It’s Monday and it’s almost September. Just one more week of this August nightmare to get through.
And for those of us in Texas, we are 50 DAYS away from Early Voting. YEE-FUCKING-HAW.
Political Crap
The Trump Republican National Convention is in full swing (with help from former Apprentice producers, natch) as I type this, and have formally nominated their Grifter God their candidate during their roll call today.
This about sums it up:
2020 Roll Call of States:
Left: #DemConvention (AK, AZ, CO & HI)
Right: #RNC2020 (AK, AZ, CO & HI) pic.twitter.com/nJJXbIFJcj
— Jeremy Art (@cspanJeremy) August 24, 2020
And because he has to absorb all the oxygen, President Spray Tan Smear has already addressed the convention in a long, rambling — calling it a speech would be inaccurate … pack of lies. Let’s call it a collection of ridiculous lies that CNN turned away from halfway through because he was spreading so much disinformation about voting by mail. I’m not going to repeat his bullshit here because NO.
But if you missed today’s spewage, don’t worry. President Nazi Rally plans on addressing the convention every single day. Because OBVIOUSLY he does.
The convention is beginning in the shadow of a few remarkable events:
“What has he read?” Mary Trump asked her aunt.
“No. He doesn’t read,” Barry responded.
…
“Donald is out for Donald, period,” Barry said.
Mary questioned Barry about what he had accomplished on his own.
“I don’t know,” Barry said.
“Nothing,” Mary responded.
“Well he has five bankruptcies,” Barry said. (Trump’s companies filed for six corporate bankruptcies but he has never declared personal bankruptcy.)
“Good point. He did accomplish those all by his self,” Mary said.
“Yes, he did. Yes, he did. You can’t trust him,” Barry said.
Maryanne said on another occasion that her brother kept asking about Fox News. One day, Barry said, the president called her and said, “Did you watch Fox News?”
“No,” Barry said she told the president.
“Why not?” he said.
“I don’t watch much television at all,” Barry said she responded.
“What do you do?” the president asked.
“I read,” Barry replied.
“What do you read?” the president said.
“Books,” Barry said.
The president was incredulous. “You don’t watch Fox?”
- Today, the New York Attorney General sued the Trump Organization to force the company to provide information — including an interview with Eric — for an investigation they are conducting into whether it illegally inflated the value of its assets.
- At the end of last week, a federal judge threw out a lawsuit filed by President Fraudulent asking to block Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance’s subpoena for his financial records.
- President Spank Me was ordered to pay $44,100 in Stormy Daniels’ legal fees on Friday.
- Another tweet was flagged by Twitter for spreading crazy disinformation about voting, claiming in part that one could contract COVID from ballot drop boxes. Dangerous misinformation but also stupid!
- Loyal soldier Kellyanne “Alternative Facts” Conway, announced she’s leaving the White House after this week to focus on her family. Related: George Conway announced he would be leaving the Lincoln Project for the same reason. Their daughter, Claudia, had been pushing for emancipation, because can you imagine being raised in this insane household?
- Oh, and one of President Adulterer’s most dependable supporters, former Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr., has been revealed to be an enthusiastic cuckold. I don’t mean that in an internet-insult way, I mean he literally would get off watching his wife have sex with a Miami pool boy (something long-rumored but now proven). It’s a good time to dig up this old story: President Slimball’s former attorney/fixer, Michael Cohen, said he helped the Falwells get rid of some incriminating photos. In exchange, Falwell — who was a huge figure in the evangelical sphere at the time — endorsed President Two Corinthians over actual Baptist, Ted Cruz, potentially swinging the nomination in his favor.
Also, last week, Miles Taylor, the former chief of staff to then-Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen, came forward with this damning statement of support for Joe Biden:
NEW: Testimonial ad from Trump's Former DHS Chief of Staff @MilesTaylorUSA, declaring his support for Joe Biden and describing Trump's presidency as "terrifying" and "actively doing damage to our security."
WATCH & go to https://t.co/Nz2NiSCquN for more. pic.twitter.com/iChqOdIIew
— Republican Voters Against Trump (@RVAT2020) August 17, 2020
Taylor has since given interviews where “he told George Stephanopoulos that Trump wanted to hold off emergency aid to California in 2018, then going through devastating wildfires. The reason: the state’s governor, Jerry Brown, and later Gavin Newsom, ‘did not support him.'”
“As wildfires were burning down houses in the state, the president basically said to us, ‘I don’t care. These people haven’t done enough to deserve it. Cut off the money.’”
No fucking words.
#Unfit will be available on VOD on September 1, and I, for one, will be watching:
Going Viral
But Carnival Row was able to complete production in the Czech Republic.
Real Time With Bill Maher will return to the studio this week.
Sounds like Station 19 is going to take on both the pandemic and Black Lives Matter.
The Hills: New Beginnings might make the cast members live together and film in a quarantine bubble. DRAMA.
Frank Cullotta, Mobster who served as a consultant on the film Casino, died from COVID-19.
The Kentucky Derby, which will run on September 5, will not have any fans in attendance after all.
