‘The Walking Dead’: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

The Walking Dead
“Do Not Send Us Astray”
March 25, 2018

We begin this episode with Morgan and his demons: this time he is having maddening visions of Dead Savior Gavin who keeps repeating, “You know what it is,” until Morgan freaks out and starts swinging his Jedi stick around at nothing.

Fortunately, Ghost Gavin does not distract Morgan from noticing the Savior caravan, and he — unlike some people, RICK — honks his horn to alert the others and send the warning signal back to Hilltop.

Everyone starts running around crazy in Hilltop, and in the chaos, some dumbass just leaves a gun lying on a coffee table where Kid spies it and is like, “MY GUN NOW.” However, King Ezekiel stops him, takes the gun and instructs him to stay inside the big house. Carol further adds that if Kid goes outside during the attack he will die because Carol does not sugarcoat shit.

walking dead carol threatens sam

Over in the infirmary, Siddiq is trying to help but getting pushback from some bossy lady we’ve never met before. Don’t grow too attached to Dr. Bossy Lady.

 

 

As night falls, Simon and the Saviors finally arrive at Hilltop, only to run over some spike strips preventing them from just barreling through the front gate. Maggie then calls Simon on the radio and demands to speak to Negan. When it’s clear that he’s not available, she demands that Simon and the Saviors retreat, or she’ll kill the 38 Savior prisoners. As the prisoners listen in, Simon is all, “Like I care. Do it.”

The Savior prisoners:

pearl clutch ms j

With that, Simon instructs the Saviors that the plan has changed: they are not merely going to infect a few Hilltoppers, they are going to exterminate the whole lot of them. Dwight reminds Simon that this wasn’t Negan’s plan, and considering they don’t know for sure that Negan is dead, does Simon really want to risk doing something that will piss Negan off? But Simon doesn’t have time to worry about that, and asking forgiveness is always easier than asking for permission. Slaughter on!

That’s when Daryl comes riding up on his motorcycle from behind the Saviors, opening fire on them, and hitting quite a few. The Hilltoppers open the gate for him and the Saviors follow him in, only to have the Hilltoppers move the school bus to block entry of the Saviors’ vehicles.

And then just a whole lot of shooting and running and shooting and shooting and running and yelling and it is very dark and hard to see what is even happening.

Some things that do happen (I think — like I said, it’s so dark, who even knows):

Carol’s old boyfriend gets stabbed in the belly but doesn’t die. Carol rushes to help him, only to be relieved by Siddiq.

Simon and Dwight sneak into Hilltop where they spy Tara from behind. Simon instructs Dwight to kill her, and Dwight does shoot her with an arrow in the arm with his crossbow, but it’s not a kill shot by any means. Daryl sees the whole thing.

At Maggie’s signal, the Hilltoppers retreat inside the big house and shoot out the lights, making the entire scene SOMEHOW EVEN DARKER. Simon and the Saviors begin sneaking up to the house only to have a bunch of very bright spotlights turn on at ground level, blinding them. A barrage of gunfire rains down on them from inside the house and from behind as Rick arrives some other dudes. Fighting fighting shooting fighting (at one point, Rick very nearly accidentally kills Siddiq — NOT COOL, BRO) and eventually Simon and the Saviors are forced to retreat.

run-away

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Morgan is being harassed by Ghost Gavin again. NOT GREAT TIMING, MAN.

As the Saviors take their leave, Rick and Maggie watch, and she wistfully notes that she’s disappointed: she really wanted to kill Negan tonight. Rick explains that he ran into him earlier (literally) but that Negan got away.  😦

The next day, Hilltop cleans up the mess left behind, and Maggie worries that they don’t have enough supplies to survive another assault.

Meanwhile, Daryl and Tara bicker about Dwight and his intentions: Despite being shot in the arm by him, Tara is still convinced that he’s a good dude, while Daryl desperately wants to kill him. They basically just yell, “I KNOW WHAT I SAW” at each other without coming to any sort of agreement.

 

Inside, Rick has a manly sad while prying boards from windows.

Outside, Maggie brings out Nice Savior and makes him bury his dead, and Nice Savior is like, “Cool, I’m glad they’re dead. Where’s the shovel?”

Meanwhile, that Kingdom Lady tells Maggie that she’s a “good leader.”

OK, I MEAN, I GUESS. SHE ALSO LEAVES GUNS JUST LYING AROUND ALL WILLY-NILLY FOR KIDS TO PLAY WITH, AND LITERALLY SUMMONED THE SAVIORS TO HER DOOR OUT OF SPITE SO AS TO KILL A BUNCH OF HER PEOPLE AND DIDN’T POST GUARDS TO TAKE THE NIGHT SHIFT (we’ll get to THAT in a minute), BUT YEAH, SHE’S A REGULAR MADAM PRESIDENT OVER HERE.

Over at the infirmary, Carol and Carol’s Ex-Boyfriend have a chat about why she flaked out and ran away, and she gives him the ol’ “It wasn’t you, it was me” business. Carol’s Ex-Boyfriend puts feelers out for what might happen after all this ends, and she’s like, “Bitch, this doesn’t end. What made you think this ends?”

Outside, Siddiq offers to take a look at Rick’s wound, but then begins blah blah blahing about this one prayer for the dead that has a line about, “do not send us astray after them,” and Rick’s like, “I’VE HEARD ENOUGH, THANKS.”

okay-girl-bye

Oh, and inside the big house, that Kid finds himself an AR-15 that SOMEONE JUST LEFT ON THE FLOOR. Jesus Christ, you fucking idiots.

