Dummy Jr. went on ‘The View’ today and the audience very nearly tore him limb-from-limb. IT WAS AMAZING.

Dummy Jr. and his girlfriend, former Fox News lady Kimberly Guilfoyle went on The View this morning and YOU GUYS, it was incredible.

First of all, exactly NO ONE on the panel was in Dummy or Guilfoyle’s corner which led to tensions from the get-go. So when Abby Huntsman began the discussion by challenging Dummy on tweeting out the supposed name of the whistleblower it was gloves off. Everyone was yelling over everyone else and then the audience got into it, screaming and booing Dummy so viciously, Whoopi and the producers had to tell everyone to calm their shit.

Then Meghan McCain used her time to give Dummy shit for his father treating Gold Star families like trash (the subtext being that his dad also treated her dad like trash), and then everyone yelled at each other about everything from blackface to grab ’em by the pussy to Jeffrey Epstein to Roman Polanski to Mexican rapists to Julian Assange to Louis C.K. to Trump Hotels to how he’s not profiting off of his father’s presidency and IT WAS REALLY SOMETHING.

The view (~high five~) from someone who was there.

I don’t usually include The View clips here but holy shit, you guys, it is worth it:

President Reality Show is in talks with Mark Burnett about some post-presidency TV shows, including The Apprentice: White House. Because 1. of course this asshole is going to make sure he profits from the presidency long after he is president and 2. the White House hasn’t been debased enough by this man. I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU GUYS.

We now know the title of the first episode of Stranger Things, season four: “The Hellfire Club.” Apparently, it’s an X-Men reference to a group who kidnaps Jean Grey, a mutant with psychic abilities. SO LOOKOUT, ELEVEN.

Personally, I am not a fan of the blooper reel, but I recognize that others are. To that end, enjoy:

Disney+ plans on delivering up to 10 new films a year, and they will be WHOLESOME, DAMMIT.

Even the head of Netflix plans on subscribing to Disney+.

Reed Hastings also brushed off criticism of their decision to edit Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj as “We’re just an entertainment company, whaddya want?” which is some bullshit.

The Boys was planning on shooting a fantastically violent scene at a Toronto location that was the spot of a terrorist attack in 2018, and Toronto was like, “OH HELL NO.” So now they’re looking into another location. I mean, ya think?

Kelsey Grammer is threatening that filming on a Frasier revival could begin as early as next year. Super.

The Democrats will have to find a new venue for their December debate because the original host, UCLA, is in a dispute with a labor union.

On the same day The Real Housewives of New Jersey returned on Bravo, the Giudice family was reunited in Italy. While Meatball and Teresa are GODDAMNED NIGHTMARES, this whole story really bums me out for those kiddos.

LGBTQ characters are now a full 10% of characters on broadcast TV, an all-time high. Good job, guys!

Uh-oh, Kevin O’Leary, were you driving the boat that killed those people and worse, are you pinning it on your wife?

Impeachment Corner!

Where to begin today? Maybe with my favorite story of the past 24 hours: even Attorney General Bill Barr has a limit. According to the Washington Post, President Individual Number One demanded that Barr make a public statement saying that The Phone Call was “perfect” and broke no laws. Barr was like, “OH HELL NO, DON’T DRAG ME INTO THIS MESS.” Furthermore, the press secretary for the Department of Justice went out of her way to say that Barr has had no contact with Rudy Giuliani about anything to do with Ukraine. Though the Justice Department declined to investigate whether the phone call violated campaign finance laws (which is why the House is having to do their own investigation which we are bearing witness to right now), according to this article, they were the ones who urged the White House to release the transcript, insisting that if people just saw it, the whole mess would go away. LOL LOL LOL.

Right now, Jennifer Williams, a national security aid to Mike Pence is giving testimony. She apparently was also listening in to the call when it happened, so stay tuned.

As for the deposition that was released yesterday, that of current ambassador to Ukraine, Bill Taylor, some key points:

  • Taylor made it perfectly clear it was quid pro quo:

Taylor: That was my clear understanding, security assistance money would not come until the President committed to pursue the investigation.

