February 4, 2021
Arms dealer Lady Toretto is enjoying a quiet night at a strip club. A baby oiled be-glittered cowboy struts onto the stage and I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE NO THANK YOU. Let’s see what’s happening outside in the parking lot, shall we?
Walker and Micki are on stakeout gathering intel on Lady Toretto. Walker is wearing a plaid shirt, FYI. He also christens the dash of his partner’s new truck with a Texas Rangers (baseball) bobble head. Walker says he’s for luck. He’s always smiling. Never judging.
Micki is focused on the job, but Walker sees this as an opportunity to bond. Learn each other’s beverage of choice. Favorite movies. Favorite teams. Middle names. Tales of misspent youth.
It’s a light and charming scene and more of this, please.
As the club begins to empty out, Walker and Micki go inside to try and get eyes on Lady Toretto. There’s no sign of her, but they do hear the sound of pealing tires outside. They rush outside in time to see Micki’s new truck being driven away. Walker shouts after the thieves,
“Hey, my bobble head is in there!!”
I kind of want to embroider that on a pillow.
The next morning, Captain James leads the Toretto task force through a debrief while Micki stews, waiting for her shame to be made public. James tees up security footage from the club showing Lady Toretto and oily stripper guy stealing her truck. Walker has a pretty good idea of stripper guy’s identity after he does his high school touchdown victory dance before jumping into the driver’s seat.
Walker later confronts the freshly showered and not naked stripper guy, Hoyt. Hoyt denies any knowledge or involvement in criminal activity. He’s just back in town to catch up with old friends and eat Momma Walker’s food.
Abeline is delighted to the point of giddiness to see Hoyt again. Bonham … not so much. Abby scolds him for trying to hide the good china and his top-shelf bourbon. Can’t he let the past be and give Hoyt a chance? No. No, he cannot. Bonham has obviously met Hoyt.
The family sits down to dinner and Hoyt fills them in on his recent ramblings. August is instantly smitten by the new coolest person in his life. Liam and Walker begin rattling off place names, wondering if Hoyt has visited any of them recently. Stella asks if it’s some kind of inside joke. Hoyt tells her they’re prisons before noting he’s not the only outlaw in the family. Bonham takes that as his cue to pick up his plate and finish his meal alone in the bunkhouse.
Hoyt shares the benefit of his experience with Stella, advising her on how to approach her upcoming court date. He tells her to put on a performance and turn on the tears. Liam counters with a procedural route and begs her not to take legal advice from a criminal. Walker tells them both to zip it.
“Enough with the whole ‘devil and angel over the shoulder’ routine.”
Bonham finds Micki lurking outside the house after On*Star sends her to the ranch. She wonders why the man who stole her truck is inside Bonham’s house?
“Wife invited him to dinner.”
Bonham is pretty sure that Micki won’t find any evidence tying Hoyt to her truck—certainly not enough to arrest him—and invites her down to the bunkhouse for steak and bourbon instead. Over drinks, he explains the history. Walker and Hoyt grew up together. Played football together. He says Hoyt had a rough life and Abby has a soft spot for strays. She can’t give up on him. Bonham cautions that Walker also has a blind spot for faces from the past. He suggests that someone needs to turn him around on that.
This is also a lovely scene that gives Mitch Pileggi the chance to hit some notes other than crusty or low-key shitty. More of this also, please.
Micki brings her concerns to Captain James the next day. He is aware but says they can’t pin anything on Hoyt and they don’t want to risk spooking Lady Toretto, so. James says right now, Walker is gaming it out. He’s hanging out with Hoyt convincing himself that he’s gathering intel and not crossing a line. James suggests that Micki should convince her partner otherwise.
Walker and Hoyt are at a storage facility in the middle of nowhere. Hoyt rolls up the door to reveal a pristine, vintage cherry red Mustang convertible.
Emily’s pristine, vintage, cherry red Mustang convertible.
It’s a sweet car, but good luck getting a body in its trunk.
It’s been 17 years since Walker last saw the car. He’s stunned that Hoyt still has it. Hoyt reminds him that he won it fair and square, but says that—after everything Walker has been through—he deserves the chance to win it back.
The last time Walker was in the car Emily was teaching him how to drive stick. She wouldn’t let him quit, even after he stalled out for the umpteenth time and the car’s transmission begged uncle. She pulled the Texas Rangers bobble head out of the glove compartment and plunked him on the dash. He nodded his smiling, non-judgy encouragement to Walker.
