So, the Oscars happened. Not that anyone watched according to the ratings. Maybe it’s time to bring back a host?

The Oscars was last night and it was ONE THOUSAND AND NINE HOURS LONG. Your trusty blogger did not, in fact, blog it live or otherwise, but instead played Candy Crush and half paid attention to what was going on. Here’s what we missed:

The night started off with a nod to TV as Janelle Mon√°e donned a Mister Rogers sweater and sang “Won’t You Be My Neighbor” before segueing into “Come Alive.” Which, OK, but did any of y’all think it was … weird to have back-up dancers dressed as characters from 1917, Midsommar and Us?

The big winner of the night was Parasite, which became the first foreign-language film to win Best Picture. This was a big damn deal.

If you haven’t seen Parasite yet, you can buy it on Amazon Video or rent it on iTunes (and you should do so, it’s terrific). And here’s where you can stream Bong Joon Ho’s other films.¬† Also, here’s everything to know about the upcoming HBO miniseries based on Parasite. I. CAN’T. WAIT.

Here are all the winners from last night. (Hooray to Katy, TX native Renee Zellweger!)

As for TV-adjacent Oscar news:

Bombshell, the film based on the Fox News sexual harassment scandal, won Outstanding  Makeup and Hairstyling for making Charlize Theron look EXACTLY like Megyn Kelly.

American Factory, a Netflix documentary, won Outstanding Documentary Feature, pleasing producers Michelle and Barack Obama.

Otherwise, Netflix didn’t do great last night. After 24 nominations, they only won two Oscars.

The only big political moment of the night came when Oscar-winner Brad Pitt called out the Senate Republicans for not having John Bolton testify. PREACH, BRAD.

Chrissy Metz lived Kate’s dream on The Oscars.

HOW DO YOU LEAVE LUKE PERRY OUT OF THE IN MEMORIAM? ONE OF HIS LAST ROLES WAS IN ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD, YOU DOLTS.

Oh, and no one watched last night. Maybe it’s time to bring back a host? I nominate Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Will Ferrell.

juli louis dreyfus will ferrell i know oscars

Finally, this ad was rejected by ABC for airing during the Oscar broadcast for being “too graphic.” People are not happy.

I neglected to mention this in my weekly TV roundup, but The Conners are going to go live tomorrow night, and will be commenting on the New Hampshire primary as it happens. Interesting.

Oh, Heidi Klum, honey, absolutely not. One: you ARE a white woman and Two: it’s not an insult. It just means that maybe your experience on the set of America’s Got Talent was different from a black woman’s experience.

The Ray Donovan showrunner has not ruled out some sort of revival. Good luck with that!

Sympathies for all of y’all who got those early “Anaconda” tattoos:

A possible synopsis of the upcoming Resident Evil series on Netflix has been uncovered, if you are interested.

We love Kumail Nanjiani’s dad:

How … wait … wait … Hoda Kotb had never met Oprah Winfrey until last Friday? HOW?

Renewals

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendar

  • Most Dangerous Game will debut on Quibi in April.
  • Genius: Aretha will premiere on Nat Geo on May 25.
  • Survive will premiere on Quibi in April. It looks intense.
  • Disney’s Fairy Tale Weddings will premiere on Disney+ on February 14.
  • Power Book II: Ghost will premiere on Starz this summer.
  • Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears will begin streaming on Acorn on March 23.
  • Glitch Tech will debut on Netflix on February 21..
  • Shop Class will debut on Disney+ on February 28.

R.I.P.

Robert Conrad, Actor best known for The Wild Wild West

Orson Bean, Actor in everything from The Twilight Zone to Desperate Housewives, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and The Facts of Life

Kevin Conway, Actor in Oz, The Outer Limits and The Black Donnellys

Dyanne Thorne, Actress who had appeared on Star Trek, among many other shows and films

WATCH THIS

The Bachelor: Peter talks to his mom. This is a reminder that Peter LIVES WITH HIS MOM. 7 p.m., ABC

America’s Got Talent: The Champions: The top ten acts perform. 7 p.m., NBC

Parkland: Healing a Community and a Nation: A documentary about how the kids of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School turned their unimaginable tragedy into a movement for change. 9 p.m., PBS

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Janet Jackson, Jane Levy, Jo Firestone
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Claire Danes, Zach Woods, Gov. Gavin Newsom, drummer Elijah Wood
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: John Oliver, Alex Ebert
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Dr. Phil McGraw, Lana Condor, Green Day
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Harrison Ford, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, Lil Yachty & Sueco the Child
  • The Daily Show: Tochi Onyebuchi
  • Conan: Elijah Wood
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Sam Moril, Fortune Feimster, Sarah Tiana
  • Watch What Happens Live: “Below Deck” Reunion Show
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Joseph Gordon-Levitt

 

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Bachelor
(new)
The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Neighbor-hood
(new)
Bob Hearts Abishola
(new)
All Rise
(new)
Bull
(new)
CW All American
(new)
Black Lightning
(new)
Local
FOX 9-1-1: Lone Star
(new)
Prodigal Son
(new)
News/Local
NBC America’s Got Talent: The Champions
(new)
Manifest
(new)

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