President Conman was going on about something yesterday, maybe to distract us from the fact that we are on the brink of war with Iran, or maybe to distract us from the fact that he admitted he was awaiting orders from Saudi Arabia on our foreign policy, maybe to distract us from the fact that his tariff war has cost us 300,000 jobs so far and is on track to cost us 900,000 jobs in the next year, or maybe that his poll numbers continue to go down the tubes, WHO EVEN KNOWS, it’s a smorgasbord of horseshit to choose from, really. But ANYWAY, one of the crazy things that he latched onto was that Congress should investigate the Obamas for their post-White House Netflix deal.
….work that way. I have a better idea. Look at the Obama Book Deal, or the ridiculous Netflix deal. Then look at all the deals made by the Dems in Congress, the “Congressional Slush Fund,” and lastly the IG Reports. Take a look at them. Those investigations would be over FAST!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 16, 2019
….for the privilege of being your President – and doing the best job that has been done in many decades. I am far beyond somebody paying for a hotel room for the evening, or filling up a gas tank at an airport I do not own. These Radical Left Democrats are CRAZY! Obama Netflix?
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 16, 2019
Of course for a president who is blatantly and flagrantly not only profiting from the office but also flouting the emoluments clause of the Constitution at every turn to criticize a former president for having a career after he has left office is clearly insane. It’s not even hypocritical, it’s completely insane. I don’t need to tell you that every modern president has written books or been paid for speeches and appearances after leaving the office. That’s not profiting off of the office, that’s having one’s personal value rise on account of having been the most powerful man on Earth.
But I think there’s a nugget of something psychologically telling here that I can’t quite put my finger on. If I’m being generous with the Criminal-in-Chief, maybe he truly doesn’t understand that there is a difference between making money after having been the president and making money while being the president, and that’s why he’s so amazingly brazen about breaking our customs and laws.
I don’t actually believe that, though, and instead I suspect two things are going on here: 1. President Bankrupt finds it impossible to believe that Obama could have made such a profitable deal without committing some sort of crime because our president is a racist pig, but more importantly, 2. this is just another instance of President Insecurity’s deep resentment of President Obama and how he will never have Obama’s class, grace, respectability, and popularity. Because ain’t nobody going to be offering President Unpopular a Netflix deal once he’s out of office.
Aaaaand, Shane Gillis has officially been fired from Saturday Night Live before he ever had a chance to appear on it. This was the inevitable outcome, the only real question is how did it get this far? How can shows like Saturday Night Live or, say, The Bachelor not have people whose entire job is to just crawl through every potential candidate’s social media profiles and internet presences? This is basic stuff, guys.
Anyway, Gillis responded that he’s always been a MadTV guy, and you know what? That’s not a terrible response.
— Shane Gillis (@Shanemgillis) September 16, 2019
We have a name for the NBCU streaming service: Peacock. That works. Go to In Development for upcoming series moves.
HBO Max has signed an enormous deal for streaming rights to The Big Bang Theory. We don’t know exactly how much they paid, but I’m sure it was A LOT. Like 9 figures a lot. I had just been thinking about how this is the last week CBS will be able to run The Big Bang Theory reruns. Pour one out for the Eye.
ABC has set a “Cast from the Past” stunt, in which casts from Blues Brothers 2000, Castle, Charmed, Cheers, Crazy Rich Asians, The Drew Carey Show, Girlfriends, House, Think Like a Man, and Wet Hot American Summer are reunited. It will begin on October 7.
Angelica Ross, one of the stars of Pose, will host a GLAAD Presidential Forum on LGBTQ issues.
Roseanne Barr is still angry with Sara Gilbert even though it was Roseanne’s bad choice to tweet out a racist thing and get her ass fired. Whatever.
Sean Spicer is humiliating himself on Dancing With the Stars for Christ. OK. SURE THING, SPICEY.
Thank you @GovMikeHuckabee Clearly the judges aren’t going to be with me. Let’s send a message to #Hollywood that those of us who stand for #Christ won’t be discounted. May God bless you https://t.co/Qqa9xi3pIM
— Sean Spicer (@seanspicer) September 17, 2019
Now may I never speak of Sean Spicer being on this dumb show ever again.
Get better soon, Duane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman.
