We’re finally getting our (first) movie about the Trump kakistocracy! Let’s cast it!

Y’all. CBS Studios is making a miniseries based on James Comey’s memoir, A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies and Leadership, and Jeff Daniels is going to star as Comey.

It’s unclear where the miniseries will air: CBS All Access or Showtime, but who cares, GIMME — and I probably shouldn’t write this, but I would pay for CBS All Access to watch this. Because did you watch HBO’s Game Change? You should watch HBO’s Game Change.

Also already cast: Brendan Gleeson as President Mad-Eye and Moody; Michael Kelly as Andrew McCabe; Jennifer Ehle as Patrice Comey.

mad eye moody make face stick tongue out ugly.gif

BRILLIANT. Now they need to cast Kieran Culkin as Stephen Miller and Josh Brolin as Rick Perry (h/t to my sister for those), Jeremy Strong from Succession as Dummy Jr., Kristin Chenoweth as Kellyanne Conway, Meryl Streep as Hillary Clinton, and a broom with lipstick as Melania. Other suggestions?

Impeachment Corner!

Today’s big news in our ongoing shitshow is that the ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, Mr. “Call Me” in the texts about the Ukrainian deal, he was scheduled to testify to the House Intelligence Committee today — he flew back to the States for it and everything! — only for the White House and State Department sandbag those plans at the last minute. And this asshole, he’s so proud of himself:

First of all, that’s the wrong apostrophe in “Republican’s”; second of all, it wasn’t a tweet, it was a text; third, you left off the part where Sondland tells Ambassador Taylor to call him because he doesn’t want a written record; and fourth, its funny how you neglected to mention the part where Sondland called you before sending that “tweet” to Taylor insisting there was no quid pro quo.

However, Adam Schiff has made it clear that pulling this kind of bullshit — blocking witnesses and evidence (did I mention the part where the State Department has Sondland’s phone and won’t hand it over?) — would become just another article of impeachment, specifically one for obstruction of justice.

So first, they are going to formally subpoena Sondland and his goddamned phone and then, when he refuses to testify again, Congress will have a few more weapons in their back pocket, including potentially, having Sondland arrested by the Sergeant of Arms. (They will not have him arrested because the House Democrats don’t play as tough as the Republicans. Which is a damn shame because their unwillingness to impose consequences on the Trumpies for not cooperating has just encouraged them to not cooperate.) But they will definitely add this to the articles of impeachment if Sondland doesn’t cooperate, so that’s something.

Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani who has also refused to testify in front of the House Intelligence Committee has been invited by Lindsey Graham to testify in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Kamala Harris is already licking her chops.

do it breaking bad gus fring

Also, there’s a great piece in Vanity Fair about how Mitt Romney “could have tremendous influence in the impeachment process as the lone voice of conscience in the Republican caucus,” and has been reaching out privately to more moderate members of the party like Susan Collins and Ben Sasse. I mean, I’m REALLY TRYING to not get my hopes up here, guys, but who am I kidding?

Because you add to that this recent poll that shows now a full 58% of Americans support the impeachment inquiry and 49% (NEARLY HALF!) support removing his fat ass, and we’re starting to get somewhere. “Since a July poll by The Post and ABC, there has been movement toward an impeachment inquiry among all three groups, with support for the inquiry rising by 25 points among Democrats, 21 points among Republicans and 20 points among independents.” 21 POINTS AMONG REPUBLICANS, YOU GUYS. Oh, and it should be noted that when 58% of Americans supported the impeachment inquiry, Nixon RESIGNED. Not that that will happen here, but a girl can dream.

phoebe waller-bridge fleabag smile maybe

In Other TV News

Ellen DeGeneres was screamed at by people on Twitter after having been filmed sitting and joking with George W. Bush at a Cowboys game and she had to go on her show and explain that she is sometimes friends with people who have different views than her. The problem here is that Bush — as amicable and friendly as he might be — he literally campaigned on a platform of stripping homosexuals of rights, including proposing a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. I’m not saying she had to be rude to him, but she needs to understand that there are very good reasons she might be criticized for this.

“We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” — James Baldwin

A quick sportsball story: so the general manager of the Houston Rockets, Daryl Morey, on Friday tweeted out an image of the Hong Kong protests with the message: “Fight for freedom, stand with Hong Kong.” You know, YAY, DEMOCRACY! In response, China said FUCK YOU to the NBA and the Houston Rockets in particular — who happen to be the most popular team in China thanks to Yao Ming — and declared they would not be broadcasting their preseason games and sponsors would be halting their relationships with the team. The NBA, panicked, apologized to Chinese fans with this statement: “We recognize that the views expressed by Houston Rockets general manager Daryl Morey have deeply offended many of our friends and fans in China, which is regrettable. While Daryl has made it clear that his tweet does not represent the Rockets or the NBA, the values of the league support individuals’ educating themselves and sharing their views on matters important to them.” And Morey was forced to delete the tweet and apologize. In response to THAT, politicians and pro-democracy folks across the political spectrum decried the NBA and the Rockets for groveling to China. I mean, when Beto and Rafael are in agreement … :

(But before we go all crazy congratulating Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio and other Republican politicians for saying the right thing in a sports-related first amendment, be sure to go back and check what their position was on Colin Kaepernick.)