Schiff: So if they don’t do this, they are not going to get that was your understanding?

Taylor: Yes, sir.

Schiff: Are you aware that quid pro quo literally means, “this for that?”

Taylor: I am.

obama-mic-drop-real

  • Taylor explained why asking Ukraine to investigate the Bidens or the 2016 election was a nightmare scenario that would benefit the Russians:

‘The nightmare’ is the scenario where President Zelensky goes out in public, makes an announcement that he’s going to investigate Burisma and the election in 2016, interference in 2016 election, maybe among other things. He might put that in some series of investigations.”

“‘The nightmare was he would mention those two, take all the heat from that, get himself in big trouble in this country and probably in his country as well, and the security assistance would not be released. That was the nightmare. The Russians loving it. The Russians are paying attention. The Russians are paying attention to how much support the Americans are going to provide the Ukrainians.”

Basically, President Quid Pro Nope was forcing a country under threat from the Russians into the middle of an American political battle that might leave them without any military money at all. Either they state that they were doing an investigation into Biden — and risk the Democrats cutting off future military aid — or they don’t get the military aid already promised them. No matter what: Putin wins.

Taylor: “I think this was also about the time of the Greenland question, about purchasing Greenland, which took up a lot of energy in the N.S.C.”

Schiff: “Okay. That’s disturbing for a whole different reason.”

Taylor: “Different story. Different story.”

George Kent’s deposition has just been released. The former Deputy Assistant Secretary for European and Eurasian Affairs will testify with Bill Taylor next week.

Speaking of Bolton, he’s saying that he’s willing to testify to Congress — as long as the courts clear the way. But Congress is like, “TICK TOCK, MOTHERFUCKER. EITHER SHOW UP OR DON’T, WE DON’T CARE, BUT WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO PLAY A BUNCH OF COURTROOM GAMES WITH YOUR WALRUS ASS. IF YOU DON’T SHOW UP OF YOUR OWN VOLITION, WE’LL JUST ADD IT TO THE OBSTRUCTION CHARGES. DO WHAT YOU WANT.”

Meanwhile, President Hypocrisy and his allies are still screaming that the whistleblower be forced to testify in the inquiry and maybe the Bidens, too? The circus of distraction is afoot! (And speaking of, President Distraction has scheduled a visit to the White House for Turkey’s President Erdogan for Wednesday, November 13. The same day Ambassador Taylor is going to be testifying on television. After all, Fox News is going to need to broadcast something.)

President Twatter is also whining about his lack of due process with a complete lack of understanding how any of this works, because President I LOVE THE CONSTITUTION has never actually read the Constitution.

See, President Dummy, the impeachment process is divided up into two parts that are run by the two houses of Congress: the House and the Senate. The House investigates whether there is cause to bring impeachment — the hearing process that we are in right now — and if they decide there is enough cause, they draw up Articles of Impeachment. You don’t get to bring a lawyer to this part of it, sorta like how if the cops are investigating a man for murdering his wife, he doesn’t get to throw his lawyer into the middle of the investigation. He can lawyer up, of course, but that lawyer gets fucking zero say in how the investigation proceeds. The second part of the impeachment process is the actual trial and that’s where your lawyer gets involved. And let me just say: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHOOSE RUDY TO BE THAT LAWYER.

ELSEWHERE, and unrelated (but not AT ALL) to the impeachment story being written by the House Democrats:

The State of New York has won a judgment against the fake Trump Foundation charity, for using $2.8 million in charitable funds on his 2016 election and for other personal uses. They have to pay $2 million to charities to make this right. These people are the very fucking worst, I swear to Christ.

And then there’s Roger Stone, that steampunk troll friend of President Grifter, he’s on trial for make false statements to the FBI and witness tampering, and the prosecutors, they seem to have A SHIT TON of evidence that Stone was in touch with President Liar and his campaign about Wikileaks dropping the hacked Democratic emails in real time. Basically, President Election Thief, he was in the loop and he fucking colluded with the goddamned Russians even if Bill Barr claims otherwise.

Momma needs a stiff drink or five, you guys.

