So I’m going to talk about Michael Cohen and Prague and What It All Means even though it has fuckall to do with TV. Deal with it.

So how’s your day going? Because my day and Buzzfeed’s day is going GREAT. In case you have not yet heard, Trump’s fixer and the dumbest operative in the Trump crime family not named “Donald Junior,” Michael Cohen, has dropped his libel lawsuits against Buzzfeed and Fusion GPS which is either HUGE FUCKING NEWS, or just a bit of legal strategy, but I choose to believe that it is HUGE FUCKING NEWS.

So here’s the deal: One of the most important things the infamous Steele dossier alleged was pee pee tapes that Michael Cohen traveled to Prague in late summer 2016 to meet with Russian operatives to “clean up” the mess left behind by the revelations of Paul Manafort’s and that idiot Carter Page’s connections to Russia. Which is a big deal!

But it’s not as big a deal as what the Steele Dossier alleged later, specifically:

COHEN had been accompanied to Prague by 3 colleagues and the timing of the visit was either in the last week of August or the first week of September. One of their main Russian interlocutors was Oleg SOLODUKHIN operating under Rossotrudnichestvo cover. According to [redacted], the agenda comprised questions on how deniable cash payments were to be made to hackers who had worked in Europe under Kremlin direction against the CLINTON campaign and various contingencies for covering up these operations and Moscow’s secret liaison with the TRUMP team more generally.

Now, if true, this is one of the most shocking allegations in the dossier and clearly ties the Trump campaign to the DNC hacking by the Russians which = collusion. Which is why Cohen immediately claimed he had never been to Prague, and “proved” it by showing a photo of the outside of his passport.

Cool story, bro.

But then, later, Cohen allowed a Buzzfeed reporter to see the inside of the passport — which he claims is his only one — and the only trip marked near the Czech Republic was a visit to Italy earlier in the summer. If true, this denial allows Trump’s supporters to claim that the dossier has been disproven and that the whole collusion case is suspect. And to emphasize this, in January of this year, Michael Coehn sued Buzzfeed for defamation for publishing the dossier, and Fusion GPS for financing it in the first place.

However, last week, McClatchy reported that two sources claim Mueller has evidence that Cohen did go to the Czech Republic through Germany in August or September of 2016, which whoa if true. Cohen obviously denied the report, again.

But THEN, TODAY, Cohen suddenly dropped the lawsuits, claiming that “an attack on the free press is [not] worth his time.” LOL OK DUDE.

More likely: Cohen, a lawyer, remembered that when one files a lawsuit, one opens oneself to discovery, a process that could potentially reveal actual facts (like that he went to Prague and met with a bunch of Russians to discuss paying hackers for their hit job on the DNC, maybe, possibly, I am just saying it out loud again in hopes that it’s true).

However, my husband, Mr. T, who is a lawyer, has a more reasonable explanation for Cohen dropping the lawsuit: Cohen has just been raided by the FBI who has errrrrrrrrrrything of Cohen’s and there is currently a fight happening over who gets to see which documents. If the lawsuit were to continue, Buzzfeed would have a very compelling argument that they get to dig into Cohen’s shit, too, because: discovery. And the last thing Michael Cohen needs in his life right now is a news organization going through all of his shit, even if he’s never been to Prague in his life as he claims.

I mean, fine. Maybe.

But if you’ll excuse me, I am going to just sit here and keep believing that this development is proof that lying liar Michael Cohen went to Prague and colluded with alllllllll the Russians and that the Pee Tape is real and that Trump is going to be impeached, thank you very much.

And I know that this whole story has absolutely positively nothing to do with TV, but I’m going to claim it’s a “free press” story and remind all y’all that it’s my blog and I do what I want.

And now for actual TV news:

Speaking of Michael Cohen and lawsuits that have been dropped look for more TV interviews with Karen McDougal, the Playboy model that claims she had a months-long affair with a married Donald Trump. American Media Inc., the company who owns the National Enquirer, has released her from a contract that prevented McDougal from telling her story. The National Enquirer bought the rights to her story in August 2016, and then never ran it in a practice called “Catch and Kill.” And, as it turns out, the lawyer she used to negotiate the deal, was working with Team Trump and Michael Cohen the entire time, so that’s cooooool and not fraud at all.

Fox News employees continue to be furious — “fucking livid” — about the Sean Hannity mess, and point out that the whole thing violates the Fox News employee rules, but nothing is going to change.

LOL, a guest trolled Laura Ingraham on her own show: “Where’s your sponsors? David Hogg got rid of half of them,” he said. “A high school kid shut you down.” She then described him as a “rabid pro-illegal immigration activist.” OK.

Alex Jones told African-Americans to “go back to Africa,” because of course he did.

Amy Schumer and Tina Fey are going to close out Saturday Night Live‘s last two episodes, praise Goddess.

Nat Geo has found their female Genius: Mary Shelly.

Scandal ends tonight after 7 seasons. And apparently the producers changed the episode from the one the cast originally shot. That Shonda, she’s tricky. In this interview, the writers reveal their favorite murders.

Hey! American Vandal  — a show about spray-painted dicks — won a Peabody! Way to go, Show! Also winning Peabodys: The Handmaid’s Tale; The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel; Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King; A Series of Unfortunate Events; Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and Insecure.

Ed Harris thinks he’s the protagonist of Westworld this season. OK.

As for how season two will be, The New York Times‘ TV critic welcomes our new robot overlords.

