsTdwwo0Ws
— Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) April 26, 2021
I’m going to let this filmmaker’s post speak for itself, just like she let these people speak for themselves:
Things the G.O.P. stands for: giving immunity to people who choose to drive their cars into protestors, you know, like the neo-Nazi who murdered Heather Heyer in Charlottesville, Virginia. Many bills are being passed across the country that are being labeled “anti-riot” bills, but are really thinly disguised attacks on the First Amendment right of freedom of assembly. And here’s Fox News idiot Brian Kilmeade arguing that protestors against police brutality should be denied the use of 911.
Speaking of police brutality, this horrific story happened in my own backyard, but this was the first I had heard of it: in 2015, Harris County officers pulled over a female African-American college student, and in a gas station parking lot, body slammed her before proceeding to search her for drugs by stripping her naked, shoving her head beneath a car, forcing her legs apart and searching her vaginal area for a full 11 minutes. It was entirely caught on dashcam, and yet two of the three cops were cleared of all criminal charges and the third was never charged at all. The woman in question recently settled her civil rights lawsuit against Harris County, and all three cops are still on the Harris County force.
A study by UCLA suggests that actors of color were in 42% of all movie roles, and 39.7% of lead roles, which is a marked improvement in representation. Let’s see if the trend maintains when it’s not a weird pandemic year.
The Theatre Leadership Project (TTLP) has been launched by a group of Broadway producers along with the Black Theatre Coalition and Columbia University’s Prince Fellowship. It aims to train a new generation of Black theater leaders.
Whoopi Goldberg is writing a comic book whose hero is an older Black woman. Heaven knows they are the ones who saved us from Former President Circus Peanut.
All Other TV News
The Boys season three is using three times as much blood as last season. You’ve been warned.
Netflix has launched its “Play Something” button to boss you around.
If you’ve read and watched Shadow and Bone, the series’ showrunners explain why they made those changes here.
We have our first look at Sarah Paulson as Linda Tripp in Impeachment: American Crime Story and people are SO MAD because Paulson is wearing a fat suit. The criticism here is that they should have hired a fat actress instead, but it’s Sarah Paulson? Who is great? And who has a long history working with Ryan Murphy? I get the problem, I understand that this was an opportunity that could have gone to a larger actress, but, again, it’s Sarah Paulson, so I’m not sure where I come down on this one.
A woman won a house in Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville on Wheel of Fortune, the poor thing.
The reason The View did not discuss the Hunter Biden “scandal” is that there was no there, there, you nitwit. But speaking of, there is a scandal related to Ukraine and Hunter Biden, it’s just not the one the Right expected. (Though the rest of us had a good idea.)
Speaking of, Saturday Night Live has to bring Will Ferrell on to play this asshole, right?
Rudy's son Andrew Giuliani: "Any American, whether you are red or blue, should be extremely disturbed by what happened here today, by the continued politititation [sic] of the Justice Department." pic.twitter.com/W2llUUFNZG
— The Recount (@therecount) April 28, 2021
Poor Ted Cruz brought a complete lack of a sense of humor to a battle of wits. It didn’t go well for him:
Trevor Noah whines that people are fleeing high-tax blue states & moving in droves to low-tax states like Texas, where the jobs are.
Doesn’t understand why people like freedom.
Also predicts the Biden years will be the Great Depression. https://t.co/aNewrWtme1
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) April 28, 2021
Not sure I'd be using the words "fleeing" and "Texas" in the same sentence, Senator Cancun https://t.co/hgRsrN11vQ
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) April 28, 2021
Ummm…you remember last night?? Bravo.
— Jon Stewart (@jonstewart) April 28, 2021
And with that Ted Cruz has officially fought back harder against a tweet from a late night show than he ever did when Trump called his wife ugly https://t.co/auWBOXEebh
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) April 28, 2021
It's past bedtime for Sleepy Ted Cruz. This is the same guy who calls President Joe Biden Sleepy Joe. pic.twitter.com/beQdNR8ecH
— Nita Cosby (@5_2blue) April 29, 2021
Goodnight Cancun Cruz pic.twitter.com/90vcpCXVBU
— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) April 29, 2021
Looks like Ted’s eyes are hooked up to his state’s power grid pic.twitter.com/vC7LUSJ4nJ
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) April 29, 2021
Here are some photos of families reuniting at nursing homes. Now stop crying and go get that jab, y’all.