Sex Monster News

Oh, T.I., this doesn’t seem like something that needs to be said out loud, but guess what, motherfucker: you don’t get a say on the condition of your daughter’s hymen — YOU DON’T GET TO KNOW WHAT IT IS AT ALL, IN FACT — and while it’s not the worst part of this whole story, you certainly DON’T DISCUSS HER BODY IN PUBLIC. What in the actual fuck is wrong with you, you monster? (Oh, and is the original podcast down now? GEE, WHY?)

Goddammit, ABC News. Project Veritas — which is a bullshit organization run by a known fraudster who edits videos — got their hands on a hot mic video of 20/20 co-anchor Amy Robach complaining about how ABC News shut down an investigation she had done on Jeffrey Epstein. In the video, Robach says:

“I had this interview with Virginia Roberts. We would not put it on the air. First of all, I was told, ‘Who’s Jeffrey Epstein? No one knows who that is. This is a stupid story. Then the palace found out that we had her whole allegations about Prince Andrew and threatened us a million different ways. We were so afraid we wouldn’t be able to interview Kate and Will that we, that also quashed the story.”

Robach said that Roberts “told me everything. She had pictures. She had everything.”

“It was unbelievable what we had. Clinton. We had everything. I tried for three years to get it on to no avail and now it is all coming out and it is like these new revelations and I freaking had all of it.”

In a statement, Robach claims that she was frustrated that they couldn’t run the story because “we could not obtain sufficient corroborating evidence to meet ABC’s editorial standards.” She added that the allegations against Clinton and Prince Andrew could not be corroborated by ABC News. And it should be known that since 2015, ABC News has run some two dozen stories about Epstein, so it’s not like they are afraid of that particular area. But still.

Reportedly, CBS News has fired a staffer who had access to the recording, after ABC News alerted them. ABC News did confirm that they had told CBS News “as a courtesy.” Anyway. What a fucking mess.

Meanwhile — and somewhat ironically — the woman at the center of this story, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, has given her story to 60 Minutes Australia, complete with pictures of herself with Prince Andrew. (I can’t figure out what, if any, the relationship is between 60 Minutes Australia and CBS News, so, you know.)

Summer Zervos might be able to prove her case against President Grab ‘Em by the Pussy through phone records.

Dammit, Washington Post, fix this.

Renewals

  • Servant has been renewed for a second season at Apple TV+.

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

R.I.P.

William Wintersole, The Young and the Restless actor, among many, many other series.

Frank Avruch, The 1960s Bozo the Clown

Christopher Dennis, Hollywood Walk of Fame Superman

WATCH THIS

Supernatural: The boys get back to cases-of-the-week. 7 p.m., The CW

Conan Without Borders: Conan goes to Ghana. 9 p.m., TBS

The Impeachment Show: If my daily impeachment updates aren’t enough for you … 9 p.m., Viceland

Urban Cowboy: Required viewing. 6:30 p.m., CMT

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Matthew McConaughey, Chip & Joanna Gaines, Gucci Mane
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: John Cena, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Brendan Buckley
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Helen Mirren, Ian McKellen, “MasterChef Junior” contestants
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jane Krakowski, Paul Feig, Chvrches
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Josh Gad, Jonathan Groff, Teskey Brothers
  • The Daily Show: Jenny Slate
  • Conan: Lil Rel Howery
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Pete Holmes, Hannah Hart, Jim Jeffries
  • Watch What Happens Live: Hailee Steinfeld, Leslie Odom Jr.
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Mackenzie Davis, Natalia Reyes, Diego Boneta, Gabriel Luna
THUR 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Grey’s Anatomy
(new)
A Million Little Things
(new)
How to Get Away With Murder
(new)
CBS Young Sheldon
(new)
The Unicorn
(new)
Mom
(new)
Carol’s Second Act
(new)
Evil
(new)
CW Supernatural
(new)
Legacies
(new)
News/Local
FOX Thursday Night Football
(live)
News/Local
NBC Super-store
(new)
Perfect Harmony
(new)
The Good Place
(new)
Will & Grace
(new)
Law & Order: SVU
(new)

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