Stephen Colbert will be the host of the Kennedy Center Honors for one last time this year. Honorees include Martha Argerich, the Eagles, Al Pacino, Mavis Staples, and James Taylor.. I can only suppose next year it will be hosted by Gary Busey, and honorees will include Ted Nugent, Chachi, the entire cast of Duck Dynasty, and Omarosa.
For his Election Night special, Stephen Colbert didn’t want to write material for the possibility of a Donald Trump win: “No! There is nothing you can write. You don’t understand. I have 400 people in my theater. If we know Donald Trump is going to win, it’s going to be like doing stand-up comedy for one of those Chilean soccer stadiums where the villagers watch you execute one of the natives. There will be no laughter!” Also: “‘We hired a series of very fit naked men, with high, tight butts. We were going to bring them out if Hillary won,’ Colbert explained. ‘And painted on their asses was going to be [one letter on each behind] “I’m with her.” And then very early on the evening, we were like, “You can let those guys go.”‘”
Hey, remember that casting call for a new network that sounded an awful lot like a potential Trump TV? Yeah, actually Triumph the Insult Comic Dog placed that ad, and it was brilliant.
Donald Trump met with the man who inspired Ari on Entourage to chat about his administration. YEP. SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT.
Gigi Hadid did a very good Melania impersonation on the AMAs last night:
Also at the AMAs: Green Day changed the lyrics to their new song “Bang, Bang” to sing, “No Trump, No KKK, No fascist USA.” @realDonaldTrump meltdown to begin in 3…2…
Need more Walking Dead in your life? Well, good news: AMC is adding more extended episodes, and a movie is all but “inevitable” according to showrunner Scott Gimple.
Here’s the red band It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia trailer you’ve been waiting for. RED BAND = BAD WORDS. You’ve been warned.
The Science Channel has canceled the Pumpkin Chunkin after a producer was horribly injured during the competition. Get well soon, Producer!
Dr. Phil exploited mentally ill Shelley Duvall for a November sweeps episode last week which I chose not to mention until now because I didn’t want to inadvertently promote it. It generated a great deal of outrage, and Stanley Kubrick’s daughter responded by raising money to help treat her. I’ve always had a soft spot for Duvall who grew up here in Houston and went to elementary school with one of my aunts. Let’s hope she receives the treatment she needs and is protected from television quacks in the future.
Brett Gelman is a Hey, It’s That Guy that you definitely know: he was the naked guy in the last couple of episodes of Mad Men; he was on that Matthew Perry series Go On; you know him. ANYWAY, he’s joining the cast of Stranger Things as a conspiracy theorist who is probably TOTALLY RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.
Bruno Mars will be in your Carpool Karaoke.
Kevin Hart Presents: Hart of the City has been renewed for a second season on Comedy Central because Kevin Hart just isn’t busy enough these days.
Hey, if you are reading this and live in the Los Angeles area (LOL, SURE), there’s an entire MythBusters art show happening through November 27 in Burbank.
“Why Shepard Smith Got a Big Box of ChapSticks” = most important headline of the day.
This Netflix ad is the most anti-Netflix ad. I has a confused.
Brilliant novelist Zadie Smith loving and appreciating Crazy Ex-Girlfriend will make you feel smart by extension for also loving and appreciating Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
WATCH THIS
Timeless: George Washington? Maybe? 9 p.m., NBC
Search Party: Alia Shawkat (Maeby from Arrested Development) stars in this dark comedy about a young woman who searches for a classmate who has gone missing. Series premiere. 10 p.m., TBS
Marathon: The Patriot’s Day Bombing: A look at the horrific Boston Marathon bombings. 7 p.m., HBO
Harlan County, USA: An Oscar-winning documentary about a coal workers’ strike in the 70s that feels more relevant than ever. 7 p.m., TCM
Late Night: Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Jason Sudeikis, Kristin Chenoweth, DNCE Late Night with Seth Meyers: Kathy Griffin, Dev Patel, Jose Andres The Late Show with Stephen Colbert: Michael Weatherly, Carrie Fisher, the Pretenders The Late Late Show with James Corden: Anna Kendrick, Billy Eichner, Kurt Braunohler Jimmy Kimmel Live: Shia LaBeouf, Anna Camp, Green Day
| MON. | 7:00 | 7:30 | 8:00 | 8:30 | 9:00 | 9:30 |
| ABC | Dancing with the Stars (new) |
Conviction (new) |
| CBS | Kevin Can Wait (new) |
Man With a Plan (new) |
2 Broke Girls (new) |
The Odd Couple (new) |
Scorpion (new) |
| CW | NFL Football: Texans vs Raiders (live) |
| FOX | Gotham (new) |
Lucifer (new) |
News/Local |
| NBC | The Voice (new) |
Timeless (new) |