The Tonight Show is launching a six-episode miniseries about how the show dealt with the pandemic.
New York City is shooting to be fully reopened by July — except for Broadway. Not so fast, Broadway.
And Alamo Drafthouse is reopening 15 locations, backing away from bankruptcy.
France is beginning their reopening with cinemas, restaurants, and cafes beginning on May 19. The idea is to try to get the country reopened by the time Cannes rolls around in July.
Okay this summer is gonna be lit pic.twitter.com/zHNLrPnTiy
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) April 27, 2021
Former President Has-been is out here crying that no one is giving him credit for the vaccine. And it’s true: Operation Warp Speed helped speed up the development of the Moderna and Johnson & Johnson vaccine, but it had nothing to do with the first approved vaccine, which was from Pfizer, who took no federal grant money, so, you know.
Trump spent the last 10 months of his presidency publicly undermining science, safety protocols, and the overall threat posed by the virus. In November, it was reported that he had not attended a coronavirus task force meeting in at least five months, ducking out of active involvement in his administration’s response during much of 2020 and then using his final months in office to try overturning the election he clearly lost. All of which left Biden with a dire mess to clean up upon taking office, a transition that occurred during the third and deadliest wave of infections in the U.S. Still, more than 200 million vaccine shots have been administered in Biden’s first 100 days.
Trump's supporters want him to get credit for the vaccine which many of them refuse to get as a way of owning the libs.
— Susan Glasser (@sbg1) April 29, 2021
- Invincible has been renewed for a second season on Amazon.
- The Big Leap has been given a series order at Fox.
- Wolf Like Me, a comedy starring Josh Gad and Isla Fisher, is in the works at Peacock.
- Girl In The Woods, a horror series directed by Krysten Ritter, has been set at Peacock.
- Sprung, a comedy by Greg Garcia and starring Garret Dillahunt, Illeana Douglas, and Philip Garcia has been set at IMDb TV.
- Later With John Mayer is close to happening at Paramount+.
- Don’t Forget the Lyrics! hosted by Niecy Nash is coming to Fox.
- Scary Stories for Young Foxes is being turned into an animated limited series produced by Lena Headey.
- Hummingbird, a LatinX genre series, has been bought by Amazon.
- Meghan and Harry: Recollections May Vary is coming to Discovery+.
- You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty has been optioned at Amazon.
- A docuseries about the launch of the NBA-affiliated Basketball Africa League is being made by Freemantle.
- Making (Her)Story, a docuseries about female athletes breaking into male-dominated sports, has been set at Insight TV.
- Front Office, a series hosted by Chris Paul, has been set at PlayersTV.
- Jurnee Smollett will star in and produce Lou for Netflix.
- Grace Gummer is joining Let the Right One In on Showtime.
- Noah Centineo will star in a CIA drama for Netflix.
- Vincent Kartheiser is joining Titans on HBO Max.
- Julie Ann Emery will co-star in Five Days at Memorial on Apple TV+.
- Taylor Schilling, Spenser Granese, and Mozhan Marnò have been added to the cast of Pam & Tommy on Hulu.
- Rish Shah will star in Strangers on Netflix.
- Ana Ularu is joining The Power on Amazon.
- Reid Scott and Gideon Glick will be joining the cast of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon.
- Jacob Young has been added to the cast of The Walking Dead on AMC.
- Desmin Borges and Natasha Lopez are joining the cast of The Time Traveler’s Wife on HBO.
- Nina Bloomgarden, David Iacono, Mimi Davila, Dana Donnelly, and Myra Molloy have joined Hot Pink on Amazon.
- Lola Tung, Rachel Blanchard, Jackie Chung, and Christopher Briney have been cast in The Summer I Turned Pretty on Amazon.
- Katya Martín has joined Promised Land, an ABC drama pilot.
- WAIT, THERE WAS A BBC BROADCASTER ACTUALLY NAMED JON SNOW?
