Alright, so last night news broke that President Obstruction wanted to fire Robert Mueller back in June but when White House counsel Dan McGahn threatened to quit if he went through with it, President (Grab Them By the) Pussy backed down. While the Liar-in-Chief dismissed it as — what else — “fake news,” his lawyer issued a less definitive statement: “We decline to comment out of respect for the Office of the Special Counsel and its process.”
LOL, OK.
This is obviously another bit of evidence that this asshole is obstructing justice, and so it’s not surprising that Fox News doesn’t want anything to do with it. But you have to see how Sean Hannity handled the story because it is the funniest fucking thing you’ll see all day:
CAR CHASE! LOOKEE AT THE CAR CHASE AND DO NOT WORRY YOUR TINY BRAIN WITH OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE!
Hannity then tried to defend his decision to call Fake News on this not fake story with this tweet:
Ok, but some questions:
- But isn’t this your face?
- Are you saying that The New York Times made you pose like this?
- How did they do that?
- Why did you add the green?
- Why would you do that?
- No, seriously, I need to know: why would you make your face green?
- Is it Jolly Green Giant cosplay?
- Is this, as one tweeter theorized, a Shrek meme?
- Is everything OK, Sean?
- Are you having a breakdown or is this more like a stroke situation?
As for how the State Media handled the story this morning, it went exactly the way you think it would: “Fake news but also you don’t care.”
Bless their hearts.
In other news, Stormy Daniels will make her late night debut on Jimmy Kimmel Live! on January 30 — the same night as the State of the Union.
And do not come for April Ryan because you are not ready.
Jemele Hill is leaving ESPN after all. According to the network, it was her choice and she was not fired.
Viola Davis is the fucking best.
Charmed is the latest reboot (see below), but not everyone is happy about it:
Speaking of reboots, TV by the Numbers breaks down the chances for other reboots. (But I think those chances for A Different World are waaaaay too optimistic.)
The Walking Dead has released key art and a synopsis of where we will be when the series returns on February 25. Meanwhile, some fans are trying to convince themselves that there is a chance Carl might survive. Oh, babies, no.
Here’s an argument for ending Suits. It’s an interesting question because USA seems to be at a crossroads itself, trying to become more of a prestige network. It had success with The Sinner, but their more recent foray into serious drama, Damnation, was just canceled (see below). They may need to keep the reasonably successful Suits around for a season or two longer until they can figure out who they want to be moving forward.
This is a long piece on my upcoming nightmare, Bachelor Winter Games, and the challenge of having international contestants. SEND BOX WINE.
Sex Creep News
Casey Affleck got the message and withdrew from the Oscars where he was set to present Best Actress.
Anne Heche “Me toos,” about Harvey Weinstein, and says he fired her from a film. Also, another of Weinstein’s former assistants is suing him, saying that he dictated emails while naked and made her clean his disgusting couch among other horrors.
The NFL Network denies wrongdoing in a sexual harassment lawsuit.
The Broadway production of Bullets over Broadway has been canceled amid the resurgence of the Dylan Farrow allegations.
Ryan Lizza is back on CNN after an investigation into allegations against him did not find reason to keep him off the air.
Google needs to get its shit together.
Renewals
- Bring It! and Little Women: LA have been renewed by Lifetime.
Cancellations
- Damnation has been canceled after one season on USA.
In Development
- Station 19 is the official name of the Grey’s Anatomy fire station spinoff.
- Charlie Kaufman is set to adapt I’m Thinking of Ending Things for Netflix.
- Damien Chazelle is working on a drama series for Apple.
- Web series America Versus is being turned into a series for Paramount TV.
- American Rust is not moving forward at USA after all.
The CW Pilot Orders
- The long-rumored Charmed reboot is finally here.
- Dead Inside, a supernatural crime procedural in which a cop solves crimes with her brother, a ghost.
ABC Pilot Orders
- The reboot of The Greatest American Hero with a female lead is a go.
Casting News
- Paul Bettany will NOT be your new Prince Phillip after all. Here are some suggestions for other actors who could take the role. I’m down for Jason Isaacs or Iain Glen.
- Bravo is holding open casting calls for Top Chef, and Houston is one of the locations if you know what you’re doing in the kitchen.
- We don’t know who is going to be on Celebrity Big Brother next month, but here are some guesses.
- David W. Thompson will be taking over the role of Scarecrow on Gotham.
- Joanne Whalley is joining Netflix’s Daredevil.
- Brett Dalton is joining the upcoming ABC series Deception.
Mark Your Calendar
- Gotham returns on March 1.
- Showtime at the Apollo will begin airing weekly on Fox beginning March 1.
- MasterChef Jr. returns March 2 on Fox.
- Glam Masters debuts on Lifetime on February 28.
- Laurieann Gibson: Beyond the Spotlight debuts on Lifetime on March 2.
- My Partner Knows Best premieres on Lifetime on April 25.
- Thursday Night Darts: Premiere League 2018 will begin airing on BBC America on February 1.
- Love at First Flight debuts on Lifetime on March 20.
R.I.P.
Joel Freeman, Producer
Louie Nicolas Elias Jr., Stuntman
WATCH THIS
FRIDAY
One Day at a Time: Season two of the delightful family sitcom. Netflix
Britannia: Yeah, but what if Game of Thrones were like, kinda shittier and featured more raves? Season premiere. Amazon
Jane the Virgin: Yay, it’s back! Finally! 8 p.m., The CW
SATURDAY
Conan: Conan goes to Haiti because if Trump doesn’t like it, the people must be lovely. 9 p.m., TBS
Saturday Night Live: Will Ferrell & Chris Stapleton. 10:30 p.m., NBC
SUNDAY
60th Annual Grammy Awards: Musicians give each other prizes. 6:30 p.m., CBS
Shameless: Carl wants to return to school in the season finale. 8 p.m., Showtime
Late Night: Watch What Happens Live (Sunday): Kandi Burruss, Bevy Smith
| FRI. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Child Support (repeat) |
Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (new) |
20/20 (repeat) |
| CBS | Bruno Mars Live at the Apollo (repeat) |
Hawaii Five-0 (repeat) |
Blue Bloods (repeat) |
| CW | Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (new) |
Jane the Virgin (new) |
Local |
| FOX | Hell’s Kitchen (new) |
The Resident (repeat) |
Local |
| NBC | Blindspot (new) |
Taken (new) |
Dateline NBC (new) |
—
| SAT. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 | 10:00 | 10:30 | 11:00 | 11:30 |
| ABC | NBA Basketball | News/Local |
| CBS | NCIS (repeat) |
SEAL Team (repeat) |
48 Hours (new) |
News/Local |
| FOX | UFC Fight Night (live) |
News/Local |
| NBC | Will & Grace (repeat) |
Superstore (repeat) |
Dateline NBC (repeat) |
News/Local | Saturday Night Live (Will Ferrell & Chris Stapleton) |
—
| SUN. | 6:00 | 6:30 | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
America’s Funniest Home Videos (new) |
Shark Tank (new) |
Shark Tank (new) |
| CBS | Grammy Red Carpet (live) |
The Grammys (live) |
| FOX | Brooklyn Nine-Nine (repeat) |
Bob’s Burgers (repeat) |
The Simpsons (repeat) |
Ghosted (repeat) |
Family Guy (repeat) |
LA to Vegas (repeat) |
Local/News |
| NBC | Dateline NBC (new) |
Neighbors |
I know it’s silly, but Charmed is one of my favorite shows ever. I am all-in on a reboot, but taken Holly’s statement, kinda tempering expectations.