Maybe Steve Bannon shouldn’t have hired Barry Zuckerkorn. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s Thursday, so here’s a groundhog who does. not. give. a. fuck.

Political Crap

Last night was the third night of the Democratic National Convention, and they brought out the heavy hitters. Vice President nominee, Kamala Harris was the keynote speaker and did a lovely job, accepting the nomination and introducing herself to America.

But her best moment was:

You might be shocked to learn this didn’t sit well with President Predator.

Other women who spoke last night: the amazing Gabby Giffords who called for gun control; Elizabeth Warren, who called for childcare, called President Failure a failure, and hid some easter eggs in her set, including “BLM,” a tribute to the post office, and a reminder to vote on November 3 (check out the whole list in her twitter thread, it’s great); and one Hillary Clinton who served as a poignant reminder that we HAVE TO TAKE THIS ELECTION SERIOUSLY AND VOTE TO MAKE SURE THERE IS NO DOUBT.

But the speech that was the showstopper, the one that really got under that thin orange skin was President Obama who came out strong against President Colluder and made a case that democracy itself is on the line. “Here’s the point: This president and those in power… they are counting on your cynicism,” he said, adding that “this administration has shown that it will tear democracy down if that’s what it takes to win.”

“I have sat in the Oval Office with both of the men who are running for president. I never expected that my successor would embrace my vision or continue my policies. I did hope, for the sake of our country, that Donald Trump might show some interest in taking the job seriously; that he might come to feel the weight of the office and discover some reverence for the democracy that had been placed in his care.

“But he never did. For close to four years now, he’s shown no interest in putting in the work; no interest in finding common ground; no interest in using the awesome power of his office to help anyone but himself and his friends; no interest in treating the presidency as anything but one more reality show that he can use to get the attention he craves.

Donald Trump hasn’t grown into the job because he can’t. And the consequences of that failure are severe. 170,000 Americans dead. Millions of jobs gone while those at the top take in more than ever. Our worst impulses unleashed, our proud reputation around the world badly diminished, and our democratic institutions threatened like never before.”

Read the entire speech here.

LOL, you mad, bro?

Look, 1. he didn’t spy on the campaign — the FBI was investigating the Russians and you got caught talking to them and 2. Obama stayed out of the primary campaign to maintain some unity in the party. He understands politics unlike some melted brained idiots.

In more delicious news, Steve Bannon got his ass arrested, charged with defrauding donors to his We Build the Wall organization — the one whose wall fell over a few weeks ago. The best part of this story? THERE ARE NO VICTIMS HERE.

Also somewhat hilarious: After conning investors with a non-existent border wall, Bannon was arrested on a yacht by the USPS.

are those police boats arrested development

I KNEW Steve Bannon’s new look was familiar …

steve bannon oscar bluth

But wait, there is so much more we have to wade through. Some quick hits:

Finally, there is this interesting Vanity Fair excerpt from Brian Stelter’s upcoming book about Fox News and how they sold their soul to President Ratings.

Hannity chose this life, so no one felt sorry for him, but the stress took its toll. “Hannity would tell you, off-off-off the record, that Trump is a batshit crazy person,” one of his associates said. Another friend concurred: “Hannity has said to me more than once, ‘he’s crazy.’”

But Hannity’s commitment to GOP priorities and to his own business model meant he could never say any of this publicly. If one of his friends went on the record quoting Hannity questioning Trump’s mental fitness, that would be the end of the friendship.

Early on in the Trump age, Hannity gained weight and vaped incessantly, which some members of his inner circle blamed on Trump-related stress. “If you were hearing what I’m hearing, you’d be vaping too,” Hannity told a colleague.

Going Viral

Temptation Island is going to film in Maui for the next two months and Maui’s mayor is NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT.

A U.K. directors’ organization has made some suggestions regarding filming sex scenes in movies during COVID-19, and they consist of, “I mean, do you really need that sex scene? Have you considered just skipping it, maybe? You should check out old movies from the 30s and 40s.”

Speaking of: The Girlfriend Experience has begun filming again in the United Kingdom, so good luck with those “suggestions” of intimacy, guys!

And Ken Jeong has dropped out of the U.K. version of The Masked Singer thanks to travel restrictions.

The mayor of Los Angeles cut off the power and water to a house owned by a TikTok star, Bryce Hall, because the little asshole wouldn’t stop hosting parties even after being warned by the cops to cut that shit out.

A look at all the Hollywood relationships that have become victims of this virus.

The Batman has begun filming again in the U.K.

Black Lives Matter

Oh shit, all seven of the original writers on All Rise have quit over arguments with the White showrunner about depictions of race and gender on the show. The examples given are astounding: a pair of women have a conversation in which one of the women complains about how hard it is to live alone after she left her abusive husband, only to have the other woman suggest she have a one-night-stand. And if that’s not cringey enough, then a naked man runs onto the elevator they are on and they continue their conversation as if nothing is happening. NOPE.

And then there’s this:

A later episode, with a script credited to Greg Nelson, a white colleague of Mr. Spottiswood’s from his days in Canadian television, included a subplot about a gang of Latin American teenagers who terrorize citizens with machetes in the hills of Los Angeles. That story line seemed false and offensive to a Latin American writer on the staff, as well as to the cast member Ms. Mendez, Ms. Edwards said.

“She felt that she could not in good conscience appear in the episode as written,” Ms. Edwards wrote in the email to the producers. (Ms. Mendez didn’t respond to requests for comment.) Mr. Spottiswood agreed to cut the machete subplot after he learned of Ms. Mendez’s complaints.

