Now the Fucking Moron-in-Chief is picking a fight with Late Night proving once again that he is a fucking moron

Somehow, we survived another weekend with Donald Trump in the Oval Office. So who was the Tweeter-in-Chief attacking on his favorite social media platform this time? NBC News (for the “Fucking Moron” story again) and Late Night? For some reason?

First of all, you halfwit, the Equal Time rule applies to campaigns, stating that broadcasting networks must treat political candidates equally when selling or giving away airtime. Last I checked, we were not in the midst of an election and President Fucking Moron does not have a political opponent.

Second of all, the Fairness Doctrine, which is not the same thing as the Equal Time rule, was a FCC policy that required broadcasters to cover controversial issues of importance  in a way that was “honest, equitable and balanced.” Ronald Reagan did away with it in 1987, giving rise to media outlets like Fox News. SO I DON’T THINK YOU REALLY WANT TO DO AWAY WITH THAT, DO YOU, YOU UNEDUCATED RABID BABOON?

Anyway, late night had some thoughts.

Jimmy Kimmel was happy to oblige Trump:

Late Night with Seth Meyers invited him to stop by the studio:

And The Daily Show was happy to give Trump equal time:

But then Donny Johnny Trash Jr. decided to get into the game and attack Jimmy Kimmel over Harvey Weinstein? Not only that, Donny Johnny Trash Jr. decided to attack Jimmy Kimmel over Harvey Weinstein on the anniversary of the Access Hollywood tape was dropped.

Needless to say, Jimmy Kimmel is far smarter and far funnier than Donny Johnny Trash Jr.

Donny Johnny Trash Jr. did not respond. Go figure.

Meanwhile, Twitter wasn’t the only place honoring the one year anniversary of the Access Hollywood tape: This women’s organization broadcast it on a loop on a jumbo TV in full view of the White House. Grab back, ladies.

And an Apprentice producer reminded America that the Access Hollywood tapes are just the beginning, that Trump used all sorts of horrific, misogynistic and racist language on the set of the Apprentice and that the tapes are out there. Somewhere. Of course, it doesn’t fucking matter in the long run. If America didn’t give a shit about “grab ’em by the pussy,” they aren’t going to care about this.

Oh, and there was some bullshit P.R. stunt that Pence and Trump pulled at an NFL game this weekend that cost the taxpayers an estimated $250,000, but I don’t have the goddamned energy, you guys.

In Other TV News

Saturday Night Live reportedly had Harvey Weinstein jokes but scrapped them. But John Oliver wasn’t afraid to go after that disgusting creep. I trust that the rest of Late Night will act accordingly.

McDonald’s found themselves mired in their own P.R. nightmare this weekend — over nugget sauce. Thanks to Rick & Morty, they brought the Szechuan Sauce back for one day, and only at some McDonald’s. But even worse: the select McDonald’s that had the sauce were each only given 20 to give out. This created … issues. One person wants to file a class-action lawsuit. People are selling it for insane amounts of money on Ebay. Police had to get involved at some restaurants. For their part, McDonald’s has promised to bring back the sauce sometime later for a longer period of time. But, y’all, how hard is it to make a damn sauce?

The Wall Street Journal ran a piece that reveals that Amazon is “way over their heads” when it comes to their entertainment division, and creatives are not happy. If you can’t get behind the paywall, apparently, they passed on Big Little Lies and The Handmaid’s Tale, David E. Kelley left Amazon after only one season on Goliath, and one Amazon executive pressured The Tick to hire his girlfriend.

OOH, they’re finally going to do a Walking Dead/Fear the Walking Dead crossover. BUT HOW? WHO?

Game of Thrones has made the scripts for season 8 nearly impossible to leak. But I’m sure someone will try.

Come for the anime, stay for the Game of Thrones‘ theme song sung with Japanese lyrics:

“Trump’s happy face — that’s the scariest face of all time. He’s kind of a water-gun clown.” — Jerry Seinfeld on whether Trump will ever be invited on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee. He also reveals his all-time favorite Seinfeld joke. It involves prop comedy.

American Horror Story has edited this week’s episode that originally featured a mass shooting. The shooting will still take place, but the violence will reportedly be off-camera, because Ryan Murphy cares about “victims’ rights.” OK.

Ryan Murphy also thinks that Sex and the City should just kill or recast Samantha. No.

Shannen Doherty is here to dash your hopes for a Charmed reboot.

Peter Capaldi figured out the next Doctor Who was going to be a woman because of a pair of pants.

Fun fact: the pig in the first episode of Black Mirror was almost a frozen chicken.

Safelight is not happy about that Saturday Night Live sketch.

Austin Rogers, Jeopardy’s “rapscallion.”

TURN OFF THE MOTION SMOOTHING ON YOUR TV, YOU GUYS.

Interesting: the Fox News lawyer who “knows where the bodies are buried” is leaving the network.

Cancellations

In Development

Casting News

R.I.P.

Ralphie May, Comedian, Last Comic Standing contestant

Jack Good, Creator of Shindig, a British rock-n-roll series that hosted the Beatles, the Rolling Stones and James Brown

Ray “Moosie” Turnbull, TV Curling Analyst

WATCH THIS

The Real Housewives of Dallas: More dildo hilarity. 9 p.m., Bravo

Valor: Sexy helicopter pilots have sexytime. Series premiere. 8 p.m., The CW

Supergirl: Season premiere. 7 p.m., The CW

3 Hikers: A documentary about the three American hikers who crossed the border into Iran, were captured and held as prisoners for two years.
8 p.m., Starz

Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Tyler Perry, Lea Michele, Jhene Aiko, Big Sean Late Night with Seth Meyers: Sen. Cory Booker, Mackenzie Davis, Phoenix, Joe Russo The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Jackie Chan, Tig Notaro, Bob Schieffer, Trombone Shorty The Late Late Show with James Corden: Jeff Bridges, David Boreanaz, Liam Gallagher Jimmy Kimmel Live: Chadwick Boseman, January Jones, Dhani Harrison Watch What Happens Live: Jenni Pulos, Shannon Beador

MON. 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30
ABC Dancing with the Stars
(new)
The Good Doctor
(new)
CBS The Big Bang Theory
(new)
9JKL
(new)
Kevin Can Wait
(new)
Me, Myself & I
(new)
Scorpion
(new)
CW Supergirl
(new)
Valor
(new)
Local
FOX Lucifer
(new)
The Gifted
(new)
News/Local
NBC The Voice
(new)
The Brave
(new)
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