Older News I Missed Last Week
OOH! this is one of my favorite stories from last week that we have already collectively forgotten and moved on from: So last week, our fragile president was watching a program on MSNBC about prison reform, clearly hoping that someone would mention and praise him for the prison reform bill he signed into law. However, he was not mentioned, so he had a full-on tantrum, attacking the host of the special, Lester Holt, John Legend who was interviewed in the special, Van Jones for some reason, and John Legend’s wife, Chrissy Tiegen, WHO WAS NOT IN THE SPECIAL OR MENTIONED AT ALL, whom he referred to as John Legend’s “filthy mouthed wife.” Because his idling speed is misogyny.
….A man named @VanJones68, and many others, were profusely grateful (at that time!). I SIGNED IT INTO LAW, no one else did, & Republicans deserve much credit. But now that it is passed, people that had virtually nothing to do with it are taking the praise. Guys like boring…..
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 9, 2019
…..the importance or passage of Criminal Justice Reform. They only talk about the minor players, or people that had nothing to do with it…And the people that so desperately sought my help when everyone else had failed, all they talk about now is Impeaching President Trump!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 9, 2019
But Chrissy Teigen, she is no mere novice at Twitter, and she was ready for this moment:
lol what a pussy ass bitch. tagged everyone but me. an honor, mister president.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 9, 2019
Luna, remember the night before your first day of school? When mommy was making your sign and the pussy ass bitch president had his 9th meltdown of the day pic.twitter.com/ZFZHJYrDPG
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 9, 2019
the absolute best part of his tweet is I literally didn't speak in the special, nor was I mentioned. I'm cackling at the pointless addition of me because he cannot not be a bitch pic.twitter.com/9ZkV7bh4FA
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) September 9, 2019
“Pussy Ass Bitch” began to trend furiously on Twitter, but because of all the vulgarities, it wouldn’t show up on Twitter’s trending topics, so “PAB” and “Filthy Mouthed Wife” became the alternative trending topics. (And as a filthy mouthed wife myself, BRAVA, CHRISSY!)
Teigen then went on Ellen to discuss the whole surreal situation, where she revealed when it happened, she wasn’t even able to read the original tweet because that Pussy Ass Bitch blocked her on Twitter. LOL, what a snowflake.
Uh-oh, Young Sheldon also used the emergency tone and are going to be fined by the FCC.
One America News is suing Rachel Maddow, MSNBC and Comcast over her allegation that the cable news network is “really, literally is paid Russian propaganda.” The issue is over an on-air reporter, Kristian Brunovich Rouz, whom Maddow claimed was paid by the Russian government to produce propaganda. “NUH-UH,” says One America News, “He’s just a freelancer for Sputnik News, so …” Of course, since Sputnik News is a propaganda arm of the Russian government and he was being paid to write articles for them, as a freelancer myself, I’m not sure how far this argument is going to go.
Renewals
- The Titan Games has been renewed at NBC for season 2.
Older Renewal News
- The Righteous Gemstones was renewed for a second season at HBO.
Cancellations
Older Cancellation News
In Development
- A Battlestar Galactica reboot from Sam Esmail (Mr. Robot), a Saved By the Bell reboot and a Punky Brewster reboot are in the works at NBCU’s streaming service, Peacock.
- Also coming to Peacock: The Office, Parks and Rec, Rutherford Falls, an Amber Ruffin series, Dr. Death, Angelyne, Who Wrote That, Straight Talk, and Armas De Mujler. And they are shooting for an Office reboot. Stay tuned.
- Equinox, based on a Danish podcast, is being developed as a series at Netflix.
- The Kingkiller Chronicle from Lin Manuel Miranda is no longer going forward at Showtime. It’s being shopped around for a new home.
- Jupiter’s Legacy at Netflix has had a showrunner shakeup.
- Shaquille O’Neal has signed a deal with 50 Cent’s production company to develop scripted and non-scripted projects.
Older Development News
- Dark Shadows: Reincarnation is being developed at The CW.
- Big Time Adolescence has been bought by Hulu.
- Give a Dog a Home is coming to Animal Planet.
- 13 Ghosts is being made for Crypt TV.
- Weekend Breaks with Gregg Wallace is being developed at Channel 5 in the UK.
- Soho 1918 is being developed into a series.
- Awkwafina is Nora from Queens is the official title do Awkwafina’s Comedy Central series.
- The Muppets series that was being developed for Disney+ is no longer moving forward.
Casting News
- Sophie Turner and Corey Hawkins are going to star in Survive on Quibi.
- Cheryl Hines and Rachel Harris will star as sisters in Barracudas, a comedy put pilot at ABC.