In contrast, South Park tackled the issue of Chinese censorship in their most recent episode, and the Chinese promptly scrubbed any trace of South Park from streaming services, social media, and even fan sites. In response, South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker released this statement:

“Like the NBA, we welcome the Chinese censors into our homes and into our hearts. We too love money more than freedom and democracy. Xi doesn’t look like Winnie the Pooh at all. Tune into our 300th episode this Wednesday at 10! Long live the great Communist Party of China. May the autumn’s sorghum harvest be bountiful. We good now China?”

friday-damn

THAT’S WHAT A BACKBONE LOOKS LIKE, TILLMAN FERTITTA.

Hey, sounds like people are growing tired of The Walking Dead. Not that it matters.

Y’all, Sesame Street is still going to be available for free on PBS. Calm your shit.

Alex Trebek discusses potentially having to leave Jeopardy! but it doesn’t mean anything BECAUSE HE’S NOT ALLOWED TO GO ANYWHERE.

The BAFTAs have changed the rules so that British (or “British”) shows that debut on American networks can still qualify for the awards. Thanks, Killing Eve! Meanwhile, the BBC, they are sad that British talent is being gobbled up by Netflix and Amazon. SO SAD, TOO BAD. And while we’re in this British nook, in preparation to play Princess Margaret on The Crown, Helena Bonham Carter consulted a psychic, and I think that’s just fine. Why not? Princess Margaret gave her smoking tips.

Letterkenny is going international.

I … love this?

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The soundtrack to my life…

A post shared by Pusha T (@kingpush) on

Lori Loughlin is staring down real time in the college admissions scandal because she didn’t make nice like Felicity Huffman. GOOD.

A copyright lawsuit against Billions has been dropped.

SAG-AFTRA has issued a STERNLY WORDED RESOLUTION about not shitting on journalists, a resolution which is directed at one of their members: President Reality Show.

Rob Zombie’s guitarist is a Brady Bunch superfan, and I’m here for it.

Cameron Mathison says he’s cancer-free! Yay!

Renewals

  • A correction from yesterday: Prodigal Son hasn’t been renewed for a new season, it’s just been given an additional episode order, giving it a full first season rather than just 13 episodes.
  • Search Party has been renewed for two more seasons, (three and four) and is moving to HBO Max.
  • Couples Therapy has been renewed for a second season at Showtime.
  • Gabby Duran has been renewed for a second season ahead of its premiere on the Disney Channel.

Cancellations

In Development

  • Bridge & Tunnel, a soapy drama, is in the works at ABC.
  • Homicide Special, a cop series, is being developed at ABC.
  • A Moment in Time, a docuseries about celebrities’ legal dramas, is being produced by 50 Cent’s production companies.
  • 60 in 6, a news program from 60 Minutes, is coming to Quibi.

Casting News

Mark Your Calendars

  • Vikings returns on History on December 4.
  • The Elephant Queen will debut on Apple TV+ on November 1.
  • The Kominsky Method will return on Netflix on October 25.
  • Unnatural Selection will debut on Netflix on October 18.
  • Castle Rock returns on Hulu on October 23.
  • Daybreak will debut on Netflix on October 24.
  • Queer Eye: We’re in Japan! will debut on Netflix on November 1.
  • Tell Me Who I Am will debut on Netflix on October 18 and it looks INTENSE.
  • Joe Bob’s Halloween Hootenanny will debut on Shudder on October 25.
  • Todd MacFarlane: A Documentary will debut on Syfy soon.
  • Atlantics will premiere on Netflix and in theaters on November 29.

R.I.P.

Karen Pendleton, Original Mousketeer

Paul LeBlanc, Hairstylist for Princess Leia among others

WATCH THIS

ASTROS!: Because the Astros couldn’t finish the job yesterday ~glares at Greinke~ we have to play tonight. Come on, Verlander, let’s take care of this already. 6 p.m., FSN

The Flash: Barry and Iris deal with the loss of Nora in the season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

Finding Your Roots: In the season premiere, Henry Louis Gates drops some DNA truth bombs on “Hollywood royalty” — Isabella Rossellini, Anjelica Huston, and Mia Farrow. 7 p.m., PBS

Deon Cole: Cole Hearted: Deon Cole’s bits on Conan are still some of my very favorites. I’m sure you could not care less, but I felt I needed to share that with you. Netflix

Late Night:

  • Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Clive Owen, Elsie Fisher, Lewis Capaldi
  • Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kenan Thompson, David Remnick, Steve Gorman
  • The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Will Smith, Andrew Scott
  • The Late Late Show with James Corden: Bradley Whitford, King Calaway
  • Jimmy Kimmel Live: Tyler Perry, Sunny Hostin, Gina Brillon
  • The Daily Show: Susan Rice
  • Lights Out with David Spade: Brett Gelman, Chris Jericho, Megan Gailey
  • Watch What Happens Live: Lauren Lapkus, Emily Simpson
  • A Little Late with Lily Singh: Natalie Portman

 

TUES. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC The Conners
(new)
Bless This Mess
(new)
mixed-ish
(new)
black-ish
(new)
Emergence
(new)
CBS NCIS
(new)
FBI
(new)
NCIS: New Orleans
(new)
CW The Flash
(new)
Batwoman
(repeat)
Local
FOX The Resident
(new)
Empire
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
This Is Us
(new)
New Amsterdam
(new)

3 thoughts on “We’re finally getting our (first) movie about the Trump kakistocracy! Let’s cast it!

  1. Also, TWD numbers are a bummer because last season was actually good and I enjoyed this first episode. They lost a ton of viewers with the two or three seasons prior to last year, rightfully so I think but it’s worth jumping back into I think.

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