MONDAY
So You Think You Can Dance: It’s the finale, and I have to be honest, I don’t have a dog in this particular fight ever since Kaylee and Mark were eliminated. Season finale. 7 p.m., Fox
Young Sheldon: Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS
Me, Myself & I: Series premiere. 8:30 p.m., CBS
The Brave: Series premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
The Good Doctor: Series premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
The Voice: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
The Big Bang Theory: Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
Kevin Can Wait: Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
Scorpion: Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
People of Earth: Will Jeff and Walsh finally overthrow Eric? Season finale. 9:30 p.m., TBS
The Opposition with Jordan Klepper: Like Alex Jones but funny. Alright, funnier. Series premiere. 10:30 p.m., Comedy Central
TUESDAY
Law & Order: True Crime: Series premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
Lethal Weapon: Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
NCIS: Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
Bull: Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
The Mick: Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
This Is Us: Season premiere. 8 p.m., NBC
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., Fox
NCIS: New Orleans: Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
WEDNESDAY
SEAL Team: Series premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
The Blacklist: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
Empire: Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
The Goldbergs: Season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
Survivor: Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
Speechless: Season premiere. 7:30 p.m., ABC
Law & Order: SVU: Season premiere. 8 p.m., NBC
Modern Family: Season premiere. 8 p.m., ABC
Star: Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
American Housewife: Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., ABC
Chicago P.D.: Season premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
Criminal Minds: Season premiere. 9 p.m., CBS
Designated Survivor: Season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
THURSDAY
Nathan for You: I honestly do not know if there is a more awkward and painful series than this one. It is a gem. Season premiere. 9 p.m., Comedy Central
Grey’s Anatomy: Season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
Superstore: Season premiere. 7 p.m., NBC
Great News: Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., NBC
Chicago Fire: Season premiere. 9 p.m., NBC
How to Get Away With Murder: Season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
Will & Grace: Season premiere. Sorta? I mean, it’s not a series premiere, but it’s not a typical season premiere, either. I don’t know. 8 p.m., NBC
FRIDAY
Big Mouth: This is a new animated series about puberty, starring the voices of Nick Kroll, John Mulaney, Maya Rudolph and Jordan Peele among others. Series premiere. Netflix
Gerald’s Game: Film, not series, based on the Stephen King novel about a woman whose abusive husband ties her up for a little sexytime play and then up and dies on her. Netflix
Tin Star: Tim Roth and Christina Hendricks star in this British series about a small town cop who is dealing with a wave of crime. Series premiere. Amazon
Marvel’s Inhumans: Series premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
Hell’s Kitchen: Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
MacGyver: Season premiere. 7 p.m., CBS
Hawaii Five-0: Season premiere. 8 p.m., CBS
The Exorcist: Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
Blue Bloods: Season premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
SATURDAY
Saturday Night Live: Ryan Gosling & Jay-Z. Season premiere. 10:30 p.m., NBC
Versailles: Louis is plagued with nightmares in the season premiere. 9 p.m., Ovation
SUNDAY
Curb Your Enthusiasm: I can hear the trombone already. Season premiere. 9 p.m., HBO
Ghosted: Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., Fox
Wisdom of the Crowd: Series premiere. 7:30 p.m., CBS
Ten Days in the Valley: Series premiere. 9 p.m., ABC
The Toy Box: Season premiere. 6 p.m., ABC
Shark Tank: Season premiere. 7 p.m., ABC
The Simpsons: Season premiere. 7 p.m., Fox
Family Guy: Season premiere. 8 p.m., Fox
The Last Man on Earth: Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., Fox
NCIS: Los Angeles: Season premiere. 8:30 p.m., CBS
To piggyback off of the Burneko Deadspin article you linked earlier, There are too many shows! And too many good shows. I know that sounds counter-intuitive and 100% first world problems, but damn – there is only so much time in a day. Just on the list above there are 17 shows I watch or will be on the DVR. That’s too many shows!
There’s no room for shows that I think that I would like, like People of Earth. It’s probably great, but no time. It’s a good problem to have, but dang.