Major League Baseball had to cancel another series after two Mets tested positive.
A French nudist colony had a surge in COVID cases, and is now testing around 30% positivity. HUH. IT’S A MYSTERY!
All Other TV News
Interesting: Neil Gaiman has revealed that the Sandman adaptation at Netflix is going to be set in the present, and not in the 80s when it was originally published, so as to not be a “period piece.”
The Haunting of Bly Manor will debut this fall (check down below for some first look photos). Here are five things to know about this season.
So, Jeremy Strong, the actor who plays Kendall on Succession sounds … intense.
Sophie Turner has the Stark throne in her home and I’ve never been more jealous.
The fates of the Love Island couples, in the event you just HAD to know.
Some X-Files fan wrote lyrics to The X-Files‘ theme song and the cast sing it? Poorly? Like REALLY poorly? to raise money. Watch if you dare:
Lori Loughlin is going to jail for two months for the college admissions scandal. Bye, Aunt Becky.
And Joseph DeAngelo, the Golden State Killer, and subject of I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, received 26 life sentences without parole. Honestly, the death sentence would be too good for this fucking monster.
Cancellations
- Penny Dreadful: City of Angels has been canceled after only one season on Showtime.
- The Society and I Am Not Okay With This have been canceled by Netflix despite having been renewed for second seasons thanks to COVID-19.
In Development
- Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person, a one-hour dramedy, has been put into production at ABC.
- Never Have I Ever, a drama, has been picked up by Fox.
- The Essex Serpent, a period piece starring and produced by Kiera Knightley is coming to Apple TV+.
- Amy Stuart’s “Still” novels are being adapted for television by Cobie Smulders’ production company.
- Planet Sex, a documentary series in which actress, model, and singer Cara Delevingne explores issues of sexual and gender identity, is being produced by Hulu and BBC Three.
- A spinoff of The A Word has been ordered by BBC.
- The Following Events Are Based On A Pack Of Lies has been ordered at BBC One.
- Harry Bradbeer has signed a first-look deal with Amazon.
Casting News
- Alison Sweeney is returning to Days of Our Lives.
- James McAvoy will narrate Channel 4’s reality competition series, The Bridge.
Mark Your Calendar
- The Comey Rule will premiere on Showtime on September 27.
- Zack Snyder’s Justice League will be released in four one-hour segments on HBO Max in 2021.
- Raised by Wolves will debut on HBO Max on September 3.
- The Flash will return on The CW in January.
- Cobra Kai will premiere on Netflix next year.
- Anthony will premiere on Peacock on September 4.
- The Sit-In: Harry Belafonte Hosts the Tonight Show will premiere on Peacock on September 10.
- Black Boys will premiere on Peacock on September 10.
- A Most Beautiful Thing will premiere on Peacock on September 4.
- The Public will debut on Peacock on September 15.
- Kiss the Ground will debut on Netflix on September 22.
- The Haunting of Bly Manor will debut on Netflix this fall.
- The Kelly Clarkson Show will return on September 21.
- The News With Shepard Smith will premiere on CNBC on September 30.
- Equal will debut on HBO Max in October.
- Noughts + Crosses is coming to Peacock on September 4.
- What on Earth? returns on Science Channel on August 27.
- The VMAs will be broadcast not just on MTV, but across 12 other ViacomCBS channels, including The CW on August 30.
R.I.P.
Jack Tewksbury, Journalist and Hollywood Foreign Press Association member
Justin Townes Earle, Singer-songwriter, and son of musician Steve Earle
Frankie Banali, Quiet Riot drummer
Walter Lure, Co-founder of the punk band, the Heartbreakers
Jack Sherman, Original guitarist for Red Hot Chili Peppers
WATCH THIS
Republican National Convention: Presidential nomination by delegates 7 p.m., PBS, CNN, MSNBC, FOX News 9 p.m., ABC, CBS, NBC
Love Island: By “Island,” they mean a Las Vegas suite. And by “Love,” they mean … well, not love. Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
I May Destroy You: Arabella’s memories come back to her in the season finale. 8 p.m., HBO
Late Night:
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor, Tim McGraw, Laura Benanti
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Maisie Williams, Bright Eyes
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Dan Levy, Elle King, guest host David Spade
- The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
| MON. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Holey Moley II: The Sequel! (repeat) |
To Tell the Truth (repeat) |
Republican National Convention |
| CBS | Love Island (new) |
Republican National Convention |
| CW | Whose Line is it Anyway? (new) |
Whose Line is it Anyway? (repeat) |
Penn & Teller: Try This At Home Too (new) |
Local |
| FOX | The King’s Speech | News/Local |
| NBC | American Ninja Warrior (repeat) |
Republican National Convention |
Ah, the RNC! In which the re-nominated Walrus and Carpenter demonstrate their love for their followers – as foretold by the prophet Lewis Carroll.
Woah, what a comprehensive news round up. Did not know about The Apprentice producers, and def missed how strange Jeremy Strong is (though it doesn’t feel surprising somehow).