‘The Crown,’ ‘Top Chef,’ ‘Counterpart’ and everything else you don’t want to miss on TV this week

MONDAY

Vanderpump Rules: These assholes are back. Season premiere. 8 p.m., Bravo

The Great Christmas Light Fight: Some lunatic wraps 78 trees in lights in the season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC

The Wall: It’s a holiday-themed episode. 9 p.m., NBC

Relationshep: Prepare for all the “Shep” puns you can handle. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Bravo

The 95th Annual Christmas Tree Lighting from President’s Park: What if you held a tree lighting and no one came? 6 p.m., Hallmark

Cash Cab: This is back. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Discovery

TUESDAY

Will & Grace: The group imagines what Christmas in old New York would be like. (Spoiler alert: not cool with the gays.) 8 p.m., NBC

Superstore: It’s Christmas Eve, good luck. 8:30 p.m., NBC

The Middle: Something about a time capsule on the 200th episode. 200 episodes is a lot of episodes! 7 p.m., ABC

Stripped: This new series is some sort of experiment where they take everything you own out of your house or something. No thanks! Series premiere. 9 p.m., Bravo

WEDNESDAY

Happy!: Christopher Meloni is seeing tiny flying horses in this wacky new series. Series premiere. 9 p.m., Syfy

The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Oh lord, it’s the Posche Fashion Show so SHIT IS GOING DOWN. 8 p.m., Bravo

Shut Eye: Season two. Hulu

Broad City: OH NO ILANA AND ABBI ARE LEAVING US DO NOT GO LADIES DO NOT LEAVE US WE NEED YOU RIGHT NOW. Season finale. 9:30 p.m., Comedy Central

THURSDAY

Top Chef: The new season is set in Colorado until it picks up and moves to Vietnam or something for no good reason. Season premiere. 9 p.m., Bravo

The Great American Baking Show: Season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC

Psych: The Movie: They’ve made a movie of it. But not of Community. 7 p.m., USA

The Orville: ADIOS, MOTHERFUCKERS. Season finale. 8 p.m., Fox

FRIDAY

The Crown: Season premiere, even though I was pretty sure it had already debuted months ago. Shows what I know. Netflix

The Grand Tour: My teenage son will be so excited. Season premiere. Amazon

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Paula confronts his past in the winter finale. 7 p.m., The CW

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live: James Franco & SZA 10:30 p.m., NBC

Logan: I have sworn off superhero movies, but I hear this one is good? Ugh, does this mean I have to watch it? 7 p.m., HBO

Mary Poppins: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. 7 p.m., ABC

SUNDAY

Outlander: The Frasers take Jamaica. Season finale.  7 p.m., Starz

Counterpart: J.K. Simmons stars in this new sci-fi thriller. It has a sneak preview tonight, before premiering in January. Series premiere.  8 p.m., Starz

The Walking Dead: Mid-season finale. 8 p.m., AMC

Frozen: Let it go, etc.  7 p.m., ABC

Star Wars marathon: Watch the first six movies, even the not great ones, in preparation for the premiere of Star Wars: The Last Jedi which is happening SO SOON. 3:20 a.m. TBS

 

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