Walker drove them to the Side Step for poker night. They were broke and with nothing else to wager, Emily pulled out the title. Walker was stunned and appalled AS HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN. He rubbed the dash and said that after everything they just went through together, he was starting to get attached to her. Emily wondered if Walker had a name for her.
Anyway, Walker said they didn’t need money. Emily agrees that they didn’t … but their family did.
Right. Because wagering your classic car in a poker game against a player that you know cheats is a much better idea than just setting your price and selling it. What?
Hoyt and Walker pull up to the Side Step and honestly, this feels like one of those situations where Geri needs to take a page from Ellen Harvelle, pull out a shotgun, and send Hoyt right back out the door.
Geri pours four shots and Walker deals. Micki strolls in several hands later. Walker is nonplussed. She busts Hoyt’s balls and he asks if she wants a drink. After confirming he’s buying, Micki claps cuffs on him and arrests him for attempting to bribe a member of law enforcement. Walker seems to forget for a moment that he is also law enforcement. Micki tells him she’s checking his blind spot and reminding him there is a line.
Back at the station, Micki asks Walker if he’s starting to see the pattern yet. Hoyt. Stella. She says he wants to be everyone’s friend, even when they do something wrong. She tells Mister Conflict of Interest to cool his jets while she questions Hoyt. He coughs up the location of Lady Toretto’s big gun deal.
Shockingly, he lies.
James sends Micki and Walker into the warehouse to check it out. There are no guns—just the Mustang and the bobble head. Micki slides a note out from under the windshield wiper.
Dear Team Sassy Boots,
Sorry you guys suck. I still love you and look forward to that drink one day soon, Michelle. Here’s Emily’s car back, Walker. It was always hers. Tell Geri I love her.
P.S. We always knew it would end this way.
Hoyt calls Abby to tell her he can’t go mushroom hunting with her the next day. He apologizes for letting her down again. He seems genuinely regretful—but not enough to not crime. Hoyt tells Abby she’s the port in his storm. She hopes he finds still waters one of these days.
Stella is at the big bonfire being toasted by her friends for sneaking out on her last night of freedom. Neither of these girls is Belle. Which means she was either smart enough to stay home the night before her court date, her parents have already been deported, or Show has decided to just drop the whole immigration storyline altogether. I’m guessing it’s number 3.
August is also at the party, trying to impress Ruby with his sick dance moves and inability to hold his grandfather’s good liquor. Stella calls their dad and holds August’s hair while he pukes behind someone’s pickup. When Walker doesn’t pick up, she calls her uncle. Liam and Brett are busy picking up wedding cake samples. Brett assumes Stella is playing the get out of jail free card—AGAIN—but quickly changes his tune. August drunk? Brett’s not missing that for the world.
The Rangers roll up on the storage facility in the middle of nowhere to bust the gun deal. The criminals scatter and start shooting. Shooting shooting shooting shooting. Lady Toretto tosses a bag of money under a truck and makes a break for it. She’s nabbed before she hits the door. Hoyt rolls under the truck to scoop up the bag.
When the shooting stops, Hoyt slips out and hops into Micki’s truck. She and Walker watch as he drives away—or tries to. Micki tells Walker he was right—she should have activated the truck’s kill switch earlier. Hoyt chalks one up to Team Sassy Boots.
Stella is edgy and anxious the next morning before court. Rather than the Hoyt suggested Sunday best, she’s wearing a Fleetwood Mac concert tee. Which, maybe is her Sunday best,
Stella is mildly alarmed to see her father out of uniform. Walker says he doesn’t want to give the judge the wrong impression. He’s walking into court today as her father, not a Ranger. They will be traveling in style though in Emily’s Mustang. August asks if there’s a bucket in the back and I don’t think Baby will mind if I offer a DEATH! DEATH TO HE WHO WOULD DEFILE! on her behalf for old times sake.
Stella walks out of court with a suspended license, 100 hours of community service, and a fine Walker says she’s going to work off. With the tough love administered, Walker moves on to the comforting part of parental discipline. He drives out to the stretch of road where Emily taught him to drive. He tells August to get out and Stella to get in the driver’s seat. She still has a license for one more day—she’s going to learn to drive stick and be her brother’s pace car while he sweats it out. Tough love for all!
Walker patiently guides Stella from a dead stop into first gear—totally the hardest part to master when you’re learning—and my eyeballs suddenly got very dusty. Where did all this pollen come from in my house? Stella notices that Walker refers to the car as “her.” She asks what her name is. Walker puts the bobble head on the dash and basks in the moment, wisely not answering.
Walker airs Thursday at 8:00 p.m. (Eastern) on The CW. Follow Whitney on Twitter @Watcher_Whitney.