That evening, Maggie brings the entire town into the big house for a giant slumber party, and one rando tells Maggie that he’s feeling all better now that Siddiq sewed up his wound and he definitely will not be turning into a zombie overnight, so sleep tight!

 

We then check in with the infirmary where Carol’s Ex-Boyfriend stops breathing at 2:13. Later — 3:26 to be exact — another patient in the infirmary begins moaning. When an attendant goes to check on him, Carol’s Ex-Boyfriend shambles out of the bed and eats both him and Dr. Bossy Lady who happens to be walking by.

Then these undead assholes begin to make their way to the big house whose door is just left WIDE OPEN.

And I’m going to just pause here for a minute to ask a question that I’m sure I’ve asked here before, but I don’t care, it’s my blog, I do what I want. Here goes: What are the zombie eating rules? Sometimes the zombies eat people whole; and other times, like here, they just give the victim a little love bite, just enough to infect them. Is it a factor of how hungry they are? When they only bite enough to infect, is it because they are lonely and want to make more of their own kind? What is the decision-making factor here for a creature that isn’t supposed to have any decision-making faculties? I need answers.

Anyway, while the newly undead are heading inside to join the slumber party, Kid sneaks out of the big house with his new gun and heads to the prison. There, he wakes up Greg the Coward and demands to know which of the Saviors is the one that killed his brother. Nice Savior wakes up and tries to talk Kid out of killing someone out of revenge, but KID IS NOT HAVING IT. And he unlocks the prison —

WAIT A MINUTE, MAGGIE JUST LEFT THE KEY TO THE PRISON LYING AROUND FOR ANYONE TO GRAB? Super leadering, A++ leader job, definitely “great leader.”

— and threatens to start shooting if someone doesn’t tell him which Savior killed his brother.

Which — I’m sorry, and I know this is irritating, but I have to pause to ask — how does Kid know his brother’s killer is in the prison? It’s not like these guys were rounded up from the assault on The Kingdom when Gavin was killed — that would at least make sense that his brother’s killer would be in a group made up of those particular Saviors. But these guys were just rounded up after Rick’s assault on the Sanctuary. There are A LOT of Saviors, so why is he assuming that his brother’s killer is one of these particular 38 guys, and why doesn’t one of them just say, “Little Dude, his name was Kevin and he died like two weeks ago” and end this nonsense?

BUT I DIGRESS. Instead, Kid is preparing to shoot errrrrybody when a wounded Savior renanimates and starts biting people and chaos breaks out and the Bad Savior who did kill Kid’s brother knocks him down and grabs his gun and everybody makes a break for it out of the open gate.

 

 

Fantastic leadership.

Inside the big house, things aren’t much better, with the wounded Hilltoppers dying and reanimating and biting everyone. Eventually, Team Rick is able to manage the hysteria and kill all the zombies, including Carol’s Ex-Boyfriend who managed to get upstairs? Wait, can zombies climb stairs?

Once everything has settled down, they realize that the zombies are all their people who had been wounded in the fight. Putting two and a blood-covered-Lucille together, they realize that the Saviors must have contaminated their weapons. And then everyone looks at Tara with sad eyes, but she’s like, ~shrug~ “karma’s a bitch.”

 

 

 

Outside, Siddiq goes to check on the prisoners, only to be attacked by Savior zombie, but Nice Guy saves him. When Maggie and the others arrive on the scene, Nice Guy explains what happened and that some of the Saviors, including himself, decided to stay behind because fuck Simon.

As for Kid, he’s missing. But you know who’s not missing? Gavin the Ghost. “You know what it is.” ACTUALLY, I DO NOT. PLEASE TO EXPLAIN.

Finally, Maggie looks on while Jerry and Jesus have to dig more graves, and has a sad about “the cost.” GIRL, THAT IS ON YOU.

First, I wanted to share the verse from the prayer that Siddiq referenced. The line that the episode title was taken from is powerful, particularly for anyone who has ever lost someone they loved deeply, and knows that desire to not continue living without them:

 

O Allah forgive our living and our dead, those who are with us and those who are absent, our young and our old, our menfolk and our womenfolk. O Allah, whomever you give life from among us give him life in Islam, and whomever you take way from us take him away in Faith. O Allah, do not forbid us their reward and do not send us astray after them. 

I don’t know that I have ever seen that very particular and specific emotion expressed in a prayer before, but it does touch upon something fundamentally profound about grief.

As for the rest of the episode, I just will say that while the Hilltoppers’ strategy for the Saviors’ attack was A++ and super cool, it strains credulity that whomever made such careful, well-thought-out plans would also be so careless and lazy as to: 1. not have guards patrolling while the rest of the group slept if only to make sure the Saviors didn’t return 2. WOULD LEAVE THE FREAKING FRONT DOOR WIDE OPEN WHILE EVERYONE SLEPT (Look, I live in Houston, I get it, it gets hot in the summer and you need air flow. Still, YOU WERE JUST ATTACKED BY ENEMIES WHO WANTED TO EXTERMINATE ALL OF YOU, MAYBE CLOSE THE DOOR WHILE YOU ARE AT YOUR MOST VULNERABLE. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF #1.) 3. would just leave guns and prison keys laying around for anyone to take.

I … JUST … NO.

your-writing-is-bad-and-you-should-feel-bad

The fight continues.

The Walking Dead airs on AMC on Sundays at 8/9 p.m.

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