The numbers have been crunched and you people are officially monsters.
THE ORVILLE?? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYY? You all know that I hate Seth MacFarlane with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. So now I hate all of you who voted for The Orville with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Hope you’re happy with yourselves.
Got questions about last night’s big reveal on This Is Us? Scroll over for spoilers if you’ve already watched: yes, that was the Pearson’s house that burned down; yes, it has something to do with Jack’s death; the kids were at Miguel’s house in that scene; and yes, it was confusing.
Game of Thrones revealed the directors for the final season, and it looks like Benioff and Weiss will be taking on the finale themselves.
In other Game of Thrones news, they’ve listed seven new roles (mostly small roles, don’t get too excited).
Ohhhh, so that’s where 30 Rock is going …
Here are 100 “secrets” about the 100th episode of The Walking Dead.
People love them some Sheldon.
The Paley Center for Media is going to honor the great Betty White.
Amy Palladino signed a deal with Amazon to make shows for them, but it contains a clause that leaves open the possibility for more Gilmore Girls at Netflix. Doesn’t mean there will be more Gilmore Girls, just that there might be.
So Megyn Kelly had the cast of Will & Grace on her hour of The Today Show and then this dumb bitch went and asked a superfan of Will & Grace, “Is it true you became a lawyer, and you became gay, because of Will?” YA, I KNOW. So now Debra Messing is saying on a photograph of cucumbers on her Instagram feed that she regrets going on the Today Show because that’s how the world works now.
Tim Allen is still going around saying that Last Man Standing was canceled because he’s a conservative and “there is nothing more dangerous, especially in this climate than a funny, likable conservative character.” Oh, calm down, Tim Allen, you’re just not that important.
In their first head-to-head night, Sean Hannity beat Rachel Maddow. Boo.
This is going to be going on for a while:
Oh, God, another Kardashian is pregnant. How many Kardashians are there? And are they all pregnant? Is this just a scheme for another spinoff?
KIT HARINGTON AND ROSE LESLIE ARE ENGAGED LOVE IS REAL
Take care of yourself, Pete Davidson.
Cancellations
In Development
- The creators of Party of Five are planning a reboot with an “immigration twist.” Lemme guess: the parents are deported.
- ABC is working on a Get Christie Love reboot.
- Too Close to Home, a sister comedy from Ellen Degeneres’ production company, is being developed at NBC.
- Marlon Wayans will have his own Netflix stand-up special.
- The memoir Gorilla and the Bird is being developed into a series by Channing Tatum’s production company.
- Kate Berlant and John Early are working on This is Heaven, a comedy for Hulu.
- The It’s Always Sunny guys’ new comedy project is moving forward at Fox.
- Tina Brown’s book The Vanity Fair Diaries is being developed as a series.
- Fox News has unveiled two new daytime series: Outnumbered Overtime with Harris Faulkner and The Daily Briefing with Dana Perino.
Casting News
- Saturday Night Live added three new cast members: Heidi Gardner, Luke Null, and Chris Redd.
- Brooke Shields and Philip Winchester will be on Law & Order: SVU this season.
- Sherman Augustus, Babou Ceesay, and Ella-Rae Smith are joining the third season of Into the Badlands.
- Kyanna Simone Simpson is joining Black Lightning.
- Courtney Grosbeck is joining Homeland.
- Terrell Carter will be recurring in Empire this season.
- Necar Zadega is going to be in the cast of Alan Ball’s new project for HBO.
- Merrin Dungey is joining the cast of The Resident.
- Elijah Kelly is joining the cast of Star.
- Nicole Kang is joining You.
- Toks Olagundoye will be in Tremors.
- Matthew del Negro is joining the cast of Goliath.
R.I.P.
Barry Dennen, actor
WATCH THIS
SEAL Team: Series premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
The Blacklist: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
Empire: Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
The Goldbergs: Season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
Survivor: Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
Speechless: Season premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC
Law & Order: SVU: Season premiere. 8 p.m., NBC
Modern Family: Season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC
Star: Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
American Housewife: Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., ABC
Chicago P.D.: Season premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
Criminal Minds: Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
Designated Survivor: Season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jared Leto, Nicole Richie, Tyler the Creator Late Night with Seth Meyers: Sofia Vergara, Craig Robinson, Julie Klausner, Gregg Bissonette The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Nick Kroll, Michael Bloomberg, Tim & Eric The Late Late Show with James Corden: Billie Lourd, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Tim Roth, Macklemore Jimmy Kimmel Live: Liam Neeson, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, Old Dominion Conan: Andy Samberg, Big Jay Oakerson, J. Roddy Walston & The Business The Daily Show: America Ferrera Watch What Happens Live: Sterling K. Brown, Sean Hayes
| WEDS. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | The Goldbergs (new) |
Speechless (new) |
Modern Family (new) |
American Housewife (new) |
Designated Survivor (new) |
| CBS | Survivor (new) |
SEAL Team (new) |
Criminal Minds (new) |
| CW | Arrow (repeat) |
Supernatural (repeat) |
Local |
| FOX | Empire (new) |
Star (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | The Blacklist (new) |
Law & Order: SVU (new) |
Chicago P.D. (new) |
I’m feeling very meh about the new SNL kids. Probably because they are replacing two of my favorites. Not their fault – Hopefully they find their voices soon.
You’ll have to tell us which is worse. Recapping The Orville or any of the Bachelor/ette shows.
So will this require a new batch of box wine?
I’m not sure that’s going to do the trick, Jim. I’m thinking bourbon. ALL OF THE BOURBON.