Mark Your Calendars
- Betty returns on HBO in June. And they are still cooler than you.
- Hacks will debut on HBO Max on May 13.
- Sweet Tooth will debut on Netflix on June 4.
- Blue Miracle premieres on Netflix on May 27.
- Inside, a socially-distanced comedy special from Bo Burnham, is coming to Netflix soon.
hi. i made a new special. it was filmed by me, alone, without a crew or an audience, over the course of the past year. it is almost finished. i hope you like it. pic.twitter.com/5a59IUrzVj
— Bo Burnham (@boburnham) April 28, 2021
- The Kominsky Method returns on Netflix on May 28.
- In Our Mothers’ Gardens will premiere on Netflix on May 6.
- See Us Unite for Change, hosted by Ken Jeong, will air on MTV on May 21.
- In the Valley of Sin will premiere on Fox Nation on May 9.
- Gossip Girl will premiere on HBO Max sometime in July.
- Revolution Rent will debut on HBO on June 15.
- The Last Letter From Your Lover will premiere on Netflix on July 23.
- The Wonderful World of Disney returns on ABC on May 3.
- The Ultimate Surfer will debut on ABC on August 23; Card Sharks on June 16; and Press Your Luck and The $100,000 Pyramid will return on May 26.
- Symon’s Dinners Cooking Out premieres on May 29 on Food Network.
- Botched returns on E! on May 18.
- 40 Year Old Property Virgin debuts on Discovery+ on May 26.
- Sergio Mendes & Friends: A Celebration will air on PBS in June.
- Crackle has announced their May premiere dates.
Shunsuke Kikuchi, Composer for the Dragon Ball series
Michael Collins, Apollo 11 pilot, and father of All My Children actress, Kate Collins
Mosquito Coast: Justin Theroux and Melissa George star in this new adaptation of the Paul Theroux novel. (I will just note that the reviews have not been particularly positive for the series, many comparing it to a watered-down Ozark, but I love me some Justin Theroux, so there you go.) Series premiere. Apple TV+
Things Heard & Seen: Amanda Seyfried stars in this haunted house movie: “A Manhattan couple moves to a historic hamlet in the Hudson Valley and comes to discover that their marriage has a sinister darkness, one that rivals their new home’s history. Based on the acclaimed novel by Elizabeth Brundage.” Premiere. Netflix
The Big Shot with Bethenny: Bethenny Frankel turns the search for her second-in-command into a reality competition. Sure, why not. Premiere. HBO Max
Tom Clancy’s Without Remorse: Michael B. Jordan stars in this film adaptation of the Tom Clancy novel, which is as much information you really need, right? FINE. He’s an elite Navy SEAL who, while seeking justice for the murder of his pregnant girlfriend, uncovers a plot that could cause an all-out war between the U.S. and Russia. So, your typical Woman in Refrigerator plotline. Premiere. Amazon
Chasing Ocean Giants: Patrick Dykstra chases whales around. Premiere. Discovery+
Let’s Be Real: Robert Smiegel is behind the American version of the classic U.K. puppet series Splitting Image. WARNING: There will be a Ted Cruz puppet, so prepare yourself. Series premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Impractical Jokers: Season 9. 9 p.m., TruTV
NFL Draft: I will never understand why anyone would want to watch any draft, but it’s going to be broadcast across three different networks, so clearly I’m in the minority here. By the way, the Draft continues on Friday and Saturday nights. 7 p.m., ABC, ESPN, NFLN
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Michael B. Jordan, Impractical Jokers, Coi Leary
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: Leslie Jordan, Ashnikko featuring Princess Nokia
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Mila Kunis, Sara Kays
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Brian Tyree Henry, Tom Grennan
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Maya Rudolph, Malcolm Gladwell, Kings of Leon
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
- Watch What Happens Live: Lionel Richie
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Rupi Kaur
|United States of Al
|CW||People Presents: William & Kate’s Royal Anniversary
|People Presents: Harry & Meghan’s American Dream
|FOX||Name That Tune
|Last Man Standing
|Let’s Be Real
|Law & Order Special Victims Unit