As I’m sure you’ve seen by now, Dolly Parton said that of course Black lives matter. She also explained why she removed the word “Dixie” from her attraction, The Stampede: “There’s such a thing as innocent ignorance, and so many of us are guilty of that,” Parton says. “When they said ‘Dixie’ was an offensive word, I thought, ‘Well, I don’t want to offend anybody. This is a business. We’ll just call it ‘The Stampede.’ As soon as you realize that [something] is a problem, you should fix it. Don’t be a dumbass.” INDEED.

Wow. So, the star of the animated series Squidbillies was fired after he made Facebook posts attacking Dolly Parton for supporting Black Lives Matter. I will NOT repeat what he said about American treasure, Dolly Parton, but let me just say that I hope his momma saw it and had a few choice words with him.

UPDATE: He’s not sorry.

Julie Chen explains that her sign-offs on Big Brother, in which she urged people to be good to each other and obey the Golden Rule, is not some sort of cryptic clue, but instead about the Black Lives Matter movement.

Lucifer is going to have a Black Lives Matter episode in the sixth season.

A few months ago, a Birmingham Fox affiliate was doing an interview with Maxwell Pearce, a Harlem Globetrotter, when the anchors — and I am not making this up — threw a banana at him. What the actual fuck?

Kenya Barris is producing a Netflix documentary on civil rights attorney Ben Crump.

The president of Criterion acknowledges that there are not enough Black voices in the Criterion Collection, in which out of 1,034 films, only 9 are by Black directors. (And Spike Lee counts for two of those films.)

If you’re interested, here’s a quick rundown on how network shows plan on dealing with this Black Lives Matter moment, and telling police stories in a new way.

All Other TV News

This is interesting: comparing viewers’ ratings between IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes, these are the most divisive shows on Netflix.

Maisie Williams is so glad you people don’t bother her for spoilers anymore and who can blame her?

All of the 30 for 30 documentaries are available on ESPN+, sports fans.

Saved by the Bell is going to host a “socially distanced” pop-up in Chicago, Los Angeles, and New York. OK.

Thom Brennaman, the Cincinnati Red’s announcer, was pulled from the broadcast midway after a hot mic caught him making a homophobic slur about Kansas City. Wait, wut?

Discovery is “distancing” itself from the star of Homestead Rescue, Marty Raney, after it was revealed he recorded a deeply homophobic song in 1997 called, profoundly unoriginally, “Adam & Steve.” The lyrics are almost like something out of a sketch making fun of homophobes.



  • Drunk History has been canceled, and the seventh season, which they had been working on, will not be completed. OH COME ON. Does someone want to come pick this one up, please?

In Development

  • Girlworld, a feminist comedy from Kimmy Gatewood and Alison Becker, has been bought by Amazon.
  • Verbatim, an anthology series, has been given a pilot order at HBO.

Casting News

  • Neil Sandilands is set to co-star in Sweet Tooth.
  • Aleyse Shannon is joining the reboot of Leverage on IMDb.
  • Tom Hardy will narrate the Tottenham Hotspurs documentary, All or Nothing, which will stream on Amazon.

Mark Your Calendars

  • The Right Stuff will premiere on Disney+ on October 9.
  • The Crown returns on Netflix on November 15.

  • Justice League: The Snyder Cut will debut on HBO Max sometime in 2021.

  • Tyler Perry’s House of Payne and Tyler Perry’s Assisted Living will air on BET on September 2.
  • Ravi Patel’s Pursuit of Happiness will debut on HBO Max on August 27.
  • The Bradshaw Bunch returns on E! on September 17.
  • Madagascar: A Little Wild will debut on Hulu and Peacock on September 7.
  • Life After Lockup will return on WEtv on September 11.
  • All episodes of Once Upon a Time will be available on Disney+ on September 18.
  • Huracán will air and stream on HBO and HBO Max on September 11.
  • We Got This will debut on Sundance Now on September 3.


Mary Hartline, One of television’s first stars and sex symbols on ABC’s Super Circus


Democratic National Convention: Senator Cory Booker, Governor Gavin Newsom, Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Senator Tammy Baldwin, Senator Tammy Duckworth, Senator Chris Coons, The Biden Family, and Vice President Joe Biden 7 p.m., PBS, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News 9 p.m., ABC, CBS, NBC

Singletown: Couples are split up and moved into an apartment complex where they are encouraged to date other people. OH MY GOD, SOMEONE HAS MADE A SHOW OUT OF GOB’S “FUCK CITY” IDEA. Series premiere. HBO Max

arrested development fuck city

John Was Trying to Contact Aliens: A documentary about a dude who spent 30 years broadcasting music into outerspace. Netflix

HBO Max Stand-Up Specials: HBO Max is dumping a bunch of stand-up specials today from Beth Stelling; James Veitch; Rose Matafeo; and the Ha Comedy Festival. HBO Max

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Rachel Maddow, Fred Armisen, Tiwa Savage
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kenan Thompson, Busy Philipps, Thomas Land
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Hillary Rodham Clinton
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Lili Reinhart, Anitta
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Cori Bush, Deon Forrest, guest host Anthony Anderson
  • The Daily Show: The Daily Social Distancing Show
THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Holey Moley
To Tell the Truth
Democratic National Convention
CBS Big Brother
Young Sheldon
The Unicorn
Democratic National Convention
CW Mysteries Decoded
Penn & Teller: Fool Us
FOX Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back
NBC The Wall
Law & Order: SVU
Democratic National Convention

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