- Justin Theroux will star in Apple TV+’s adaptation of The Mosquito Coast.
- Amy Brenneman is joining the cast of Old Man on FX.
- Constance Zimmer is going to be in Shameless this season. Yesssssssss.
- Jay Baruchel will co-star in A Moody Christmas on Fox.
- Ashlie Atkinson has joined Mr. Robot.
- Luke James, La La Anthony, and Lil Rel Howery will guest star on The Chi on Showtime.
- Alexander Ludwig is going to star in Heels on Starz.
- Richard Roxburgh and Radhika Apte have been cast in Shantaram on Apple TV+.
- Langston Kerman is joining Bless This Mess on ABC this season.
- Ken Jeong is returning to guest star on Fresh Off the Boat this season.
Older Casting News
- Amanda Peet and Christian Slater will star in the next season of Dirty John. It moves from Bravo to USA this season.
- Brad Paisley will star in Fish Out of Water on Amazon.
- Keegan-Michael Key and Dylan McDermott are going to recur on No Activity on CBS All Access. Also guest starring: Beth Behrs, Joe Keery, Paula Pell, Jake Johnson, Sunita Mani, Jason Mantzoukas, Amy Sedaris and J.K. Simmons.
- Melissa George will recur on The Eddy on Netflix.
- Kelly Ripa will guest star on American Housewife again.
- Obba Babatundé will join the cast of Little Fires Everywhere on Hulu.
- Anthony Anderson and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog are going to be guest judges on The Masked Singer.
- Gary Sinise will be joining 13 Reasons Why on Netflix.
- Hailey Stanfield is talking about co-starring in Hawkeye on Disney+.
- CBS has announced the cast of the next season of Survivor.
Mark Your Calendars
- The Blacklist returns on NBC on October 4.
- Alaska the Last Frontier will debut on Discovery Channel on October 6.
- Battle of the Fittest Couple will debut on Paramount Network on October 15.
- Derbez Family Vacation will launch on Amazon on October 18.
Older Dates:
- The Good Place returns on NBC on September 26.
- The Oval and Sistas will debut on BET on October 9.
- Outdaughtered will return on TLC on October 1.
- In a Man’s World will debut on Bravo on October 1.
- Street Outlaws: Memphis will return on Discovery on September 30.
- Uncensored will return on TV One on October 6.
R.I.P.
Cokie Roberts, Legendary journalist
Rocci Chatfield, Writer on Knots Landing and Days of Our Lives
Peter Nichols, Playwright known for Gregory Girl and A Day in the Death of Joe Egg
Ted Summers, Emmy-award-winning editor who worked on General Hospital and Barney Miller
Lane Carroll, Actress best known for The Crazies
WATCH THIS
Bachelor in Paradise: The four remaining couples have some hard decisions to make in the season finale. (Finally.) 7 p.m., ABC
Country Music: I know I mentioned this miniseries last week, but this episode is about one of the all-time greats (and for whom one of my sons is sorta kinda named for) Hank Williams. 7 p.m., PBS
They Shall Not Grow Old: Peter Jackson produced and directed this previously unseen footage of World War I that brings the heroes of that world to life in an all new way. 8 p.m., HBO
Late Night:
- Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Savannah Guthrie, Hoda Kotb, Michelle Dockery, the Lumineers
- Late Night with Seth Meyers: John Goodman, Michael C. Hall, Midland, Yesod Williams
- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Barry Williams, Maureen McCormick, Christopher Knight, Eve Plumb, Mike Lookinland, Susan Olsen
- The Late Late Show with James Corden: Angela Bassett, Jim Gaffigan
- Jimmy Kimmel Live: Chance the Rapper, Sen. Cory Booker
- The Daily Show: Bashir Salahuddin, Diallo Riddle
- Conan: Seann William Scott, Jena Friedman
- Lights Out with David Spade: Brad Williams, Jen Kirkman, Rob Schneider
- Watch What Happens Live: Eileen Davidson, June Diane Raphael
- A Little Late with Lily Singh: Kenan Thompson
| TUES. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Bachelor in Paradise (new) |
| CBS | NCIS (repeat) |
FBI (repeat) |
NCIS: New Orleans (repeat) |
| CW | Pandora (repeat) |
Mysteries Decoded (new) |
Local |
| FOX | The Resident (repeat) |
9-1-1 (repeat) |
News/Local |
| NBC | America’s Got Talent (new) |
Bring the Funny (new) |