And by the way, if you’re a Comcast Xfinity subscriber, you can watch the first season free even without an HBO subscription.

Wanna know how popular Roseanne is? Roseanne is more popular than Sunday Night Football.

Obviously, The Walking Dead is going to time jump. Duh.

Not that I needed convincing, but this piece lays out a number of good reasons for shows to gender swap (a la Lost in Space and Doctor Who).

Jenna Fischer is a class act.

EXCLUSIVE MEGHAN MARKLE BRIDAL PICTURES! (from her appearance in the Suits season finale)

Brockmire’s jacket is now in the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum in Cooperstown, and why not.

Yesterday we had some contextless photos of the new Netflix series, Maniac. Today we have a tiny bit of context.

Barbara Bush, a woman who was always willing to learn and listen and change her mind, became pen pals with Marge Simpson after she criticized the show calling it the “dumbest thing [she’d] ever seen.” After Marge wrote her a letter saying she was deeply hurt by Barbara Bush’s comments, the then First Lady wrote back saying, “How kind of you to write. I am glad you spoke your mind; I foolishly didn’t know you had one,” before adding that the Simpsons were a “charming” family setting a good example for the country.

More series are joining the ATX Television Festival. I’m still not going.

Amazon Prime reportedly has 100 million members, but how many are there for The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and how many are there for the free shipping? Because I gotta be honest, I’d take the free shipping over pretty much any programming any damn day.

GMA wants to invade your inbox.

Get well soon, Abby Lee Miller.

Renewals

• CBS renewed MacGyver, Hawaii Five-0, Blue Bloods, Bull, NCIS: New Orleans, NCIS: Los Angeles Madam Secretary, Survivor, The Amazing Race, 60 Minutes and 48 Hours.
• At Home with Amy Sedaris has received a second season from truTV.
• Chain of Command, Explorer and Genius have all been renewed at Nat Geo.
• Sundance renewed This Close.

Cancellations

• Next season will be Homeland’s last.
• Seven Seconds has been canceled at Netflix.

In Development

• Oooh, Netflix has picked up The Staircase (a true-crime documentary I’ve heard a great deal of positive buzz about) and Evil Genius: The True Story of America’s Most Diabolical Bank Heist from the Duplass Brothers.
• Utopia, the amazing-sounding British series that nearly was adapted for David Fincher for HBO, but then dumped, is coming to Amazon and Gillian Flynn is somehow involved. Not going to lie, this hits all of the pleasure centers of my brain.
• “Worst Roommate Ever” has been optioned to become a TV series and a movie — if you haven’t read the NY Magazine article yet, it’s in the link. And you definitely should.
• Netflix also picked up a bunch of international series Charité, The Wave, and an untitled Dutch series.
• Nat Geo has picked up Hostile Planet, In Their Own Words, Science Fair, Brain Games Live and Yellowstone Live, Mission To The Sun, and Apollo 50th Anniversary, and The Hot Zone. They are also developing Ten Borders, The White House Detail and Hidden Figures.
• Freeform is developing family drama Everything is Going to be OK.
• Deadly Class is coming to Syfy.
• Cinemax has ordered Jett. It will star Carla Gugino.
• VH1 is going Ray J and Princess Love their own series and Heidi and Spencer Pratt are involved, Lord save us.
• Azteca America is launching a whole telenovela channel.

Casting News

• Elizabeth Vargas is headed to A&E Investigates.
• Fionnula Flanagan, Hal Linden, Anne Archer and Joe Piscopo (Joe Piscopo?!) are going to guest star on an upcoming episode of Law & Order: SVU.

Mark Your Calendars

• My summer nightmare The Bachelorette returns on ABC on May 28.
• Celebrity Family Feud, $100,000 Pyramid, and To Tell the Truth all return on ABC on June 10.
• The Tony Awards will air on June 10.
• Phenoms will premiere on Fox on May 25.
• Gaida on the Beach will premiere on Food Network on May 20.
• Lawn & Order (which is just a very good title) will premiere on DIY on May 12.

R.I.P.

Barbara Dodd Remsen, Actress and casting director

Dale Winton, British TV game show host

WATCH THIS

Supernatural: Rowena is back and making trouble. 7 p.m., The CW

Scandal: Raise a glass bottle of red wine to Olivia Pope! Series finale. 9 p.m., ABC

The Social Network: No reason. 6:15 p.m., IFC

*Note for Houston: For some reason, our local NBC station is preempting Superstore and A.P. Bio for a special about “Saving Wildlife.” I don’t know.

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Tina Fey, Evan Rachel Wood, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Mean Girls” The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: James Marsden, Coyote Peterson The Late Late Show with James Corden: Busy Philipps, Eugenio Derbez, Emily VanCamp Jimmy Kimmel Live: The cast of “Scandal”, Chaka Khan Conan: Jason Sudeikis, Malin Akerman The Daily Show: Thandie Newton The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Jay Chandrasekhar, Steve Lemme

THURS

7:00

7:30

8:00

8:30

9:00

9:30

ABC

Grey’s Anatomy (new)

Station 19 (new)

Scandal (new)

CBS

The Big Bang Theory (new)

Young Sheldon (new)

Mom (new)

Life in Pieces (new)

S.W.A.T. (new)

CW

Supernatural (new)

Arrow (new)

News/Local

FOX

Gotham (new)

Showtime at the Apollo (new)

News/Local

NBC

Superstore (new)

A.P. Bio (new)

Will & Grace (new)

Champions (new)

Chicago Fire (new)